Change
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM. T’narr and Jaythen story. Takes place when Jaythen is a 10 year old padawan. Jaythen is traumatized after being abducted and it changes his and his master's lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

This is my longest story EVER! My first 100 pager. It tried to end several times, but it wouldn't. I hope you guys enjoy it. I struggled with it in places, but in the end, I'm happy with how it turned out. Thanks for reading! This is the first of 11 parts.

TITLE: Change

AUTHOR: Obi the Kid

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Pre-TPM. T'narr and Jaythen story. (Takes place when Jaythen is a 10 year old padawan.) Jaythen is traumatized after being abducted and it changes his and his master's lives forever.

DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. I make no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

~*~

He was there. Just as the old woman had said. How she knew, I do not know. That she wasn't involved in his abduction or abuse was all I could pry from her feelings. Those specific details of the how and why would come later. Right now only one thing mattered. The boy who lay in a small crumpled heap in the cold damp confines of this dungeon-like basement. My apprentice. My padawan. For all intensive purposes, my son. Jaythen.

He was alive, somehow. Naked and cold. Thin. So very thin. Bloody and bruised. But alive.

I'd become immune to the others, so determined to come with me in my rescue mission. I had been prepared to come alone, no matter the danger in the surrounding community, known for its violence and hatred of outsiders, especially Jedi. But I was grateful to have the support of my friends beside me. Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, had volunteered for the mission as soon as they realized where I was going. Master Marcus Kaavi and his apprentice, Eryck S'val – Jaythen's best friend – had met us here on their way home from a three week trip that left them exhausted. Despite their weary condition though, their dedication to helping me find my apprentice was intense. I silently thanked them all for their presence, but could not take my attention from my main concern now lying before me.

His eyes, those emerald green eyes usually filled with such joy and curiosity, fluttered in a pain-filled and troublesome sleep. Gently I tried to touch his mind. Our bond was strong. Our ability to communicate without words – with telepathy - rare in the Jedi Order, had become central to our relationship.

I reached. There was nothing there. I couldn't feel our bond. I couldn't even feel the force surrounding him. Then I heard Qui-Gon say something about a force blocking collar around his neck. The ugly piece of steel circled, allowing barely enough room for Jaythen to swallow. I pushed my anger down at the thought of what this collar meant, blocking him from everything he knew. Blocking him from me. But I couldn't focus enough to break the damn thing. Then, gentle hands fell on my shoulders. Qui-Gon on one side. Marcus on the other. They combined their power to focus on the weakest point of the collar. I found enough of myself to join the attempt, and after several agonizing minutes, it broke and fell away. Jaythen whimpered when the heavy object fell and landed on his arm. A simple human sound had never been so gratifying. At least I knew he was conscious of something, even if that something was pain.

Qui-Gon carefully lifted the piece of metal away from Jaythen and added it to the items to be used as evidence once we found the perpetrators of this crime. A scar of bruises surrounded my padawan's neck.

I tried to examine Jaythen without touching him, afraid of causing any additional pain. Eryck, a half year older than his best friend, shed his robe and offered it to me so that I could drape it over the battered naked body, at least providing a bit of dignity for my padawan.

How much time passed as I knelt next to him, I don't know. Eventually Marcus came to my side and spoke quietly. "It's not safe here, T'narr. We must leave. Can you manage him?"

Physically, this was not a problem. Emotionally though, I didn't know if I could manage any of this. But I owed it to Jaythen. If I held any blame for him being here, I would make sure that I was the one to carry him out. I leaned forward, placing one arm under his back and the other under his knees. He cried out suddenly, startling me. Marcus was there to steady him in my arms and to drape the sliding robe over him again. Then he fell to the back of our march from the basement. Qui-Gon led the way. Obi-Wan and Eryck sticking close to me on either side. Marcus brought up the rear guard. All hands ready at the saber hilt. We were as protected as we could be. The transport wasn't far.

It terrified me to feel how light Jaythen was. He never carried a lot of weight as a healthy nine year old. But now…my thoughts stopped and drifted. Jaythen wasn't a nine year old anymore. His birthday had been a month ago. He'd spent one of most important days of his year in this…place. This rotten filthy place where he'd been subjected to unthinkable actions. I needed desperately to get out of this dungeon and off this rotted planet. So I walked faster, the others sensing my urgency to get myself and my apprentice into the daylight and cleaner air.

The sun blasted us once we stepped outside. Jaythen whined pitifully in my arms, squeezing his already closed eyes even tighter at the intruding daylight. Obi-Wan on my left noticed the reaction immediately and used the hood on the borrowed robe to cover Jaythen's face. It offered relief and I felt Jaythen's increased tension ease slightly. Meanwhile, Qui-Gon was moving us swiftly, now into the shadows, closing in on our transport. The small ship was undisturbed as we ascended up the ramp.

A part of me wanted to cry at the relief I felt as the engine started and lifted us from the planet. Several tears did escape, but I paid them no mind. The transport wasn't a large one, but it did have a room designated for rest or medical care. And we'd stocked it full of supplies before leaving Coruscant, not knowing what we would find at the completion of our search for Jaythen.

Marcus kept Obi-Wan and Eryck busy with piloting us home, keeping a keen eye on the sensors, watching for any who may have tracked us from the planet. Qui-Gon came to help me with Jaythen. There was small bed in the room. I set Jaythen down carefully, his protesting whimpers paining my heart. I began to think that this was the reason I had never taken an apprentice. This was the why I'd never wanted the responsibility. But those were unhealthy thoughts. I loved Jaythen as a son. I would never regret my choice of training and raising him, even now. Focusing on the present was what I needed to do, so when Qui-Gon's touch to my shoulder shook me back to the now, I nodded him thanks.

We had no pursuers on our trip home. The other two padawans did everything in their power to make certain that the journey was smooth. I would tell them later how much their efforts were appreciated. Now though was not the time. The brightness of the room hurt Jaythen. His whimpers became more pronounced, turning into cries of pain once Qui-Gon and I tried to determine the extent of his injuries. The lights now dimmed, it was difficult to see where any blood was coming from or how deep any cuts and contusions ran. We managed though. Slowly. The healers would bathe him completely, but I needed to clean him up. I couldn't bear to have my padawan as he was. He'd never done anything in his young life to deserve the condition he was in. So as carefully as I could, I took soft rags, dipped them in the non abrasive warm soapy gel that Qui-Gon had mixed and carefully stroked some of the caked dirt and blood from his face.

I had to leave the room at one point. Tracing the knife marks across his arms, seeing how they concentrated on the painted green feather on his right forearm. The marking that he'd gotten on our first trip to my home, Kembar Lune, was so important to him. He represented his growth. It represented us. Our bond. And now it was scarred with blood and grime. Whoever had assaulted him had physically scraped off part of the green paint with a knife, tearing away bits of his skin within the feather outline. My stomach churned and I walked away.

Facing the wall, my head leaning forward against it, I squeezed my eyes open and closed, trying to battle the emotions. I wouldn't do Jaythen any good if I fell apart. Qui-Gon knew that too, and stood softly in the doorway. "It's difficult, T'narr. But you must do this. These moments immediately after are the most important. Jaythen needs to know that he is safe. And the only place that makes him feel safe is with you. Let's finish cleaning him the best we can. We'll be home in a day. I'll stay and help you."

I couldn't bring myself to speak, but nodded and followed Qui-Gon back to Jaythen's bedside. Then I began again the gentle cleaning. Briefly I thought about using the force to settle him when the pain of my actions became too great. Again Qui-Gon rescued me from those thoughts. There was no way to tell what shape Jaythen's mind was in after having to wear that collar for the past two months. My entry into his head might break his already fragile state. So I worked around his discomfort, around my own emotional anguish and finished the task of cleaning up my battered apprentice. It was the most difficult task I had ever done in my life.

He looked better when we'd finished. That wasn't saying much though. The intense bruising covering his body and around his neck was more evident now, no longer hidden under the blood and dirt. Blacks and purples, yellows and browns. So many stained colors on such a small body.

"We need something for him to wear," I said blankly. "He can't go home like this. And Eryck should have his robe back once it's cleaned. We brought something for him to wear, right?"

Qui-Gon looked towards another bag that we'd brought. He pulled out a soft lightweight pair of sleep pants. "This will be excruciating for him when we pick his legs up and put these on him, but it might also subconsciously make him feel a bit safer. Sometimes something as simple as a familiar fabric can help the initial stages of emotional trauma."

We said nothing else and went to the task. I prepared myself for Jaythen's reaction. It was severe. The cries that had been whimpers now elevated into screams, continuing until we'd slipped the pants to his waist. When he finally settled, his eyes were open. For the first time in two months, I was seeing those familiar green eyes again. Now though they were dulled by his condition and filled with only fear, pain, and a sadness that I'd never seen in anyone. He looked at me, slowly blinking, working hard to keep his eyes from closing. I knew I had only seconds to try and get him to see me - to see that he was safe.

"Padawan. Jaythen." A hint of recognition in his dull eyes gave me hope. "Yes, Padawan. I'm here. It's all right now." I stroked his hair. "You're safe with me. I'll look after you now. They can't hurt you anymore." My own tears started when a single droplet of water slid from Jaythen's eyes. It didn't matter though. Jaythen had to see that I was here, and that I would be here until however long his recovery lasted. He needed to see that I loved him and had come for him. His face contorted with pain and emotionally he was done. He knew who I was. He knew I'd come for him. He knew he'd be safe in my care. He knew I still loved him. I stopped stroking his hair and moved my hand to the side of his face. His awareness brought with it an intense shaking, and his arms and legs began to shiver with cold. Despite that, he leaned his head into my hand in an almost nuzzling motion. Then he closed his eyes and drifted again into his semi-conscious world.

Qui-Gon smiled gently towards me. "He knows."

"That makes me feel a little better, even when I know what's ahead."

"There's little more we can do for him until we land on Corsuscant."

"I just want to sit with him." I suddenly felt this need to be alone with my apprentice. "Qui-Gon…"

To my surprise, my friend raise his hand and gave a knowing nod, almost as if he'd read my mind. Or perhaps he'd been here before, in this situation with Obi-Wan. He said there was no need to explain, that he understood. Then with a comforting hand on my shoulder, he left the room.

Jaythen didn't wake again on our journey home. I found I could either treat that as a positive sign or a negative sign. I did neither. Sitting with him, talking to him, stroking his face - was all I could do. At times I found myself floating in my own semi-conscious state, somewhere that I could only describe as a light dozing rest. It made time drag. But eventually we did set down on a landing pad on Coruscant. Several healers were waiting for us, as well as Master Yoda. It surprised me a council member there, but it was the least of my concerns. Only Jaythen mattered.

I felt helpless watching my padawan wake and gasp in pain as he was moved by the healers to a floating stretcher. Thankfully the cries stopped when he was set down. I told Healer Terran Va'lor all I could. Gave him as much information about his condition and the condition of the area we found him in. They would know what to do. I trusted Terran. He knew Jaythen well. He cared about him. I knew he was in safe hands. But when we arrived at the hospital, the healer blocked my path. I could follow no further.

"Let us look him over and run some simple tests. We need a starting point. He'll be sedated as soon as we can determine that it's safe. I know you need to be with him, T'narr, but give us this time to get him started. I promise you that I'll be careful with him and that he'll be safe with me. Take some time to get cleaned up, eat something. I'll com you soon." I stared directly into the man's gray eyes, finding what I sought. Jaythen was protected in his care. I would leave him in the trusted hands of the most trusted healer.

It was no surprise when Qui-Gon took my arm and escorted me away from the hospital. He left me at my quarters. "If you need anything, you let me know. Marcus says the same. We don't want to intrude, but know that we're here."

I hadn't said much to Qui-Gon, or any of the others since we'd found Jaythen. But I needed to let them know how much I owed them for their dedication to helping me find my apprentice. To my surprise, I reached out and wrapped my arms around my fellow Master Jedi. A few seconds of comfort. A few seconds to thank him. "I'm indebted to you and the others, Qui-Gon. Thank you." A tear tracked down my face. I didn't care. Then I pulled away. "I mean it. Thank you. You and Obi-Wan. And if you see Marcus and Eryck, please tell them. I will speak to them in time, but at the moment…"

"Don't concern yourself with that, T'narr. Look after yourself so you can look after Jaythen. I'll see you tomorrow sometime." And with that he left. I fell into my apartment and into a much needed hot shower. The blood and dirt that had covered Jaythen's body coated my hands. It felt a relief to wash it away.

To his word, Terran called for me a couple hours later. It was late in the evening. Time though was the last thing on my mind. He escorted me to the rear hall of the hospital, the end room. It was the quietest and least traveled area in the hospital. Jaythen's recovery would begin here. It seemed right. And as Terran talked to me about the injuries suffered and the abuse inflicted on the small ten year old boy that I held so dear, I battled my anger internally. It hadn't yet been decided if a security team would be sent to that horrible planet to hunt for those that did this, but I would lobby the council to make sure that something was done. This type of crime couldn't be left unpunished. Not after what they did to…

"T'narr, stop it." The healer tapped me in the chest to snap me back to the present. "The boy in this room is your concern. There is no other." We stopped at the doorway to Jaythen's dimly lit room. I felt foolish for letting anger dictate my thoughts. I was better than that. Jaythen deserved better than that. Terran continued. "We've made him comfortable and started him on IV fluids. His body has been deprived of everything. It'll be sometime before he gains his weight and strength back. Our main concern for now is to let his body heal while getting him nourished. We'll adjust the pain medications as needed." He went on to explain the damage done to Jaythen's throat. The air and filth combining to create a bacterial mess that left his throat inflamed and swollen. His ability to talk, at least short term, would be affected. Then I wondered about his force sensitivity. I'd told Terran about the collar, and he was one of the few people who knew of Jaythen's remarkable telepathic ability, and the easy link the two of us had formed. Able to carry on lengthy conversations without uttering a single oral word. It was an ability rare in Jedi. An ability I never knew I had until Jaythen's mind had touched mine. Would we still be able to communicate that way?

"Until he regains some continuous consciousness, I don't know. I would advise against trying to reach him through the force. For now at least. That collar he had on, we're not yet sure exactly what it does. Disconnect him from the force, yes. But what did he feel when he tried to reach for it? We're looking into that. Actually, we're consulting with your old master about it. It's the type of thing that's in his field. Right now, T'narr, I just want you to sit with him. Be near him. Talk to him. You know his emotional needs more than anyone."

And I did. Jaythen was at times and emotional roller coaster. At least when working to move beyond his troubled past. This was one more thing added to his memories. One more thing that would cause him emotional pain long after the healing of the physical.

I took a deep breath. Content that Terran was in charge of Jaythen's care and that my former master – Kaai Dajani, a man that I respected above all other -, was also involved, I settled at my learner's bedside. I was hopeful that he would wake again, but he didn't. Not for three days. The combination of his exhausted body, the drugs, and the sudden comfort of sleeping on something other than a filth covered cement floor, lulled Jaythen into a coma-like sleep that held him securely as his body took in the rest and nourishment it had been denied for so long.

On that third day, seeing those eyes again, even as dull as they still were, warmed my heart. They found me instantly and the bruised face attempted to form a smile. It wasn't really successful, but I could see the effort it took for Jaythen to try. I talked to him. He made odd movements with his mouth and tongue. Terran said it was because his mouth was so dry. A cup of small ice chips was placed in my hand with instructions to feed no more than half a spoonful to Jaythen at a time. Ever so careful to protect his throat while it healed. I could tell that my padawan was happy to have the ice as he tried to stick his tongue out for more. "Not too much, Jaythen. We have to go slow." His eyebrows frowned at me, and I couldn't help but laugh a little. "You'll get more. We have to go by what Healer Terran says though. He's the boss around the hospital, right?" He tilted his head to the side, giving in. At least, he seemed to know he was home, not attempting to question what I meant when I used Terran's name and title.

Jaythen squirmed, trying to move his lower half. He made several grunting sounds and tried to get me follow his eyes. This was the most difficult form of communication, but I figured out what he meant. He felt an urge and had to go. I had to smile. "You're hooked to a catheter, Padawan. So, there is no need for you to get up and move to the bathroom. You won't have an accident." He looked puzzled. "Don't fight the urge, it's all right. These healers know what they're doing." A moment later the look of relief that flooded his face was enough to make me laugh again. "Feel better?" His tired eyes told me yes and he fought against the feeling coming over him. "It's all right to sleep again. I'll be here when you wake up. You can have more ice next time. Close your eyes." I put a hand on his forehead, careful to not seek the force, as I would have done in the past. This time I stroked his hair until his breathing relaxed and he gave into the pain medications that were being fed through his IV.

~*~

I didn't know what to expect the next day. Yoda wanted to meet with those of us who had found Jaythen. And he included Terran and Master Kaai as well. It felt good to see my old master again. I'd seen him many times since I took Jaythen as an apprentice. Former master and current padawan had meshed from the beginning and always looked forward to seeing the other. My master, beyond pleased – and relieved - that I had finally accepted a learner of my own. I'd shared Jaythen's emotional troubles with him, knowing anything I told him would be held in strict confidence. Master Kaai was older now, settling in on the ripe age of one hundred standard years. But his race, as with mine, were longer lived than humans and he still had many solid years ahead of him, though his long hair – falling freely past his shoulder blades - had turned almost completely gray, moving towards white. The gray of course, completely my fault, as all padawans of gray masters can attest. He's a tall man, a head taller than me even, but thinly built. His pale skin evidence of his people's city living heritage. The beard kept for so many years – also gray - is trimmed close. But it's his eyes that grab. The darkest of blues - each centered by an iris of sable. Many a planetary leader found it difficult to meet him eye to eye, for the knowingness behind the caliginous blue. To me though, those eyes were always oddly comforting.

He held forward the collar that we'd pried off Jaythen. The accented but strong voice easily getting the attention of those of us gathered in Terran's office. "It works simply enough, blocks a force user from using and feeling the force. But it seems to be able to anticipate when that user is going to try, and counters immediately with a shock to the throat. The user probably learns quickly that they shouldn't reach. It appears that the shock then runs through the entire body. The end result being deep bruising of the muscles and nerves. It's a device beyond cruel, especially when used on a child. The inventor of this contraption should be shot." I saw Obi-Wan and Eryck flinch at the words coming from the mouth of a Master Jedi, but the rest of us, we held no surprise at Kaai's words. It was his way.

And we all agreed with him.

Terran rubbed his hands to his temple. "Makes for a more difficult recovery. Jaythen won't want to use the force to aid him in relief from pain, or for meditation. He'll be terrified. I make his other healers aware, so we all stay on the same page with his treatment. Thank you, Kaai. Any thing else that you or your team can determine from this thing, please let me know."

"We will find something, Terran. I promise that to my former padawan and to his boy." Kaai smiled sadly at me, but I knew there could be no one better suited for this task. I sent a tug through our bond. A bond that still thrived so many years after my Knighting. I missed Jaythen's touch to my mind more than ever at that moment. I wondered if I'd ever been able to feel that warming touch ever again.

The meeting progressed. Each Jedi telling what they knew. What they noticed about the area where we found Jaythen. Yoda watched the process in silence. Sometimes nodding. Sometimes frowning. At the end of the session he excused everyone except Terran and myself.

"Not broken, your padawan is. But difficult this will be for him. Decisions he will make when able to he is. His choice it will be. No other. Master T'narr, on leave of absence you are from field duty until further notice. Padawan Talari needs you he does. Concerns you may have for the council, bring them to me alone you will." He hobbled out of the room, leaving Terran and I somewhat perplexed, until it hit me a few minute later. I knew what Yoda had meant about decisions.

"Yoda knows that this event will cause Jaythen to question staying with the Jedi. He's questioned it before. We've talked about it. He's never been completely certain that being a Jedi is his calling. He's not had the easiest childhood, and being a Jedi seems to have brought all of this on him. When we were on Kembar Lune, he talked about living there, and how much he would enjoy it if he did. I think if I had told him at the time that we were never returning to Coruscant, he would have been the happiest boy in the universe. And this would have never happened to him." I paused to push the bubbling anger down. "I guess Yoda sees a decision in his future. One that I'm not allowed to influence."

"But you will influence it, just by your presence. He'll follow you anywhere, T'narr. You know that. Even if it means staying with the Jedi when his mind and body are trying to push away from the Order."

I sighed. I couldn't argue with Terran. He was right.

"T'narr, any decision like that is a ways off. Let's worry about it when it happens. Our concern right now is a scarred and terrified ten year old boy. Forget that he's a Jedi. He's a boy that's been through a horrifying event. Worry about Yoda's future predictions later. Come on, I'm due for my rounds. We'll stop in on Jaythen first."

Jaythen was awake again. He saw me and immediately tried another of those painful smiles. Then he made those familiar sticky tongue noises. A request for ice. Terran gave me the go ahead, checked his vitals, IV, catheter and the like, then left to see his other patients. I spent the next hour slowly spoon feeding my apprentice crushed ice. I got the feeling that the ice was like a pala cream cake right about now. Since it didn't seem to bother his throat, I'd been given permission to offer him as much as he wanted.

~*~

Tbc…


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

~*~

Terran kept Jaythen sedated at night. Bad dreams were becoming a problem in the week since we'd been home. The sedation helped counter that, keeping him deep enough that the dreams couldn't surface. It also gave me a chance to rest and relax, knowing that my padawan's nights would be calm. I spent my days in the hospital - my nights in my apartment. Qui-Gon and Marcus made efforts to regularly check on me, and they knew not to overstay their welcome. Sometimes I just needed to be alone with Jaythen or alone with myself. The sleep he was afforded at night gave him more strength to stay wake longer during daylight hours. Terran had started increasing the light in the room every two days, allowing his sensitive eyes to adjust gradually. Occasionally, he wasn't prepared for an increase, and the healer would back off. Two steps forward. One step back. Wasn't that always the case with difficult recoveries?

Jaythen was becoming frustrated with not being able to speak, often grunting or using his facial expressions to communicate with me. We'd worked out a system. Not that there was much he could do, still unable to move without incredible pain, thus remaining confined to the bed. His left arm – his damaged arm – had taken more abuse than the good arm. However what little chance there had been for that left arm to ever be much use again, was about gone now. Terran said they could try multiple surgeries, but held no hope that Jaythen would ever have two fully functional arms and hands again. But Jaythen had come to terms with that long ago, this trauma would cement the issue, but he would handle it. I was more worried about his legs. Miraculously there had been no broken bones. Atrophy was the concern, thus leading to the beginning of physical therapy. The pain would be intense, though necessary. Jaythen understood that and knew we were trying to help him, but that was the day that another problem surfaced.

Flinching away from touch. Jaythen didn't want to be touched. By anyone. He'd let me hold his hand, but nothing more. It was an ordeal when a healer tried to touch him. Body tensed, he shook all over. Eyes went wide with fear. He tried his best to move away from the touch, without much success. Then he'd cry or whine when he felt that foreign hand. The reaction wasn't all that unexpected as was the delay in the beginning of the reaction. He'd been out of captivity for nine days now. I didn't understand why he hadn't reacted that way initially.

Terran explained. "It's not all that uncommon. Actually I'm relieved in a way. If he didn't react like this at all, I'd be more concerned. But the delay, victims of this type of abuse react differently. And most of it flows with the how and the way they were abused. The positive sign is that he'll still accept your hand. That's what we'll work from. His battered mind trusts you. It trusts nothing else at the moment."

"But the therapy has to start. How will that work?"

"It's going to be your job to get him to accept someone touching his legs and feet and moving them. It'll be a little ugly at first, but he doesn't have the strength to resist for long. It's vital though that he maintains that trust with you. Tell him only the truth about what will happen. Don't skirt around anything. And for the first couple sessions, you tell him that he has control over how long the session will last. It'll give him some control over the situation. When he says stop, it'll stop. Where we win, is that there won't just be one or 2 sessions a day. They'll be many. He'll adapt to the situation quicker that way and the more he moves those muscles, the faster they'll begin to heal, although the pain will be considerable. It's all a balancing act and you are the key player. Don't give him reason not to trust you."

I could do this. And the plan made sense. There was only one way to find out if it would work.

Terran and I entered the hospital room together. He was awake, so I explained what was going to happen. His eyes showed the anxiety, but he nodded to let me know he would try. I took his right hand in mine, relieved that he showed no signs of pulling away. Terran motioned for his fellow healer to step in. She was slim, her build average. The long blonde hair was pulled back in a single braid. I thought her to be human at first until I saw her webbed hands. She was introduced to us. "Master T'narr Kresson and Padawan Jaythen Talari, I would like you to meet Healer Saavik, one of our best physical therapy healers. I think you will find that she…" He stopped talking when he saw Jaythen's immediate reaction. Pure terror. His head shaking back and forth violently. His breathing coming in gasps. His entire body tensing. And worst of all the heartbreaking sounds that he was making as the tears flooded his green eyes. No one had been expecting that dramatic a reaction. Terran immediately sent Saavik from the room. Moments later, Jaythen began to calm, reassured by my hand still holding his.

"Um, Terran?"

The master healer was as confused as I'd ever seen him. "That was not what I expected. He's never reacted that intensely to a new healer coming in here."

Jaythen tightened his grip on my hand to get my attention. His eyes went to the door and back. He wanted to say something about Healer Saavik. I thought about trying to send him a thought, but Terran was on that quick when he saw my concentration.

"Don't, T'narr. He's not ready for that. Try and get him to explain with his face and hands if he can."

That wasn't necessary as Jaythen gathered up what strength he had, looked again to the door, then forced four excruciating and raspy words from his battered throat. "She hurt…me…prison."

Shaking his head, Terran indicated that wasn't possible.

"No, Padawan. Saavik works here at the temple. She's a healer. Why would you think she hurt you?"

Jaythen managed the word 'hair' then squeezed my hand again to indicate hair and hands. "The person who hurt you had hair and hands like Healer Saavik?" He nodded his head fiercely. I turned to Terran. "Someone of her race maybe? If the long blonde hair and webbed fingers are common her people, maybe…"

The gray-haired healer hurried from the room to find out more about Saavik's people. I refocused on Jaythen, encouraging him to take in more ice chips and even sip on some water. The effort to talk had been massive and the liquid hurt to go down. I didn't try to get him to talk again. Instead I sat quietly while sleep began its descent. His hand held securely to mine.

What was discovered after talking to Saavik was that her look was her people. The Valama people. All women on her home world carried the long light-colored hair. All had webbed fingers and thin, average builds.

"So, a woman did this to Jaythen?"

"If his recall is correct. And his reaction would leave me to believe that it was. He reacted instantly. No hesitation. Perhaps he was taken by a group and she was the one he remembers best, that look is very distinctive. But it'll give us something for the council. If they consider sending a security team, they'll have something to go on. I will let them know. I want you to stay away from that part of things."

I didn't plan on arguing with him but the thought that a woman may have committed these acts on a boy. It churned my stomach. "What about his physical therapy, do you have another healer to help him?"

"Yes. Saavik is the best, but I can't force him to that even though she is one of us. I'll assign her to another patient. We'll start therapy tomorrow. I don't want to push too hard too soon after this ordeal."

Of course, I agreed and decided to take advantage of Jaythen's exhaustion, stealing away for some lunch in the dining hall. I felt the need for company so when I stumbled on Marcus and Eryck, I asked if I could join them. Marcus' natural jovial nature had been subdued around me since Jaythen's abduction and finding. But he was creeping back to his old self. It felt good to be around such happiness at the moment. I needed it. One of his four large blue hands pounded me on the back as I sat down, almost spilling my food. His apprentice laughed politely, then laughed harder when another of the blue hands wrapped around the boy's head and over his mouth. What a pair they were. Perfect for each other. I had no choice but to smile in return.

Marcus welcomed me with his usual opening line. "What brings ya here, my friend?" Almost everyone was a friend of Marcus, so almost everyone got the same greeting.

"Taking advantage of some quiet time. My stomach has been rumbling all morning."

"Ya should eat more often then." A wink, then he turned more somber. "How's ya boy doin'?"

"It's slow. We had an issue this morning with the physical therapy healer, but may have discovered what one of his attackers looked like." I went on to explain the details. Marcus didn't appear surprised at the revelation that the villain may be a woman.

"Those Valama women are crazy, T'narr. Few, like Healer Saavik break from that. But they're all nuts on that planet. Nothing they do is gonna surprise me."

One thing I always loved about Marcus, even before I had gotten to know him better – since taking Jaythen as an apprentice – he tells you like it is. If he feels it, he tells you. He was unique, but had become a very good friend in these last couple of years. His padawan, Eryck, was a little less outgoing, but was quickly learning the ways of his master. He was an acquaintance of Jaythen when they were younger, though never finding a solid friendship until after Jaythen had become my apprentice. Now they were close friends and I was extremely glad that Jaythen finally found a boy his own age to connect with. They had a lot in common, but shared differences too. The relationship worked and it was healthy for the both of them.

Glancing across the table at me, he asked, "Master T'narr, would it be okay if I came to see Jaythen? Master Marcus told me it would be best to stay away for a while after we got home, but would now be all right?"

I tried to gauge whether Jaythen would be happy, nervous or perhaps even embarrassed about seeing his friend. In the end I decided it was a good idea. "Come by this evening before dinner if you can. I don't know what his reaction will be, but it'll be good for him to know that his friends are wondering about him. He can't talk much - a few words at a time maybe. And don't try and touch him through the force. We haven't attempted that yet." Eryck nodded, and I could feel his happiness at being allowed to see his best friend. I moved back to my food and we kept conversation light through the remainder of the meal. My comlink. It chirped as I swallowed the last forkful. Perfect timing. It was the hospital. Jaythen was awake and looking for me. Excusing myself, I dropped my plate off on the return stack and quickened my pace.

Jaythen looked better. The nap had obviously done its job. His right hand sat atop the blanket on his chest. He waved a finger to call me over. "Sleep well?" A nod. "You called for me?"

A little throat clearing and he croaked out a bare whisper. "Scared."

Lunch completely forgotten, I worried. "It's all right to be scared. It's safe here though."

"That…lady."

"Healer Saavik?" He nodded and I continued. "She's a Jedi. It's possible another of her race hurt you, but she didn't. Trust me, okay?"

With some effort, he slowly lifted his hand and tapped his heart two times. That gesture I knew. It was one my mother so often used. Jaythen must have picked it up from her in our visits there. It means 'always.' I returned the gesture and sat down bedside. Immediately he reached for my hand. I tried to take my other hand and brush it through his hair, but he drew back slightly. Immediately he apologized by lowering his eyes and dropping his chin. "No need to be sorry. I know you've been through a lot. It'll take some time for you to trust anyone completely."

He shook his head sternly and whispered, "Trust you. Always." He said the words, but I suspect his mind betrayed those words. But I tried again, moving my hand upwards. This time with a visually determined effort, Jaythen managed not to pull away. He grinned at his accomplishment.

"You make me smile, Padawan. Oh, I saw Eryck today. He'll be by to see you later. He's been worried, but didn't want to be a bother. I told him it was okay." Jaythen agreed looking almost pleased at the mention of his friend. A good sign. "And I spoke to Obi-Wan yesterday. He was in to see you a couple days ago, but you were sleeping. He'll get by again." I held back the information that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had, just today, been put in charge of the investigation into his abduction and torture. The council deciding that the crime would not go unpunished assuming the perpetrators could be located. "And what else? I guess…I think that's all. Oh, Dex has offered to treat you to whatever meal you want when you're ready to visit his diner. He said he'll make anything, just let him know."

The mention of food got Jaythen's attention. "Hungry." He gave a disgusted look at the liquid nourishment being plugged into his body.

"Not too satisfying, is it? I'll ask Terran about food. He's been trying to let your throat heal, but if you're able to whisper some without too much discomfort?" Thumbs up to that one. "Maybe you're ready for some soft food."

I discussed with Terran and he agreed to let Jaythen start on some chilled fruit sauces and flavored nutrient shakes. It wasn't the most satisfying meal, but it beat chewing on crushed ice. We all had to go easy, at least until my apprentice was able to get out of bed and into a bathroom.

Jaythen's reaction at the nutrient shake wasn't so joyous, but the fruit sauces were tasty enough. Tens of flavors to pick from and then mixing them, as he had me do, to form more flavors. "Master Valree. Showed me. Mix up." He's beloved crèche teacher, Master Valree, had shown him how to mix the flavors to get better ones, it seemed. He still craved those memories of her, despite her having passed into the force several years ago. The grieving process included a lot of blame, but mostly he just missed her. She was everything to him. Then she died in a fire and he couldn't save her. I didn't miss the stray tear that streaked his face. Thoughts of her always brought a few tears. I sidetracked him before he could get more upset. "What flavor is this that I'm mixing for you now? Pacaberry and some green melon stuff. This looks disgusting, Jaythen. It's all brown. How can you eat this?" He licked his lips then motioned for me to try it. "I don't think so. It doesn't look or smell appetizing. Here." I spooned some into his mouth and watched him swallow with a contented smile. I just shook my head. "Kids today are so very strange. Take the spoon with your right hand. Let's get something moving here."

Eating was always good therapy, and while he was happy, I figured we should see if he could manage a utensil. The effort was there. The balance - not so much. He dumped a spoonful on the blanket. "Oh well, it needed washing anyway. Try again. I'll help you get your fingers around it." Two months of muscles and nerves being abused made for a tough transition back to getting your hand and fingers to work correctly. The second spoonful was wobbly, but we managed to lift it to it's destination with some effort. "There you go! Good job, Padawan." He beamed at the praise. Another try. Another shaky but successful effort. By the time we got to the last spoonful, he finally managed on his own. "I knew you had it in you. That's all for now. Let that settle. Feel better on your throat?"

"Soft."

"Good. Now, this is what I want you to do with your right hand. Take this," I handed him a soft children's toy, "and squeeze it. Release it. Squeeze it again. It'll rebound when you let go. It'll help your hand get stronger. Practice squeezing and lifting it up and around. It's not heavy, and if you drop it, it won't hurt if it falls on you. My mother used to use this with my brother to help him maintain some strength those last couple of years. Well, she didn't use a toy, but it's the same idea. You can try it in your other hand too. I know there's not much left in that hand, but it won't hurt to try." To my surprise, he squeezed the toy as he would squeeze my hand. Hard. Released and then again, repeating the process several times. "Well done, Padawan. It won't be long before you are up and about. I know it."

"Legs hurt."

"Tomorrow. Terran is assigning a new physical therapy healer for you. I know you'll do well."

"No webbed lady."

"No, Saavik will work with other patients." The relief that came over his face was disconcerting. I could only imagine the types of abuse the woman, working alone, or with accomplishes, inflicted on my apprentice. The neglect and removal of most food and water was bad enough. I'd be happy if I never knew the detailed events that resulted in these injuries. But I saw positive signs. The Jaythen I knew, the apprentice that I loved as my own son, was in there and trying to get out. It was just a difficult road. But we'd manage.

~*~

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

~*~

The first day of therapy went as expected. It was wearisome. Jaythen knew he had control of the situation and when it became too much he could end the session. He tried so hard to not give in - probably wanting to make sure he didn't disappoint me. In the end, the pain won over. The longest session of the day was barely four minutes. But it was a start. It took several attempts to get him to allow the therapist to touch his bare legs. She was gentle but firm. Jaythen was more wary of her than scared. A much better reaction that the one he'd given the healer the day before. The exertion of the day wore him down and he fell into a deep sleep in the early evening. A few minutes later, Eryck came in.

Eryck was perhaps the most average looking padawan in the temple. There was nothing outwardly special about him. Brown hair, brown eyes. Normal height and build for his age. He was taller and more robust than Jaythen who tended to be on the small side. Physical appearance aside, he had a wicked ability with a light saber that was a little uncanny for a Jedi not yet eleven years old. Also in possession of a solid sense of humor, it made him a natural match for his master, Marcus Kaavi. And Eryck always had a smile. Which is why I felt so bad that he came by just at that moment. There was an object in his hand as he softly knocked on the door frame. I waved for him to come in.

"He had a long day with physical therapy and couldn't stay awake. He knew you were coming though, he tried. I'm sorry, Eryck."

The boy's eyes were kind and understanding. "That's okay, Master T'narr. It's important that he gets rest. He looks so much better than when we found him. I made this for him," he held up the small wooden object he'd come with, "It's a carving I did. He's told me about the animals on your home planet of Kembar Lune. I get a bit envious sometimes." A shy smile. "He always talks about his horse, Saber. I carved her."

Holding up the small sculpture, I was amazed by the detail and the accuracy. Obviously Eryck's remarkable talent wasn't just limited to swordplay. I held it for a moment, turning and admiring it. "Eryck, this is incredible. It's all the solid wood grain color, but it looks…no, it is her. You did that just from his descriptions?" He nodded. "Wonderful! Jaythen will treasure this, I know he will."

"If it makes him sad, it's not meant to. I know he loves her and misses her. Maybe this can help him in his recovery. When he gets well, he can go visit her again."

I put a hand on the boy's shoulder and handed the carving back to him. "A very thoughtful gift, Eryck. It'll mean the world that you did this for him."

"I'll put it on his nightstand on the other side of the bed." He set it next to the single flower that set in a metal vase. A request from my mother on Kembar Lune. I had sent her a message about what had happened. She asked that a single flower, specific in color and type, be placed at Jaythen's bedside. It would represent the Kresson family's love for him. Jaythen, as is his custom, had shed several tears over the thought. No matter how hard we – myself and the trauma healers - tried and worked on getting him to be a little less sensitive to some things, his emotions often got the best of him. It was just who he was. And maybe that was okay. I smiled at Eryck when he stepped back towards me.

"Thank you, Eryck. It means a lot that you care so much about Jaythen. He needs that. I'm sorry he's not awake. But you are welcome to drop by whenever. He's able to talk some now, whispering really. It's a good sign though." Eryck said he'd try to stop by tomorrow, time permitting. I suspect that Marcus would make a point to allow the boy a chance to visit his friend. I thanked him again and he was gone.

~*~

Eryck did make it by the next day, in the late morning. I offered them a bit of privacy, so I don't know what they talked about, but Jaythen's friend was patient knowing how difficult it was for him to talk. I waited outside the door and Eryck kept the visit short - fifteen minutes. He walked out, gave me a slight bow and thanked me for letting him visit. He seemed content. Jaythen was holding the small carving in his right hand, concentrating on his grip to prevent it from tumbling away. Tears filled his eyes. I got the sense that he was overwhelmed by the caring of his friend. Those weren't tears of sadness.

He held the carving most of the day, even during his physical therapy sessions, able to find some type of strength there. All in all, it was a good day.

The same couldn't be said about the night. And it was my fault.

Jaythen woke up in the throws of a nightmare. The first time that the bad dreams had penetrated the heavy pain medication during the evening hours. I couldn't calm him. On instinct I reached for the force, not thinking about the reaction, only about helping him. The moment my mind touched his, he repelled instantly, screaming as much as his hoarse throat would allow. Head thrashing back and forth, he pushed me away with such fear in his eyes that it terrified me. His arms and legs were moving erratically as his mind panicked at the intrusion. In his struggles he managed to rip out both an IV and the catheter resulting in wet messes on both the floor and the bed. I didn't know what to do as I realized exactly what I had done. I withdrew from his mind and blocked myself from the force completely as my padawan screamed in horror, water spilling from his eyes. When he wasn't screaming or crying out, his bit down so hard so that both his tongue and lips were bloodied.

I stood almost helpless, paying no mind to the tears tracking down my face and berating myself for acting before thinking.

Thankfully the healers were there less than a minute after the screaming began. They pushed me aside, one measuring a hypo full of something, which was quickly injected into Jaythen's arm. Another grabbed his legs and held them still while the drug took effect. The entire incident was over in moments, but I feared I had done everlasting damage to the boy's mind and recovery by relying on instinct instead of common sense. When Jaythen lay sleeping, the bed looking like a disaster area, I sat off in the corner as the healers finished. They completed their work without a word to me. I waited for Terran who had been called out of bed at this late hour. He'd been briefed on the situation, but he wasn't aware of what had caused it.

"This is on me, Terran. He woke up in a nightmare and on instinct I tried to calm him with the force. I didn't even think about it. It's just so natural with him. He flipped out when he felt it. And the other healers told you the rest. I did this. And now I don't know what damage I may have caused." I continued scolding myself and getting more upset in the process. Still sitting, I leaned over and put my head in my hands. I was done. The two months of searching for him, thinking he was dead, then finding him in such a state. And now the almost two weeks of slow tedious recovery. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Now it had all come to a head. Perhaps that exhaustion caused my thinking to blur for a split second and act without thinking. I offered no excuse though. I'd hurt my padawan. Unintentionally, yes. But it was me that caused this.

I was ready for Terran to lay me out for doing something so foolish. He didn't. And I should have known he wouldn't. That wasn't him. Instead, he stood next to me, a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "We will deal with this, T'narr. At some point we needed to find out how he would react to the force. At least now we know."

"I appreciate you trying to put a positive spin on this, but I may have scarred him deeper. He trusts me, Terran. Or he did. I broke that trust. And the one thing you told me, make sure I don't do anything to cause him to lose that trust in me. I listen well, don't I?"

"It was a natural reaction, T'narr. Your padawan is upset, you comfort him through the force. You can't suppress that completely, even in a situation like Jaythen's. The medicine will keep him sedated until late morning at least. When he wakes, we'll know if this has caused any additional damage. I want you do go home and rest. I'll give you a hypo if you want, a light sedative that'll take the edge off. Might be a good idea." I shook my head. "Okay, but I still want you home. I'll be around for the rest of the evening. I was due for late night duty this week anyway." He patted my shoulder and finished with, "Go home, T'narr."

I did. I didn't sleep. I showered and cleaned up, but each time I closed my eyes I saw the terrified eyes of my apprentice staring back at me. It was a long night.

~*~

I forced myself to the dining hall the next morning. Qui-Gon was there and spotted me. I wasn't in the mood for conversation, but I couldn't walk away from him either. He pointed to a table and said, "Sit."

We both placed our trays on the table. He took in my appearance. Bloodshot eyes and a disheartened expression. "You look like hell, T'narr." I didn't disagree. At least I'd had a shower. "I was by the hospital this morning. I'd wanted to see how things were going. Terran gave me a brief overview of what happened. Not wanting to invade your privacy, but he thought that someone outside the hospital needed to know. Someone you could talk to if needed."

I only shrugged, not really knowing what to say. He continued.

"You've probably heard the Obi-Wan and I are heading the security and investigation party. We leave tomorrow. We're taking extreme precaution. Five teams are being dispatched. Knights and some masters, but no padawans other than Obi-Wan. He's got enough experience, and is familiar with the area where we found Jaythen. I had asked Terran if there was any way to try and find out if Jaythen could recall anything about his abductors other than the one description. Perhaps how many he saw or familiar accents. That type of thing. But I'm thinking he shouldn't be pushed to remember those types of details after his setback yesterday. So, we'll go on what we know."

"Qui-Gon, I'm not sure how Jaythen is going to react to me when he wakes. But if he's still trusting of me, I'll see if he can remember any basic details. I won't push him any harder than that though. I can't. His emotional state before all of this was fragile enough in certain situations. This is compounded that. I'm sorry."

A shake of the head and a knowing smile, Qui-Gon said, "I understand. I know a lot of what you're feeling. I've been in the position of worrying sick about an apprentice. It's very difficult to accept and to watch them suffer. I promise you that we'll do our best to find who did this and bring them to justice."

I nodded. "A couple days ago I found myself almost regretting my decision to train an apprentice. That wasn't me thinking though. Jaythen…he means everything to me, Qui-Gon. I could never feel that way about him. He deserves much better. I don't know why it even entered my mind. Old thinking I suppose. I hate myself for thinking it though. And I hate myself for my mistake yesterday."

"He'll come around in time. This was a setback. Nothing more. I see how he looks at you. He's never trusted anyone more. That'll cut through his fear."

"I hope you're right."

We talked a bit more and I ate. I didn't taste much, but did finish a plateful. I felt a little better after a good meal and talking to a good friend.

My comlink chirped. It was the hospital.

~*~

Terran stopped me in the hall on my way to see Jaythen. He looked tired. "He woke about thirty minutes ago. Groggy, so it took time for him to refocus. He's been quiet, holding onto that carving that Eryck brought him. Not interested in any ice or fruit sauces. I've put a hold on his physical therapy for now but only for a short time. I think it might be a good idea to get him out of bed for a bit. I know the air of Coruscant isn't the cleanest in the galaxy, but it's a little stale being in the hospital all this time. Maybe you can convince to sit with you out on the hospital balcony."

"Maybe so."

The gray-haired healer patted me on the back and left me to my apprentice. I took a deep breath and walked to the last room at the end of the hall.

Jaythen was lying quietly, the horse carving setting on his blanket covered chest. In his right hand was the soft toy I had given him. He was squeezing and releasing it, exercising the muscles in his arm and hand. He'd remembered. That was my padawan. Once he learned something, he'd never forget that lesson."

I knocked on the door frame and smiled warmly. "Hi."

His face went from flat to heartbroken in a second. Tears formed and fell. He understood what had happened. I knew he still trusted me. My own tears formed and fell as I walked to his bedside. The death grip he took on my hand was surprising but oh so welcomed.

Before I could say anything, he took a breath and whispered, "M'sorry, Master. Scared me. Didn't mean to push away. Trust you always." And with that, I lost complete control of my emotions. As carefully as I could, I removed my hand from his, leaned slightly over him and placed my hands on either side of his face. I touched my temple to his. Our thing. It's how we connected when the physical touch was needed, but words were not. We cried together. I didn't even think about touching the force. That was a mistake I would not make again and pushed it from my thoughts.

Several minutes passed before either of us was ready to break our connection, but we finally did. I wiped my face and then pushed my learner's smaller tears aside. We wouldn't need to talk about yesterday. We'd already said what needed to be said – without words and without the assistance of the force. So we focused on today. I took his hand.

"How would you like to get out of that bed today?"

A very eager nod followed my question.

"We can sit on the balcony for a while. The hospital has a beautiful one."

"Tired of the bed. Want to move around." His voice was raspier than yesterday. Probably the screaming and cries had aggravated his throat again. "Want to go home."

"Well, I don't think Terran is quite ready to release you. But maybe if we make some big strides in your recovery the next few days, get your legs working again…I bet that'll convince him that you are able to go home. You'd be comfortable in your own bed with you own surroundings."

He agreed and I knew he'd do everything he could to help himself get better and back to the comforts of our apartment.

Trying to lift his head, he said, "Get up now?"

"We may need to disconnect a few things. You're all plugged in again after…" I almost brought up the events of the day before but caught myself. "I'll see what healer is on duty." Then I found Healer Attai. She'd been a constant since we arrived and Jaythen seemed relaxed enough with her. An older Jedi, probably several years from retirement, there were few better to deal with younger Jedi. We walked back to Jaythen together. "Padawan, you remember Healer Attai. She's going to get you disconnected so you can have some time out of bed." The silver-haired Healer Attai stepped bedside and gave a genuine motherly smile, hoping to put Jaythen at ease. "Try not to flinch when she touches you. It'll be quick. She just has to disconnect a couple areas. And her hands are much warmer than Terran's."

My brief bit of humor worked and Jaythen laughed, completely ignoring Attai's hands reaching over, around and under. "You're all set, Jaythen. We've a float chair right outside the door." She disappeared for a moment when returned with the chair.

Slowly we maneuvered a very pale and skinny Jedi apprentice out of the hospital bed. To his credit, Jaythen did everything he could not to cry out, but I knew it was painful. He drew a little blood on his already sore lip, biting down so hard. Ten minutes of struggling though and we got him sitting. The lady healer propped his feet up on the foot stand to steady his balance. "It's disorienting after being on your back for so long. If you feel a little dizzy, it's all right."

Jaythen not only felt dizzy, he felt nauseas. Attai, however in all her wisdom, had seen every type of circumstance there was as a Jedi healer. She was ready for anything. A small bucket type object was in front of Jaythen's face before he coughed up a load of bile. I think he was grateful that he'd refused his fruit sauces that morning.

When he finally held his head up, he was deathly pale. "Sorry," he said pitifully to the healer.

"Oh, no worries. That's normal. You're doing just fine, young man. Now you just sit here for a few minutes until you feel more like yourself. When you do, your master will push you along. I'll rinse the bin and have T'narr carry one just in case. Ah, and one more thing." Attai moved quickly and returned with a clean bin and a darker object in her hands. She held it up over her eyes, locking behind her ears. "Sun shades. I know you're still sensitive to light, you should wear these when you leave the room." Something I hadn't thought of. Jaythen was indeed very sensitive to light even these weeks later. We'd been gradually increasing the light in his hospital room, but once the brightness reached the halfway level, he wasn't able to handle more. It wasn't a huge concern and his eyes and mind would adjust to normal light in time, but this was a good solution to the problem for now. Attai gave her approval when I tried them on Jaythen, then left us to ourselves with instructions to com her if needed.

I sat in a chair next to Jaythen who was fighting the battle of his sudden meeting with verticalness. After a few minutes, he regained a bit of color and said he was ready to go. Sun shades in place. We moved slowly through the hospital hallways until we found the balcony. It was a large area and one of the few places in the temple with live plants. A small fountain trickled in the center of the platform. It had a garden like feel it. Another patient, an older Jedi was at the far end of the balcony. He too sat in a float chair, although not needing the accompaniment of another.

I pushed Jaythen to the opposite end so he wouldn't be wary of the other Jedi. The sun was ascending to its late morning position, and mercifully the brightest of its rays were blocked by the balcony's side wall. It was tolerable with the sun shades on. And though I couldn't see his eyes at the moment, I figured Jaythen was closing them and trying to relax into the sights and sounds of his Jedi home.

He cleared his throat, continuing to speak in a low raspy voice and keeping his sentences truncated - his throat still raw. "Wondered if I would see this again. So dark there. Cold. Scared." I said nothing. I sat on a bench next to his chair, on his good side, the right side. His hand set on his knee, palm up. His silent request for comfort. I held it snuggly. Without words, I encouraged him to talk. He did. In the process, he provided information that I knew would be helpful to Qui-Gon and the rest of the investigation team.

Jaythen let out a deep breath and continued. "That webbed lady. Took me. Locked in that place. So dark. Then that thing. My neck. Hurt so bad. Still hurts. Couldn't feel you." He stopped, taking his hand from mine to reach under the shades to wipe the moisture away. "Tried to be strong. They hurt me. The webbed lady. Guard. He hit me. Laughed."

I tried to prod him gently without pushing. "Was he tall?"

A nod.

"Do you remember what color his skin was?"

A shake of the head. "Felt weird. Rough. Like…" I saw the concentration on my padawan's half hidden face as he thought back to his time on Kembar Lune. "Pakus lizard."

"His skin felt like the skin on a pakus lizard from Kembar Lune?"

Another nod.

The Lizarians had skin like that. One of the few who did. And they were a race known for their violence and abusive ways, though usually towards their own people. "Was there anyone else you remember? Anyone else?"

"Another boy. Dead. Had that thing on his neck too."

I would remember to tell to Qui-Gon to look for another child. Perhaps there were loved ones somewhere wondering what happened to him. If so, they had the right to know.

"They took my saber. My belt. Lost my blue moon stone."

"The one I found on Kembar Lune and gave to you?"

A short nod and a loud intake of breath. Jaythen was trying to stop from crying again. He carried that small blue stone everywhere with him. Kept it secure in one of his belt pockets where it would be safe. My padawan treasured small gifts that others gave him. The moon stone. The carving from Eryck. A feather from my mother. He took such care of things that meant something. Now one of those treasured items was gone. It only added to the trauma of the last two months. Most padawans would have been distraught over losing their light saber. To Jaythen, that was only a passing mention. It held no truly special meaning for him.

"I'll let the investigation team know. They'll be returning to the planet to try and find who did this. If they find your belongings, perhaps the stone will be there."

"Sorry, Master. Should have done better."

Terran had said that he'd eventually start blaming himself for what happened. It was a natural thing with victims of this type of trauma. So, although I was prepared for it, it still upset me. I held his hand tightly, placing my other hand over the both of ours. "It's not your fault this happened, Jaythen. I know you would have tried your best to get away. I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner. The last two months have been so difficult worrying and wondering about you. I thought I'd lost you."

"Go back inside now? M'tired, Master."

Meaning his talking was done. I stood up and walked behind the chair, placing my hands on his shoulders carefully. Only the tiniest of flinches was noticeable. I bent my head down next to his. He toward me until the sides or our temples touched. He didn't trust himself to say anything else without falling apart. The solace was all that was needed.

~*~

I gave the information to Qui-Gon. The description of the guard. I also told him about the moon stone and the other boy that Jaythen had seen. The team would be off within hours. Obi-Wan dropped by that day before they departed. He'd brought Jaythen a small saucy dessert from Dex's Diner. Dex had made it especially for Jaythen when Obi-Wan had told him a very non-detailed version of the abduction. Obi-Wan had wanted to stay longer, but he was called to their ship earlier than expected, and hurried out after his goodbyes. Jaythen spooned into the dessert on his own, working very hard the last day to at least get that chore mastered. What he hadn't expected though was how quickly the liquid worked through him and into his bladder.

Terran had granted his request to keep the catheter off. Its discomfort increasing as Jaythen's body began to heal. And he'd warned the boy to alert someone when he felt an urge to go. This urge came too fast and by the time he got my attention, the bed sheet was soaked. His face twisted in worry and embarrassment, he told me what happened.

"Bed sheets are meant to be changed, Padawan. These things happen. It's hard to get used to doing something about the urge, when for the past two weeks you haven't had to worry about it. It's easy enough to clean up." The master healer walked in the room. "Right, Terran?"

"The bed was due for a changing anyway, and Jaythen due for a bath. This time in an actual tub. No more sponge baths for you, my young patient. I want to get you ready to go home in the next couple days."

Jaythen smiled despite his accident. It's what he'd been waiting to hear. Familiar surroundings would do him well. As we moved him off the bed and into a float chair, he did his best to not moan too much. Terran handed him the sun shades. "Put your shades on, it's bright in the hall. T'narr, round the corner to your right, last door on the left. The bath is ready. If you need help, just press the wall com."

The tub was one of many in the large water/bacta therapy room. Each was separated by a thick retractable wall curtain to allow each patient their privacy. We were sent by a young healer a separate room within the larger room. One with dimmable overhead lights. She instructed me to place the soiled hospital gown into the metal container at the head of the tub. A clean one was already waiting, along with several soft towels, soap, shampoo – everything anyone would need.

I lowered the lights to the correct level and removed the shades from his face. "Jaythen, do you think you can stand if I help you? Just for a moment. I can't get the wet gown off while you are sitting. I'll hold you up - just put your legs straight down. Ready?"

This would have been ten times easier if I could have used the force, but I wasn't going there again. Thankfully my apprentice is small and easy to move around. Still weighing next to nothing, I struggled not to gasp at the unsightly ribs showing when I got the gown off. To me that was more upsetting than the multicolored bruises covering his bare body. Even with Jaythen's rusty brown skin, the bruises were loud in their appearance.

"Good job, Padawan. I'll lift you into the tub now. It'll hurt." And it did. He cried out softly several times, and I was as gentle as I could be. The soapy water was an instant relief though. His breathing leveled out. His eyes closed.

"Feels good."

"I'm jealous. I never get this kind of treatment from the healers when I'm in the hospital."

Moments after setting in the tub, Jaythen was completely relaxed. I took the softest cloth from the nearby shelf and methodically began bathing the battered body. To his credit, Jaythen flinched only a few times, and mainly in sensitive areas. But everywhere needed to be cleaned after being bedridden for so long. Terran wouldn't have allowed me to this task otherwise. After cleaning him up, I drained and refilled the tub with another round of warm soapy water. Now he could just enjoy the feeling of a healing bath.

"How's it feel?" I said to him after a quiet while had passed.

"Body doesn't hurt."

"Water is a miraculous thing sometimes. A hot bath can almost always make someone feel better. Let me know when you're ready to get out."

"Never."

I stuttered a half laugh. It was nice to see that the Jaythen I'd come to know and love so much was still there. Buried under emotional and physical trauma, but still there.

"You stay as long as you wish. Although, keep in mind that Terran will probably be unhappy if you come out looking like a wrinkled troll."

"Not green."

"Thankfully."

He went quiet again. I think he actually fell asleep for a bit. When his eyes opened, he looked up and over at me. "Gotta go."

"Go…oh, go. Well, can you hold it for a few minutes while I get you dry?"

"Think so. Oh, no."

Too late.

"At least this time it was in the tub and not on the bed, right?" I smiled warmly at him so he knew that his lack of control wasn't a big deal. Perhaps a little embarrassing to him, but nothing to really worry about. "Let me drain the water, then we'll squirt you off with the nozzle here. Then get you into a warm towel."

Once he was out of the water, standing with my support in the tub, his body began shaking with chills. I warmed him up as quickly as I could. Two towels around him. One to quick-dry his dark hair. Then I put him back on the float chair, turned it towards me, and sat on a chair in front of him. "Better?"

His teeth chattered, but the chills had lessened. "Cold."

"We'll get back to the room. It's temperate controlled so we can warm it up in there. I'll put the new gown on you when we get back to your room."

The hospital bed waiting for Jaythen was clean and ready. An extra blanket had been added. Leave it to Terran to know what his patients needed from hour to hour. The healers allowed me to work with my padawan, giving him as much privacy as they could when it mattered most. I got clean gown on and was about to lift him into the bed, but a thought came to me.

"Jaythen before we get you into bed, do you want to try and use the bathroom? You don't really feel the urge to go until it's too late. Maybe we should try before an urge, especially since you're all clean."

He agreed and accepted my arm around him and under his armpits to walk him to the room's small bathroom. Slowly he moved his feet forward. The physical therapy had been working. There was little strength there, but there was movement and a good deal of control. I pulled up his gown and sat him down – then stepped just outside. "Let me know when you're done."

A moment later. "Master."

I poked my head into the bathroom. "You okay?"

"Hurts."

"When you go?"

"Yes. Can I get up now?"

I bent down and lifted him up and into my arms. I'd save him a painful trip back to bed. I noticed that the bed sheets had extra padding underneath where Jaythen's bottom would set, in case of another accident. Good idea. When he was all tucked in, I sat with him for a minute. "Has it hurt each time you've gone today?"

Nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, as he tends to do, then said, "Yes. It stings." He was worried now. The embarrassment of telling me was gone. Now he just wondered about the pain and wanted it to go away.

"It's okay. I'll let the healers know. You can tell me when something doesn't feel right, Padawan. Don't feel weird about telling me, or telling Terran. If anything feels different, or if anything hurts that didn't hurt before, you let us know, all right?" I pushed his un-padawan like hair off his forehead and rested a hand there. "I'll be right back."

~*~

Tbc…


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

~*~

Naturally, the master healer wasn't surprised about the urinating pain that Jaythen was having. The filth he'd been forced to live in probably caused the infection. He hadn't tested for it previously though, which he now knew was a mistake on his part. But it was a problem that was easily solved with a strong antibiotic drug to kill the infection in a few days.

"When do you think I can take him home?"

"I hope soon. I know you can handle him. But he's twenty-four hour care right now. And I'm worried that the pain medications I'm giving him a night aren't keeping him deep enough anymore to keep the nightmares away. I think that's our next big problem. His body is healing. He's taking in nourishment, albeit slowly. But since his stomach seems fine, we'll get him started on some real food this evening. He'll appreciate that. With the body healing, the memories of the trauma become more pronounced, because the physical pain isn't enough to side track the mind. And we both know the emotional difficulty Jaythen has."

"What about Risha and Arun's trauma team? Would he do well to talk to them about this?"

"Not at the moment. Most of them are off planet now anyway. No given return date. And we only had moderate success with that type of therapy before. He just…he is what he is. There may not be a way around it."

"Maybe I should take him away from here for a while."

"That's a possibility, but for now, no. I want him where I can keep an eye and have access to him. His recovery from this will possibly decide his future as a Jedi. Yoda has already expressed his concern about Jaythen's ability to return to full duty."

I felt angry. Only two weeks removed from one of the most traumatic things a child could experience, and the council was already writing him off?

Terran felt the change in my mood and placed a comforting hand on my arm. "I think that's the council speaking as a whole. I get the feeling that Yoda feels more for Jaythen than they do. Don't worry about any of that. We're not even close to thinking about returning him to full duty. Focus on one step at a time. Anything else and it'll take him backwards."

I knew he was right. So I found my center and relaxed. "I think I need to meditate. Throw some of this into the force. I'll wait until he's asleep to leave him though."

The gray-haired healer nodded his approval and sent me on my way.

~*~

I kept certain information to myself. No need for Jaythen to worry about the future anymore than I needed to. He did smile when I told him that dinner would be real food though. No more fruit sauces and ice chips. The food was light and bland, but it was a start. He had a solid appetite, having not eaten solid food in some time. I never asked him what rations he'd been allowed to eat while being held. I only knew it wasn't much. Enough to keep him alive. I was happy to see him so eager to eat. He even asked for more and was permitted another small meal and a cup of sweetened water.

"Now those things are going to go right through you. So the second you think you might have to go, you tell me."

"It'll still hurt."

"Let the medicine work. You've had one dose. It'll take some time to kill the infection. You just let me know."

"I will."

And he did. Sure enough, thirty minutes later he got my attention and we maneuvered our way to the bathroom. Now began the balance of knowing when was the best time for meals, since he'd have to be up shortly after. Obviously late night snacks were out of the question. But as long as he had nourishment going in, I was pleased. The sight of the emaciated body under the hospital gown was something I would never forget.

Once back in bed, he looked at me but said nothing. His eyes were so tired. After several moments, I finally asked, "You all right?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes." Green eyes not leaving my face.

It's a strange feeling when two people hold direct eye contact for longer than a few seconds.

For Jaythen, it was like he was afraid to look away. I nudged him again. "Jaythen?"

He blinked several times and let out another breath. Hoarse voice lowered to a bare whisper, he said, "Thank you for finding me, Master."

I touched his temple to mine once again, but I had no words.

The simple physical touch was enough and a short time later he slept.

~*~

Two months now. Two months since we'd found Jaythen and started his recovery. There were more positives than negatives, but the negatives were troubling.

The positive was that physically, Jaythen's recovery was going quite well. The sensitivity to light was lessened. Only full-fledged sunlight caused any issue. He'd gained part of his weight back, but needed another ten of fifteen pounds on him to really look like his old self. His right arm - his good arm - was showing very little signs of any muscle or nerve trauma. He had full and complete use of the right. The left, the arm he'd lost most use in during our trip to Kembar Lune a little less than two years ago, was unchanged. Not a surprise and he'd come to terms with that at the time it happened. Walking was still an exercise in stamina. His legs had been slower to respond to therapy and treatment, but he was able to get around on his own, albeit at a more moderate pace than before. The healers were confident that in another month's time, that too would work itself out. Until then, simple things like getting out of bed, rising from a chair or just being on his feet for an extended period, were taxing. Jaythen managed though. And he never complained.

Fortunately, he was now unlimited in his diet. He could have anything and everything he wanted. Jaythen being Jaythen however was never a big eater, and his appetite didn't always fit what we had for a meal. Sometimes I got the feeling that he was just humoring me and eating so I would stop staring at him. That was him. And I was grateful to have at least part of my padawan back to way he used to be.

The negative side of things were two-fold. The nightmares that continued. and his complete avoidance of the force. The thought of even touching it was enough to unsettle him for several hours. Terran had assigned himself to working with Jaythen. The trauma team that specialized in the mental and emotional side of things were still off-planet and unavailable to help. To be honest, I'm not certain they could have helped. Unless we could get Jaythen comfortable with at least thinking about touching the force, we were going nowhere fast. And both Terran and I suspected that the whole fear of the force issue had a lot to do with the nightmares that plagued his sleep. More than likely the fears were interconnected and the resolution of one would probably mean the resolution of the other. But how to go about finding a resolution for either matter – therein was the dilemma.

That dilemma was compounded by the attack on Jaythen's mind that night. A nightmare of such intensity that all I could do to bring calm was to take him in my arms and hold him until the worst was done.

He curled himself into my chest and held on for dear life. Mumbling eventually formed words and after a few minutes I realized what he was saying. He repeated it several times, through his apprehensive whimpers. Then all at once his halted his rocking motion and he lay completely still against me. When he spoke, his voice was coated in fear as he said, "I don't think I can be a Jedi anymore, Master. I can't. Hurts too much. I can't. Please don't make me."

Had I not known Jaythen, the words would have shocked me. But knowing him; knowing his sufferings; knowing his past… I continued to hold him close, promising him that I wouldn't force him to do anything against will, and that we would talk about it soon. I didn't know what to say really. It was a situation that I hoped would never present itself, despite subtle signs from Jaythen to the contrary since we first bonded as master and apprentice.

I remembered Yoda's words two months ago about Jaythen having to make a decision. I knew at the time what that decision would involve. But I hadn't thought more about it until now.

For the first time in my life – regardless of the situation - I had no idea what to do.

~*~

I woke up on the couch in the common area of our apartment. I wasn't sure how I'd gotten here from the bedroom to the couch, but Jaythen was next to me, tucked into my arm. His head against my chest. A gentle snoring was a peaceful and welcomed sound.

But then a not so peaceful feeling came over me. I had to use the bathroom. It required a few minutes of maneuvering to climb off the couch without jumbling my apprentice too much. Once in the bathroom, the mirror over the sink basin stared back at me and I saw myself for the first time since this whole thing started. The dark circles under my eyes were telling enough, but my face looked thinner. I'd lost that strong, formidable appearance that is part of my proud Noma heritage.

I found a new appreciation for what Jaythen was going through. If I looked and felt like this, his experience must be ten times worse.

I washed my face before finishing up and wandered into Jaythen's bedroom. The quilt I was looking for was in a bundle on the bed. I shook it out as I retreated to the common area again, draping it lightly over my padawan who was on his left side curled into himself.

An intense need to meditate came over me, but was wary about leaving him alone after such a troubling night. At this point though, it couldn't be helped. I _**needed**_ to get away. At least for a short time. My data pad was close. I typed in a quick message telling Jaythen where I would be should he wake and I left it on the table not a foot from his eyesight.. I also left my com on and placed his next to the data pad.

Precautions taken I hurried to the meditation gardens where it would be quiet this time of morning.

It was peaceful this early. The large floor-to-ceiling windows of the garden relishing in the warming sun of a new day. My usual spot was, as usual, not occupied. It took me only seconds to sink myself deep into the force.

~*~

Not typically me, I was groggy when I released from the force. So it took me a couple minutes to reorient myself. When I did, I found I had company. Qui-Gon. He was in a light trance of his own and opened his eyes when he felt my stare.

"I hope I'm not intruding, T'narr. Jaythen called Obi-Wan asking if I could check on you."

"That's okay. I left him a message though."

"You've been gone a long time. He was concerned."

"I only left quarters at…" I glanced out the window. The sun has ascended well past early morning light. "What time is it?"

"Close to lunch hour."

Startled, I unfolded my legs and tried to stand. "Five hours? I've been here for almost five hours?"

Putting a hand on my arm, he encouraged me to stay sitting. "Take your time. Jaythen is fine. I called Eryck and had he and Obi-Wan take lunch over to him. Marcus didn't mind Eryck taking an hour or so away from his lessons. I know Jaythen is probably still wary of stares from other Jedi in the dining hall, so I thought it best to go this route. I told Obi-Wan to relay the message that you are fine and in the meditation gardens. Your comlink is lying next to you. He probably called you, but you were too deep to hear it."

My shoulders fell in relief. "Thank you, Qui-Gon. I had no idea I - I thought I'd be an hour or two at the most."

"You must have needed the connection."

"I did. I have to be so careful around Jaythen where the force is involved, it appears I've neglected my own well being."

"I'd be glad to keep an eye on him when you need to get away. I know Terran and Marcus wouldn't mind either. Even Obi-Wan. Don't forget to seek out your friends when you need them."

"I appreciate it. His recovery is still ongoing. Physically, he's doing wonderfully. But he's still terrified of the force and those damn nightmares are not allowing him much peace." I paused for a moment, thinking of how much to tell Qui-Gon. He'd become a close friend in these last two years. I felt comfortable with him.

He asked before I could consider any further. "There's something else."

"He woke up in a horrible dream last night. Screaming and crying and…it took me an hour to get him settled. When I finally did, he just rocked back and forth, telling me that he couldn't be a Jedi anymore because it was too painful. And I'm confident this wasn't just the panic talking. This has been simmering for sometime, even before his abduction."

Qui-Gon didn't seem thrown by what he'd been told and offered his advice on the subject quickly. "You need to talk to Yoda, alone. Not the council. Yoda will at least listen to reason. The rest of them…who knows what they might do with him or where they might send him. The agricorps is a strong possibility."

I shook my head trying not to think about Jaythen being put into the uncaring hands of the council, where he'd lose touch with those he knew and loved. It wouldn't happen, not while I was still breathing. "He's a good boy, Qui-Gon. He doesn't deserve that and I won't allow it." I caught my breath. Talking about these possibilities was harder than I never thought it could be. And Jaythen wasn't even in the room. I closed my eyes, feeling the water welling there.

"And that's why you have to play this the right way. Keep Terran involved. He can attest to Jaythen's emotional state of mind. There is however, no easy answer to any of this. If Jaythen wants to leave…"

I knew where he was going and finished his thought. "That means leaving me. He'd never do that. Especially not in the state he's in now." My head fell into my hands, my knees pulled to my chest. This hurt just thinking about it. It was several minutes before I said painfully, "I don't know what to do, Qui-Gon."

To his credit, Qui-Gon didn't sugar-coat the issue as he thought more deeply about the consequences. "If Jaythen doesn't improve and remains unstable the council will never allow one so uneven out of their hands. Not even to the agricorps. It would be too easy for him to be taken advantage of by anyone who could work to find his trust. The power they would have over him would be immense. They could use him for whatever they wished."

I knew exactly what he meant. An enemy of the Jedi or even worse, one who found his or her power from the dark side of the force could manipulate my padawan and turn him into their puppet.

"But if he does improve…"

"The agricorps would probably be the answer."

My head came up and I took a long drawn breath. "There's another option. I could leave the Jedi and take him with me."

"They'd never let you leave, T'narr. Not with your abilities."

"Something has to give, Qui-Gon. I'm not going to let Jaythen fall into oblivion. I promised him that I would look after him as long as I could. The Jedi can take children from their parents when they are very young. I'll be damned if they're going to take him away from me when he needs me the most." The words came out with more force and anger than I meant. I tossed a hopeless glace in Qui-Gon's direction to apologize.

"No need, T'narr. If you need someone on your side, I'm here. You don't have to convince me what's best for Jaythen. It's obvious to anyone who has seen you both together. Obi-Wan, Marcus, Eryck, Terran. You have a small army of friends on your side. But accept this from one who has taken on the council more than once - deal only with Yoda unless you have absolutely no other choice."

I knew he was right. Qui-Gon's clashes with the council were legendary. It was best in this case to listen to experience over my emotional hopes.

He helped me up and walked me to my quarters. Upon entering, I saw no sign of any padawans – there should have been three – and I heard a horrible retching sound coming from the bathroom. Hurrying in, I found Jaythen on his knees, bent over the toilet depositing the lunch that his friends had brought him. Obi-Wan was on his right holding him steady. Eryck was on his left bathing his face with a damp cloth.

Qui-Gon spoke quietly to get his learner's attention. They weren't aware of our presence being so preoccupied with helping their friend. "Obi-Wan, what's happened?"

The older padawan's head bounced up and he looked back. Eryck took over supporting Jaythen's weight so Obi-Wan could talk to us.

"He ate most of the lunch we brought. We talked some, even laughed. Then got really quiet, started holding his stomach and asked me if I could help him hurry to the bathroom. He's been here ever since. This started about twenty minutes ago. We were going to call you, Master T'narr, but he's been really sick and we didn't want to leave him even for a few minutes."

I put an appreciative hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder before leaning down to Jaythen's level, placing gentle pressure on his back. "Jaythen." His shoulders fell and he collapsed backwards, pushing me off balance and onto my backside. He lay against my chest, breathing heavy - his thin body shivering.

I heard Qui-Gon whisper something to Obi-Wan, and then saw the older apprentice hurry out. Five minutes later he returned with a cup of something and handed it to me. Qui-Gon saw the confusion in my eyes and explained. "It'll help settle his stomach." At this point I had no reason

to question Qui-Gon. I stopped Jaythen's teeth from chattering long enough to get several sips of the thick orange liquid down him. Another vanishing act from Obi-Wan and this time he returned with a quilt from the couch and draped it over us. Qui-Gon then ushered everyone out of the bathroom so I could devote my complete attention to my apprentice.

Using the force would have made the next task easier, but that wasn't an option. So using one hand, I scooted myself back to lean against the wall. My other hand held snuggly around Jaythen's chest to bring him along. When we stopped, he leaned his head back, cloudy green eyes looking up into mine. "Sorry, Master."

"It's all right. Sip a little more of this orange liquid stuff that Obi-Wan brought." He did then lay his head back again. "Did you feel sick last night?"

"No. Before lunch, a little. After lunch, a lot."

I tried unsuccessfully to stifle a half laugh at the way Jaythen said that. Always honest. "We all have our moments, don't we? I think the anxieties and stress of last night didn't play nice with your lunch." He shook his head against me. "Was lunch tasty at least?"

"Very. I shouldn't have eaten two of the pala cream cakes though. But they were so tempting."

"Not anymore."

"No."

We sat that way for several moments more, until I was confident that he was past the vomiting stage. Carefully I stood, bringing him with me, cradled in my arms. We moved past our friends in the common area and I deposited Jaythen into his bed. "Rest for a short time." I put a hand on his forehead. Slightly chilled. No sign of fever though. That was good. No sickness, just anxiety. Which of course was bad enough, but I didn't need him to be sick on top of everything else.

When I returned to the common area, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Eryck were standing near the door. I thanked the two padawans for their support of Jaythen, even in the worst of times. I wish I could tell them how much their friendship meant to both myself and to Jaythen. They left grateful to know that Jaythen was resting. Qui-Gon stayed a bit longer at my request. He, Obi-Wan and the rest of the investigation team had returned from an extended examination of the planet and area where Jaythen had been taken and held captive. Although I'd forgotten until Qui-Gon showed up next to me in the meditation gardens. They'd been back on Coruscant less than two days. I just hadn't had a chance to speak with any of them until now.

Sensing that I wanted to talk again, Qui-Gon sat in the corner chair and waited for me to start.

"Despite all the excitement of today, Qu-Gon, I actually meant to track you down. How did the investigation go?"

"Not as successful as we would have liked. We did locate a few clues and pieces of evidence, but no sign of the offenders. A few claim to have seen people matching the descriptions, but if they knew anything further, we couldn't convince it out of them, either by the force or by bribery. We did identify that other boy and found out that he was a former Jedi apprentice who had been moved to the agricorps a year ago. His name was Darrus Vareen. We brought his body home to rest in the force. He was Master Mayder's learner. When Mayder was killed, the boy, eleven at the time, decided he'd rather go to the agricorps than train with a new master. How they got to him, we don't know. And are they preying only on Jedi apprentice's, we also don't know. For now, the planets surrounding that one, should there be any Jedi sent for missions, they will not involve any young ones. The council will only send experienced teams anywhere near that planet until we find those who did this."

I nodded. "For the best. No child, Jedi or not, should have to suffer that fate. Any sign of Jaythen's robe or light saber?"

"A few random shreds of this and that. What appears to be part of a Jedi robe. Nothing substantial." Qui-Gon made an "Oh!" face and reached into a side belt pouch. "I did however, find this." Holding his fisted hand, he dropped something into my open palm. A stone. More precisely, Jaythen's blue moon stone. I sense of relief flowed through me. The one thing that Jaythen was so upset to have lost had been found. I took Qui-Gon's hand in my own and squeezed it tight. "You don't know what this will mean to him. Thank you. He's been so worried that he'd never seen it again."

"It was fortunate we stumbled on it. It wasn't in that basement room where we found him. It was in an upstairs room tossed into a random pile of non-treasures. I suppose when they strip their victims they take what's valuable and what's not. This was buried in that pile. Obi-Wan found it after double checking the items for anything of use. He cleaned it up so it shines again and holds no feel or smell of where it was found."

I started smiling and kept on smiling, staring at the small rock in my hand. Such brilliant varying shades of blue all melding so perfectly. Perhaps this would help to bring Jaythen out of the gloom he'd been falling into during this latter part of his recovery. Little sleep. Nights plagued by dreams. The feeling that he would never again be able to feel the force without being terrified. It had been wearing on him mentally. Terran was worried he was slipping into a depression, but saw enough spark at times to think that he might be able to keep himself out of it. This could help. This tiny trinket was one of Jaythen's most treasured possessions. I know he'd felt an emptiness without it.

Qui-Gon got up. "I should go. We'll be going over the evidence. Kaai will be one of the leads in looking at what we found. I'm sure if he finds anything, you'll be the first to know. But Obi-Wan and I will be part of that. These people are too dangerous to just leave them be. We'll find them. Eventually. Let me know if you need anything."

We grasped hands for a moment and I thanked him for everything. Then I hurried to wake Jaythen.

He'd managed to drift off while Qui-Gon and I were talking. I felt a tinge of guilt in waking him, but I had a good reason. The initial grogginess gave me the opportunity to press the moon stone into his right hand and then curl his fingers around it. His eyes fluttered open and his thumb found the smooth surface of the rock and began moving over it. Eventually it got his attention enough that he came around to full consciousness.

Looking down as his hand, he opened his palm. At first he just stared at the small object, as if unbelieving that it was there. Then his green eyes met mine. His were watery. Mine soon followed.

"Master, what…where did you find this?"

"Qui-Gon gave it to me. He says Obi-Wan found it when they were on the planet where you were abducted. It was tossed aside in a pile of stuff that they left behind. It's back home now."

He closed his hand around it. I closed my hand around his. Neither of us tried to hide the emotions we felt. "Now you can sleep."

"Don't want to." To my surprise, he started moving out of his bed. Having to steady himself from a brief bought of dizziness, he hobbled into the common area and sat down. I was puzzled but followed. He sat quietly. Hands clasped on his lap. The stone secured and safe. "Master, I want to try."

I sat across from him. "Try what?"

"I'm tired of feeling like this. I feel so bad all the time. Tired and sad. I want to be better, even if I can't continue to be a Jedi."

"We haven't talked about yet, Padawan. And there is a lot to talk about. Perhaps some things you may not have thought of. I know how badly you've been feeling. You want to try and feel better?"

"Yes, Master. And I have to stop being so scared if I want to try it."

I knew what he was aiming at now. "You want to try and touch the force?"

He nodded nervously. "I'm scared of trying. I'm scared of touching it. But I have to try right?"

"At some point, yes."

"Now. I have to try now."

The return of the moon stone seemed to have inspired him momentarily. It was an opportunity that I needed to take advantage of. But more important, it was an opportunity that I needed to not mess up. I reached back to several talks I'd had with Terran about when this moment came. He suggested strongly that Jaythen not be the one to reach out. But that I try and touch his mind first. If he could accept the touch, then perhaps he could offer it.

"Jaythen, come with me." I got up and walked to our balcony. It wasn't large, but it served its purpose. It was comfortable. It was relaxing. I sat in a chair and instructed my apprentice to sit on the floor in front of me.

"Master, what are we doing?"

"Preparing. I don't want you reaching out. I want you to relax everything." I put my hands on his shoulders and gave a gentle rub. "Let me do the work."

"But I can't see you. What if I don't know…"

"Hush. Don't worry. I won't hurt you. You trust me, right?"

"Always, Master."

"Then trust me with this. I will touch my mind to yours with the force. Just briefly. Don't reach back. Concentrate on me. Don't focus on the fear. Don't focus on the pain that the force caused. Don't remember that collar. Just me. Relax your shoulders now." He did after a moment. "Good." Playfully to try and break the tension a little, I ruffled his hair. I could feel him smile. "Still need to get this cut, don't we? I keep saying that. Oh well, worry about that later. Just steer clear of Yoda is all." I felt him hide a laugh. Now was the time.

Both hands on his shoulders again, I closed my eyes and gently reached for the force. I found it easily enough. Under my hands I could feel tension building. My mind went to Jaythen's and I conveyed one word through our bond. _****Nayeli****_ It was a word that he would know was from me, and not from any nightmare or evil memory. In the Noma language of my people. In standard it means simply - I love you.

I withdrew from his mind immediately after and felt him physically under my hands battling his demons. His breathing became short and shallow, every breath a mêlée of emotion. Momentarily he had control. Then it was lost as he began shaking all over, crunching his knees to his chest and beginning that rocking motion from the night before. I moved from the chair and knelt behind him, draping my arms around him and laying them across his chest, holding him safely.

The rocking slowed. The shaking lessened. His breathing began to even.

When he finally settled against me, he drew up an uncoordinated hand to wipe his face. "M'okay, Master. When you touched, all the bad images came back to me. Everything they did, everything I felt."

"But this time, nothing bad happened to you."

"No. This time you were there, just like I imagined when I was locked in that place. Thinking about you made me feel better, even for a few seconds. I would open my eyes though and you weren't there. They were. Then they would hurt me again."

"Not anymore." I hugged him to me.

"I'm safe with you, Master. You won't hurt me like they did. I have to remember that when the force scares me so badly. You'll be there when I open my eyes and the nightmare ends."

"Always."

Jaythen, his back against my chest, reached his right hand to his heart and tapped twice again. Then he surprised me. "Can we try again, Master?"

"We can when you are ready."

"I'm ready," he said to me as he released a deep breath.

We repeated the same ritual four more times in the next hour. Each time, Jaythen's reaction was a little less dramatic and his recovery time shorter. It was progress. I was pleased. I think he was too. Happy with himself for the first time in a long time.

And as the next week progressed, he was to the point where his only reaction was a mild flinch when I initially touched his mind. One giant step forward. The next step would be for him to reach back. It was that – the attempt to call on the force – that caused him such anguish during the two months of capture. Now that that threat was no longer, he had to get his mind to accept that safety.

~*~

Tbc…


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

~*~

"Master?"

"Yes, Padawan?"

"What do you think the council will think about my recovery so far?"

"They should be proud of it, as I am. But we're not talking to the council about any of this. Only Master Yoda."

Jaythen cocked his head sideways. Curious. That was the padawan I knew. "Why?"

"I am under advisement from a quality source and good friend who says to avoid the council if I can. I trust his word on this. He has experience."

"Master Qui-Gon?"

"That would be my quality source, yes."

A small laugh. "Obi-Wan told me before about how Master Qui-Gon argues with the council."

"Argue is a strong word. I think he contests their decisions. He has his beliefs about how certain things should go. And refuses to give up those beliefs if he can. Though I understand that most of his contesting of the counsel has been unsuccessful. But I do trust him in this."

Jaythen stood straight and nodded shortly. "Then so do I." Then his shoulders slumped and his face sagged, feeling the strain of the just finished physical therapy session.

I smiled at him as we returned from the hospital to our own quarters. His walk was getting better although still awkward and slower. The therapy sessions were two hours of intense mobility and strength training that left him drained. But typical Jaythen, there was never a complaint that left his lips.

"When will we talk to Master Yoda?"

"Not until you are more comfortable in the force. You'll need to show that you are stable and strong – no longer fearful of it before I dare approach him about our idea."

Our idea was a radical one. And one very likely to be denied with a simple thump of Yoda's walking stick. It was however the only idea I could think of that would allow Jaythen peace of mind and allow me to remain with him. I'd mentioned it to Qui-Gon. He was intrigued, even if he also thought the request would be refused. It was our best chance though. In reality, it was our only chance.

Arriving at our apartment, my learner took a seat at the tiny kitchen table, unusual for him after a rough round of strain on his legs. Normally he would have collapsed onto the couch and curled up with his favorite quilt. The one that my mother had made for him.

I made us tea and placed cups on the table. His right hand curled around it, appreciating the warmth. He sat quietly, sipping carefully. It gave me a chance to watch him – to see him. Always a bit undersized for his age, the difficulty of the last weeks and months made him seem smaller. Maybe that was just a natural protective reaction on my end. A child hurts and no matter how old they are, the parent – or in this case, the teacher – will see him in that innocent child-like way because it strengthens their ability to comfort. It certainly has with me. A few years ago I never imagined I had it in me to care so much for a child. To hurt when they hurt. To cry when they cry. To take so much pride in the tiniest of accomplishments, such as getting through a therapy session without a single whimper of pain. A times I tend to think I've grown in the last – almost 3 years – than I did in the fifty some years before I took an apprentice. I had no doubt I was a better Jedi – a better person – for his presence.

I was brought out of my thoughts by an anxious voice. "Master T'narr are you okay?"

My eyes blinked rapidly and I shook my head clear. "I'm…I'm fine, Padawan. Just got lost in my thoughts for a moment. How's your tea?"

"Gone. Yours is probably cold. You were staring at me for over five minutes."

"Sorry. You're not tired from your therapy today?"

"I am. But I want to try today."

He didn't need to tell me what he was referring too. Over the last week he'd gotten reacquainted with the force by me touching his mind. We'd avoided the opposite thus far. I was waiting for him to decide when the time was right. He'd decided.

"You're anxious." I could feel it around him. Now that it was somewhat safe to access the force in his presence, the feelings eased me when his nerves got the best of him. "Anxious, but if you think you're ready."

He nodded and we ventured out to the balcony again. It had become our favorite spot to sit, relax and work on reintroducing him to the force. I knew he was comfortable there.

~*~

I sat silently, in mind and body. This would be his decision, his push. I was in the chair. Jaythen faced away from me, sitting on the floor, resting between my knees. My hands supportive on his shoulders. Our gazes drifted to the Coruscant skyline filled with ships. Filled with it's harmony of sights and sounds. The monotony eventually lured us into a relaxed state but Jaythen did not attempt to push through to me. I felt no tendril. I felt no sign of him.

After some time, he spoke. "I'm sorry, Master. I'm scared. What if…I…I'm sorry." His head fell forward, and I squeezed his shoulders.

"There is no failure here, Jaythen. When you are ready, you will try. We can sit out here all day if you like. Or we can stop now. Your decision." He didn't turn to look at me but I felt the tension return and knew he was fighting with himself. I offered no pressure. I simply waited.

An hour later - a deep breath. His body moved with it, then settled. "I'm ready to try, Master." Still he faced away from me, watching the ships passing. I rolled my shoulders to stretch out the kinks from the period of extended sitting and set my hands on him again.

I opened my mind completely. There, in the deepest corner was the tiniest wisp of connection. Never in my life have a felt such relief as I did the moment I felt that small tendril extending from my padawan's mind. It was the barest of feelings, but it was there. I couldn't help but smile,though I had to keep myself from pushing out towards that tendril. Jaythen wasn't ready. It would be some time before we would have that same fluent connection we once shared. For now I would be content that he was able to force his way through the fear and pain to reach me.

His push ended not a minute after it began, and he withdrew quickly. Jaythen turned around, smiling broadly. He stood slowly, ignoring the pain in his legs, and threw his arms around me. The weak left arm didn't hold much pressure, but the right held so hard that I lost a breath. When he finally released me, he brushed his face dry and then knelt next to where I still sat in the chair. He needn't say a word. His face said it all. I knew that look. Relief mixed with accomplishment.

"Be proud of yourself, Jaythen. You did this completely on your own. At your pace and in your own time. You did it. I'm very proud of you, Padawan."

Looking up at me, he didn't clean the tears away this time, but reached over and took my hand, remaining silent. To my surprise, I felt another tiny nudge at my mind. Again it didn't last long, but again he was successful.

After that, he again stood, but this time walked to the railing. Several freight cruisers floated by, their enormous size dwarfing all others. Jaythen followed one of them with his eyes. He was a peace for the moment with his recovery. I gave a good stretch to my legs as I pulled out of the chair to stand. At his side, I reached over and mussed his growing black hair. It hadn't seen a cut since this entire ordeal had begun, and was much too long for a padawan. Even his braid was beginning to look a bit shaggy. I'd seen the looks that members of the council had given him during the few times that we'd come across them. No matter what his future, right now, Jaythen was still a Jedi. I suppose it was time to make him look more the apprentice. There was really no excuse I could entertain at this point for his hair to not be cut in the traditional padawan style.

My hand dropped to his shoulder. "Hair cut tomorrow."

"I knew that was coming. I like it longer. My head doesn't get as cold."

I thought about when I had become a Knight. How wonderful it felt to not have to worry about keeping my hair trimmed short. And how cold my head and ears got in certain climates. I throated a laugh. "Now you know the reason why most Jedi Master's have long hair."

"I knew there as a good reason for it." He fell quiet for a moment before looking up at me. "Master, do you think Master Yoda will understand my reasons and my feelings?"

I knew what he spoke of. "I hope so. Qui-Gon thinks he will. What I don't know is if we'll have to present our request to the entire council. And if so, what that reaction will be."

"What if they say no?"

"We will fight that battle when and if we need to. You took another big step today. Let's focus on the positive, all right?"

"Yes, Master. Thank you for being so patient with me."

Gently, I pulled him close in a snug squeeze. A moment later we turned and left the balcony.

~*~

"Wish to see me, you do?" Yoda was exiting the council chambers as we happed to be walking by. Honestly, I hadn't expected to talk to him so soon. I was hoping that Jaythen could move further along in his force-connection recovery before we approached the issue. It didn't appear that would be an option.

Both Jaythen and I bowed towards the ancient Jedi, but the boy's anxiety increased greatly. We had been staying connected for longer periods of time now. More on my end than his, as he was still wary about pushing into my mind for longer than a moment or two. But he was adapting well to me connecting to his mind. So I was in tune to his feelings again, especially when they changed so quickly. Needing to calm him, I didn't intrude on his mind without warning. That would only make matters worse. Instead I lay a hand on his arm and tapped my fingers a few times to try and divert his worry.

"We do wish to speak with you, Master Yoda, although I hadn't expected to today."

"Speak now we must. Decisions you have. Follow me, you will."

My padawan and I exchanged a look as we fell in step behind the hobbling Jedi.

We knelt on the hard floor with Yoda directly before us. His quarters were dimly lit, illuminating with it a sense of peacefulness. There was no time wasted in getting to the point of the discussion as he calmly directed towards Jaythen.

"Decision you have made, Padwan Talari, yes?"

Jaythen centered and nodded. A 'hmmm' sound from a closed-eyed Yoda instructed him to explain. "Master Yoda, I do not feel that I can fully dedicate myself to the Jedi Order. It's very difficult for me to explain. And thinking about the reasons makes me think about all that has happened to me. I have worked hard to move beyond my past, but it still haunts me. And then when those people kidnapped me and hurt me. I'm still so scared to completely give myself over to the force. I know it will hurt me again one day. Even with Master T'narr's patience and care, I still know it will hurt me again. And being here, around so many who are so powerful, I find no comfort or peace. I just…I'm scared, Master Yoda. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of being in pain. I'm tired of the hurt that being part of the Jedi Order has brought on me. But I feel that I have failed…"

Yoda held up a clawed hand and opened his large eyes. My padawan was using every ounce of his will to keep his tears at bay and his bottom lip was taking the brunt of that effort. To his credit, he never once broke eye contact with Yoda. He was as determined as I had ever seen him.

"Feel your pain I have. For many years. Know your struggle and hurt, I do. Matched you with your master for those reasons. A failure, you are not. Leave the Jedi you wish?"

Jaythen looked at me then, his green eyes pleading for me to step in. I had planned to and I did. "That is what we wish to discuss with you, Master Yoda. We have come up with an idea. I suspect that the council will not let Jaythen simply leave the Jedi. It's much too dangerous, as he could be used as a pawn against us, and his will could be destroyed." I felt my padawan flinch inwardly at the thought. He was still allowing me to hold a tendril in his mind. "I do not intend to allow such to happen to my apprentice. Our request is that we be permitted to leave the temple, to live on my home planet of Kembar Lune. We would remain part of the Jedi Order, but work outwardly on a limited number of missions. We would return to the temple several times a year to reconnect. Essentially we would split our lives between assisting the Jedi and beginning a life on Kembar Lune. It would provide Jaythen with the distance he needs to complete his recovery and it would allow him to have some semblance of a normal life away from so much pain and anguish."

"Ready to leave the Jedi you are, Master T'narr?"

"I would lie if I said I have not given thought to leaving at some point, Master. I do feel a duty to the Jedi. But I don't feel as committed as I once did. Perhaps having Jaythen in my life has changed my view a bit. I don't know. If the decision only concerned me, I would be torn between maintaining my duty here on Coruscant and staring a permanent life on Kembar Lune. With Jaythen - I will not allow him to be lost. He is what's most important to me now. Whether or not the council sees that as healthy, truthfully I do not care. He is my responsibility, and I intend to fulfill my duty to raise him until he needs me no longer."

I waited for Yoda. His eyes closed again and he lost himself in the force just that quickly. Jaythen chewed his lip. Nerves. I caught myself almost doing the same thing when Yoda finally came out of his trance. Those large, all-seeing eyes bore into each of us. He reached into my mind to find my true feelings. Those feelings were just as I had said aloud to him moments before. There was no attempt to reach Jaythen's mind. He would not submit my padawan to what he was not prepared for.

"Speak with the council I will. Know your feelings, I do. Reasonable, they are. Call on you tomorrow I will."

And that was that. We stood. We bowed. We left. We waited.

~*~

That evening, late, my former master came to my door. Kaai Dajani has always been an imposing figure to me. His long, thin frame and the deepest of dark blue eyes commanded attention. He was a difficult negotiator, one that some leaders actually asked the Jedi not to send for fear that he would fix their problems too easily, not allowing for their much needed squabbling. I still look up to him, though I am almost as skilled in the negotiating realm. And I am always grateful to sit and talk with him, even at such an hour.

He greeted me as he's done since I was a stocky, tall nine year old boy. A hand on either shoulder and a brief touch of his temple to mine. It was a standard greeting that his race shared with loved ones. Family. Even today, it comforts me.

Making himself comfortable in a corner chair of our common area, he sat back, crossed one leg over the other and settled his hands into his lap. "Padawan." The title still made me smile.

"Master." I said back him. His smile followed.

"So, what's this I hear about you leaving the Jedi?" Kaai Dajani, never one to make small talk. He knew his target and aimed for it right off the mark.

"Not leaving completely. It will be, I hope, something that works for Jaythen and I, and for the Jedi." I explained the situation. The reasons behind it. He knew all about Jaythen's recovery and his emotional issues before and since his abduction. There didn't seem to be much about this decision that surprised him.

"You've always had a thing for your home land. It's why I allowed you to visit so often, even those times without me. And I know you were a regular there after you became a Knight. And naturally I'm not shocked that it's the first journey you took your own padawan."

I looked at him, watching his eyes as he spoke. Ironically enough I found myself to be seeking his approval to continue this path. Always the student around my former teacher, it seemed. I saw no condemnation I those eyes. It was a relief. "It's what best for both of us, Kaai. I'm certain of it."

"How's the boy?"

"Tired. And sleeping soundly I hope."

"His recovery?"

"We're getting there. A lot of progress in the last week getting him to accept the force again. But there is so much work yet to do. There are scars there that run deep. Some may never completely heal."

"I haven't seen him much since you brought him back. Although I appreciate you keeping me

up to date. Those times I did see him, he was very wary. Kept me at a bit of a distance. He'd been different."

My former master had taken a quick liking to Jaythen when I'd first introduced them. Jaythen in turn had easily allowed Kaai to become an almost grandfatherly presence to him. They'd always gotten along wonderfully before this. I knew in time though that Jaythen would remember how much Kaai cared about him. "You've not seen him in a few weeks. He's much improved. He has mentioned you. We just haven't found the time to visit. This recovery has not been easy."

"On either of you, I can see. The boy is in good hands though, T'narr. Some things I know. This I know. He's a safe as he can possibly be with you around. You will be missed at the temple. But the decision seems a sound one."

"I only hope the council agrees. If not, I don't know what happens."

"You will do what you have to do to keep that boy safe and healthy."

"I will."

It felt strange at times talking to Master Kaai about my padawan. All through my late apprenticeship and my years as a solo Knight, I had no inkling to be a teacher. As much as I enjoyed my time with Kaai, both as a padawan and then after, the want to train never touched me.

Until Jaythen.

Now we had something to share, beyond our fondness for each other as teacher and student. We could talk padawans. It felt strange. But at the same time, it felt good.

We talked a while longer when I heard a noise from the smaller bedroom. My apprentice sputtered into the hall, squinting into the brightness of the common area. His untamed and still un-cut hair, sticking out at all odd angles. I laughed quietly at the sight. For a moment, he looked like any ten year old boy might look waking before morning. Wiping at his eyes, he stopped when he noticed that I wasn't alone.

"Jaythen?"

"Master." He stepped closer to me then dropped to floor to sit with his legs crossed and leaning back against my chair. Wavering in that not-quite-awake mode, I steadied him with a hand on his shoulder. Another wipe to his eyes and he relaxed his hand, sitting with shoulders slumped. I knew the look. I knew the position. Nightmare.

A moment of quiet passed when he looked over at my former master. "Hi Master Kaai."

Kaai pushed himself from the chair, onto the floor, scooting to within a couple feet of Jaythen. Careful not to intrude on his personal space. Even in a sitting position, Kaai towered over my apprentice. It was an awkward picture of the two of them. But the man was always gentle with the young ones.

"How are you, my boy?"

"I'm okay. I'm sorry I haven't visited you lately."

"No worries."

"I've missed you."

"And I you. Though T'narr has been letting me know how you've been."

I could feel some of the tension releasing under my hand. The shoulders loosened some. A deep breath was exhaled. Kaai was taking Jaythen's mind off the nightmare by avoiding talking about the entire reason he was out of bed.

"How is your leg?" Jaythen then asked.

The questions threw me for a moment then I remembered a small injury that Kaai had suffered just before Jaythen went missing. Kaai, it seemed had forgotten also, albeit briefly as he then recalled.

"It's much better. No sign of a limp. No tinges of pain left. Thank you for remembering."

"You said that you couldn't wait to find the troll that left his gimmer stick laying on the floor like that, after you tripped on it."

I laughed. Couldn't help it. The statement sounded so much like my master. And to hear Jaythen repeating it back was too much. Kaai laughed too. We even garnered a smile from Jaythen.

"You remember well, my boy. I know the troll that did it. I just haven't confronted him on it yet. I suppose I wasn't ready for a backwards lecture. The time has to be right for that. I'm glad to see you looking better though. Picked up a little weight too."

"Some days are better than others."

"You'll get there. Once you start your life on Kembar Lune, you'll see a change."

The hope that came across Jaythen's face as he looked back towards me, melted any anxieties I had after knowing he'd come from his room after a nightmare. Kaai was rarely wrong about anything. I trusted him on this - that he knew the council would approve of our request.

"You really think they'll let us go and live away from the temple?"

"I do. Although I suspect there will be some catch to it all. The council rarely allows things to happen cleanly. A few of them will find a way to make this somewhat uncomfortable. But don't worry about that, boy. I will miss seeing you. You'll make a point to come see me each time you return to the temple, yes?"

"I will, Master Kaai. I promise I will." Jaythen nodded enthusiastically. He scooted forward, the feet between them vanishing as he wrapped his right arm around the old Jedi in a tight hug. "I'll miss you too. Maybe you can come visit us! Do you think, Master?"

He turned to me when he released Kaai. I nodded. "He can visit anytime he wishes, Padawan. And you should get back to bed now."

"I know." Standing, he moved away from Kaai and said his goodnights.

"Call for me if you need me, Jaythen," I said to him softly. In any other company it would have probably embarrassed him. But Kaai was well aware of his issues and thought no less of him.

There was nothing to hide in his company. He was one man that I knew would never betray a confidence.

When Jaythen was gone and I heard the door slide shut, I asked Kaai if there had been anything new on the investigation into his abduction. Nothing worth noting, he told me. There we still teams dedicated to the investigation, but the number of them was less with the trail leading cold in every direction. Those Jedi were needed elsewhere.

It was beyond late now. Kaai stood at the door. "Let me know what the council decides. And look out for that catch I was talking about. It'll be minor – petty probably - but it'll be there. The decision is a good one. For you both. Just don't forget this old man when you're here."

"I could never forget you, Master."

"Nor I you, Padawan. Goodnight then. I'll speak to you soon."

I found my bed willing and warm when I finally fell into it moments later.

~*~

The next morning, I woke Jaythen. We had no idea what time Yoda would call on us, but we needed to be presentable. A haircut was in order. At this time of the morning things would be quiet. Few Jedi were earlier risers when it came to hair cuts. The non-Jedi female that had been cutting padawan hair for years was still there. Her crazy green hair and pale pasty skin caught a lot of stares from the youngest of the Jedi, but she was quick and talented with the buzz shears. Jaythen flinched only slightly at her touch, but looked uncomfortable the entire time she was working. She finished with a smacking sound as he pressed her lips together. He was then hurried him out of the chair and out the door. Efficient to say the least.

We stood outside the door, I straightened the hair that made up Jaythen's braid, plaited it with new bands and set it so that it just touched his shoulder. He reached up and frowned - feeling for his long hair now gone.

"I was getting used to having more hair, Master."

"In time. Looks nice though. It's even and she didn't scalp you."

He continued his frown when my comlink beeped. It was one of the council aides. Our presence was being requested. Our future to be decided. We both straightened our tunics. In the last week, Jaythen had gotten back in the habit of wearing his regular Jedi garb, unless he was in therapy. I'd made him a new light saber, and it hung comfortably clipped to his belt. Just looking at him, you'd never have known the trials that had recently tormented him. Still underweight, but that was the only sign of anything abnormal going on. I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Ready?"

"Yes, Master."

"Let's go hear our future."

~*~

Tbc…


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

~*~

We stood together in the council chambers. Jaythen in front of me with my hands resting easily on his shoulders. I figured it would help both our anxieties if we maintained a physical connection since our mental bond was still a work in progress. The eyes watched us from every direction. I'd never been a fan of standing in front of the council, with their semi-circle of faces and powerful force presence boring into me. Seems Jaythen thought it more uncomfortable than I did. His right hand reached up to grasp my fingers, seeking support. I did not try to hide his fear by correcting his action. This was Jaythen. The council needed to see him for his true self. His fingers gripped mine snuggly as the first council member spoke.

Mace Windu. "Master T'narr Kresson. Apprentice Jaythen Talari. We have discussed the proposal that you brought to Yoda. We have discussed the reasons for that proposal. We are divided on our decision; however we have found shared ground. Your proposal that you both be permitted to reside not at the Jedi temple, but on the planet of Kembar Lune, has been granted with provisions. You will be required to spend six weeks a year here at the temple. Though the number of missions you serve will be reduced from that of a normal Jedi team, you will be subjected to missions of our choosing. You will have no say in whether or not to accept or decline a mission. Padawan Talari

will continue normal training and it will be mandatory for him to show progress as an apprentice would stationed here on Coruscant.. If we discover that his abilities are not where they should be, according to his age and experience, we retain the right to revoke this agreement. Should he wish to completely sever his ties with the Jedi Order at any point, you both will return to us immediately for counsel and resolution. Each time you return to the temple, you submit yourself to Healer Terran Va'lor for a completely physical. You will also submit yourself to Master Yoda for debriefing of your time away."

He nodded once to another council member who took over. Plo Kloon. His mask-like face was always impossible to read. His deep vibrating voice was always menacing. "Since you will no longer reside permanently at the temple, you will relinquish your quarters. Smaller quarters will be afforded you on the lower level. You will move to them immediately upon conclusion of this assembly."

Silence descended over us suddenly. We waited for the next master to speak. None did. What followed was worse. Without warning, Plo Kloon exchanged glances with Windu and another Jedi, then thrust himself into Jaythen's mind. My padawan recoiled and fell backwards into my arms. His knees buckled beneath him as he crumpled to the floor. Kloon withdrew within seconds, but another silent exchange between he and Windu told me that he'd gotten what he was after. They had wanted to be certain of Jaythen's continued fear of the force. They had wanted to see its depths. They had found it in the quickest and cruelest way possible.

Jaythen lay shaking on the floor, leaned against my chest where I knelt beside him. I dare not look up at Kloon for the act of what I considered betrayal he'd just committed. Worse, he was not alone in his act. At least two others had approved of the action. At least I knew which three to avoid if ever seeking an ally in the council.

A few more moments of silence passed. At this point, I didn't know what to expect. Again, it was not what I expected. Jaythen gathered himself and stood. Trembling and taking short rapid breaths. A single tear slipped down his cheek. He straightened his tunic and faced the council. I resumed my position behind him, hands again resting on his shoulders. I knew, had we not been in front of the council, Jaythen would have lost all control. Somehow he'd summoned the emotional strength to fight through the remainder of the meeting. His head was held high and his eyes facing forward, meeting none other.

I noticed several sympathetic glances from some other masters, though not a word was spoken. Eventually Yoda spoke.

"Return to my quarters at dinner hour you will. Dismissed you are." And with a wave of his ancient clawed hand, he sent us away.

Once outside in the atrium of the chambers, I sat Jaythen onto a large chair and took a place next to him. Instantly he leaned into me, sobs breaking loose from his fragile façade. I said nothing, but sat with a secure half embrace, alternating between rubbing his back and arm. A council aide came to see about us. Offering water or tea, whatever we needed. I thanked her but turned the offer away. Not long after, I could hear noise in the chamber behind us and figured the council was breaking up for the session. I wanted to be nowhere near them when they exited past. So with a couple of soft words, I encouraged Jaythen to return to quarters. Quarters that it seemed, were no longer ours. As we entered the corridor, familiar faces appeared. Master Kaai. My former master. Always concerned for myself and for Jaythen. Master Marcus Kaavi and his apprentice Eryck S'val. Jaythen's best friend. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. All there to offer their support for whatever the council had decided for our future. Upon seeing Jaythen so upset, they politely backed away. I told them that everything was all right, and would touch base later. Each understood. I asked only Kaai to stay with us.

~*~

Once at our apartment, I sent Jaythen to get a warm bath. Since his injuries, he'd become well accustomed to healing baths, and had developed a great appreciation for them. A restful time in the tub also seemed to help him relax mentally. He assured me that he was okay, and wandered into the bathroom. I returned to the common area to find a cup of hot tea waiting for me, compliments of Kaai. He ordered me to sit and placed the mug in my hands.

"Tell me what happened."

I did. "They agreed to our proposal. But with provisions, as you suggested they might. Nothing too serious. But we are being kicked from our apartment and into the lower level. I didn't know there were human quality rooms down there."

"There aren't. We may have to address that issue. Get Healer Terran on your side if you need to. Being down there won't be healthy for either of you. What caused him to be so upset?"

"Kloon invaded his mind without permission and without warning, completely aware of his condition and uncertainty of the force. He had at least two others on his side. It was only a brief intrusion, but even I can't get into his mind for more than a few seconds. I know why they did it. To satisfy their need to make sure that the traumas he's still having are real. They got what they wanted and they've undone part of the progress that Terran and I have made. Idiots!"

"True. Let me guess. Windu was one of the other two."

I nodded.

"Get Jaythen out of here as soon as you can. Get him settled in his new home. The further away from you are from those the better."

Our conversation turned away from the council and towards better things. Kaai was pleased, but saddened that we would be moving to Kembar Lune. He would miss us both. And I him.

I got up to pour myself another serving of tea, when I heard a cry from the bathroom. We rushed in. Jaythen was sitting on the floor, wrapped in a towel. His knees were tucked under him and he clung to the outside of the tub. He was completely dry, having not ventured into the tub the entire time that Kaai and I had been talking.

I faced him, coming to his level. "Jaythen?"

"I'm scared, Master."

I cursed Kloon silently. "I know. We'll get past this. It's only a detour. I want you to get into the bath though. It'll be good for you." He looked at me with a pain in his eyes that hadn't been there in over a week. Coming so far - now thrown backwards. "I'll help you. Come on."

He stood shakily, reaching up briefly to scratch at the circular scar on his neck. I wondered if he'd be forced to live the rest of his life with a permanent scar from that damn collar. Kaai ran new water, warm and foamy. A short hesitation and Jaythen pried the towel from his waist and stepped in. Together, Kaai and I balanced him as he slid into the bubbles. I could feel some of the tension in his arm lessen. I ran a hand over his hair to dampen it some. "You want me to stay?"

There was a slight shake of the head, almost as if he couldn't decide. In the end, probably feeling embarrassed, he wanted to be alone. "I'm okay now." I went to leave when he stopped me. "Master, why did they do that to me?"

"For their own amusement, I can't help but think. I guess they were testing to see how deep your fears ran. It was uncalled for, Padawan. And I will be voicing my concerns with Yoda when we meet with him this evening. Soon we will not have to deal directly with them. Once we get to Kembar Lune, we will continue your therapy and get you to your past strength without their interference. They've helped to undo much of the progress we have made. I am not pleased with their actions. You, Padawan, did nothing wrong. You showed such strength in standing before them again after the invasion of your mind. I was very proud of you at that moment, Jaythen. Know that."

He smiled sadly, relaxing his head back. Kaai and I removed ourselves back to the common area to finish our tea.

~*~

Master Yoda was waiting for us when we arrived in his quarters. Kaai has successfully fended off a council aide who'd made a weak attempt to kick us from our own apartment before we'd had a chance to get things packed up. So I was not in an appreciative mood when I knelt before the small green Jedi. The pettiness with which several council members had treated this serious matter of Jaythen's well-being disturbed me. I was grateful that it appeared Yoda was on our side. My apprentice sat cross-legged beside me, unable to kneel because of the leg discomfort he still suffered. He'd been quiet since his incident in the bathroom. Now he clung closer to me that he normally would, perhaps fearful of all council members now. Yoda addressed the issue swiftly.

"Agree with Master Kloon's action I do not. Others, agree with me they do. Padawan Talari, understanding of your torment we are. Do not judge the entire council by the action and attitude of three. Allies you have."

Jaythen nodded and thanked Yoda quietly.

"Depart to Kembar Lune you may in two days. See Healer Terran you both will before you leave, and update him on Padawan Talari's progress you will continue. A small ship will be given for your use. With council aide Cressha will you maintain temple contact. My aide she is. Information shared with her reports to no other. Safe your words will be."

The action wasn't lost on me. Yoda was giving us permission to contact him almost directly. We would report to him while off planet. It was a great feeling of relief. "I will speak with Cressha before leaving here. Thank you, my Master."

"Of your new quarters I have no control. Move out today you must. New team moves in tomorrow. Have anything to discuss, do you? Hmm?"

Jaythen shook his head. I voiced, "No, Master Yoda. That's all for now."

"Very well. A good apprentice Jedi you are, Jaythen. Troubled you are also. Find the force again you will. Take care of each other, you must."

~*~

We met with Cressha in her office just outside Yoda's quarters. She was of average height, stocky with dark brown skin. Not a single hair grew on her head. But she had the clearest blue eyes that completely contrasted the dark coloring. She was the aide who had offered assistance after our meeting with the council earlier. Her voice was soft and kind. I could tell Jaythen took a liking to her immediately, despite his current unsettled state.

"Once you get your transport ship, provide the necessary information to me. Your private com numbers as well. And any other information that you feel Master Yoda should need when you are off-planet. Do not hesitate to call this office at any time. I will see that you receive a response to any inquiries as soon as possible. Master Kresson. Padawan Talari. It is good to meet you both." She smiled warmly.

"And you, Cressha. Thank you for your offer of help this morning. It was very much appreciated. I believe we will have a nice working relationship. I look forward to it."

"As do I. Good evening to you both." With a half bow, she was off to other duties.

Jaythen and I wandered home. A droid was awaiting us outside our soon to be former apartment. He had with him a moving cart so that our belongings could be pushed easily to our new quarters. I asked the droid to remain outside while we packed.

When Jaythen had gotten his things together, he stood in the doorway to my bedroom. "Master?"

"Sorry. I'm moving slowly. I've been in this apartment for a long time. I will miss it."

"I'll miss the balcony. I don't know where I'll spend my quiet time now when I'm on Coruscant. I've never been to the lower level."

Loading our possessions into the cart took not much time. Neither of us had much. Trinkets here and there. Some clothes. Bed pillows. Two quilts from my home planet. Data pads and such. The lift to the lower levels was swift, but it was clearly way from the heart of the temple. I'm sure Kloon and the others intended it to be that way. We followed the droid down a long corridor. The noise of various projects blended into a loud irritating hum. The smells were worse. Metals of all types combined with the fires used to bend them. My head ached just thinking about living down here for anymore than a few minutes.

The droid left us at a door marked only with a blue X. We walked in. There were two rooms. A common room and a washroom. The walls were steel gray. It was clean, which was the only thing I could see positive about it.

"We all know this won't work, T'narr." Master Kaai stood behind me, surprising me. I hadn't expected him. "I saw you getting in the lift. Figured I would follow. You can't stay here."

I looked up into those dark eyes the blue stare boring into me. He was correct of course. Kaai was always correct. But we had to try this. I did not want to irritate the council more so soon after their decision, and so short a time before we left for Kembar Lune. "We'll go this night and see what it brings." Absently I put a hand on Jaythen to keep him close.

"Very well, T'narr. I have to tell you, if the well being of Jaythen wasn't at stake, I'd give the council a piece of my mind. Inform them of how petty and childish this is. I'd also like to inform them of the idiots that they are. At least a few of them. But that's for another time. And I'm sure some of them already know."

Silently, we agreed that the conversation should end there. He put a reassuring hand on my arm, patted lightly and then took his leave. My stomach felt sick at the thought of staying in this room. Determination was the only thing that drove me forward to do it.

~*~

I woke to a dry hacking sound. Someone was coughing continuously and painfully. Jaythen. He'd moved from the common room floor to the washroom, sliding the door shut. No doubt so he didn't wake me. The cold floor wasn't the place for a young padawan still recovering, but that's exactly where I found him. Sitting hunched over, arms around his legs and couching into the space between his knees to curtail the sound. He moved his left arm, the weaker of the two, up and tried to wipe at the saliva dribbling on his chin. The move was clumsy and rattled. I took the sleeve of my sleep tunic and dried his face. His green eyes squinted shut as another coughing bout took hold.

"It's the fumes, isn't it?"

He nodded.

"Can you stand?"

Between coughs, he managed to respond with a yes.

"Come then."

I grabbed our two pillows and a quilt and escorted us out of the tiny quarters, to the lift and up. The coughing subsided some once we got into the clear air of the water gardens. It was a place I frequented often before I had taken on the training of a student. Man-made streams caressed the large glass covered dome. Here one could lie back and listen to the peaceful running of the water or gaze up into the Coruscant sky and see the slow, silent procession of ships. At this time of the night – early morning actually – there were no other visitors. My favorite spot in the corner near a small waterfall called to me. I sat, leaning against a solid bench, bed pillow cushioning my back. The lushness of the green grass here always amazed me. It was real grass growing in real soil. Perhaps the humidity of the room allowed for its health and softness. I never really questioned it though. I patted the spot next to me.

"Lie down on your side. It might help still your coughing. Sounds better already now that we've gotten out of the lower level."

He did as instructed but was curious. "We're going to sleep here?"

"Sure. Why not? I always loved this place. You've probably never been here. It's peaceful. You'll sleep well." His pillow leaned on my right hip. "Put your head down. Close your eyes."

"Yes, Master."

The next thing I remember was a gentle humming sound. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the flood of daylight that dawn brought into the water gardens. The humming was closer now. Familiar too. It was a song that I had heard many times as a boy. Usually when I was having trouble sleeping. The corner of my mouth turned up in a smile and I acknowledged the presence of the man close by.

"Master."

The humming stopped. "Padawan."

I snorted at my former master when found Kaai sitting a few feet away, boots off, and feet cooling in the stream.

"What are you doing?" I didn't need to ask how he knew we were here. It was one of those things he just knew – never in my many years as his apprentice was I ever successful at eluding him. No matter the place or time, he would find me.

"I think the better question is what are you doing? And with the boy no less sleeping at your side. The new quarters not to your liking then? I don't need to tell you I told you so."

"The fumes got to him. He was up half the night coughing. We tried. We failed. We will take up residence here if we have to."

"No, you won't." Kaai pulled his feet back, dried them in the grass and began securing his socks and boots. "You will stay with me. I have an unused bedroom that used to be yours. Small, but you'll manage. The boy can take the couch. It's only six weeks a year, so don't give me any crap about intruding on private space. The items you will be maintaining on Coruscant will stay there. You will always have a warm and welcoming place to return to when you are here. And Jaythen is welcome to use either of the two bedroom balconies whenever he wishes. Do you wish to argue with me, Padawan?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. There was no arguing with that voice. "Thank you for the offer, Kaai. I think we will accept."

"Good. And what the council doesn't know won't hurt them. If they find out, well that's tough. I will not permit my former apprentice and his boy to live in discomfort when they return. End of discussion. Wake Jaythen. I'll prepare us breakfast." Then he stood and walked away. My heart warmed at his offer and his caring. My stomach growled in anticipation of the meal. Kaai was many things and a great cook was one of them. I carefully shook Jaythen awake, watched him stretch the kinks from his neck, back and still sore legs, and had him follow me up several levels to Kaai's apartment. He didn't question our destination, knowing the way so very well. He did question the reason though and was more than surprised when I told him.

"Master Kaai would do that for us?" We kept up our slow pace down the long corridor. His steps were still careful and tinged in pain from time to time.

"He's that type of person, Jaythen. I was very lucky to have been his apprentice. I find myself fortunate to still have a close relationship with him all these years later. I suspect he would do just about anything for me. And for you."

"But I've only known him for…not even two years."

"True, but you are my padawan. Automatically that means a connection. He loves you very much. I know."

A small shy smile followed. So Jaythen-like. "When we leave, I'll really miss him, Master."

I sighed. "Me too, Padawan. Me too." We stopped in front of his apartment chimed the door. I knew the lock code, but never was one to wander in unannounced. The door opened and Kaai stood there with his head cocked to the side, giving me a look that I knew all too well.

"Damn it, T'narr, enough of that. You know the code. Use it. And give it to the boy. You just enjoy making me open the door for you every time you come here. No more. My home is yours."

I grinned as I put the quilt and pillows into a corner. "I will have a droid bring our other belongings shortly. "Kaai, are you certain of this?" Another look. I tossed my hands up. "Sorry."

"Go visit your old – new bedroom. And show the boy his. Let me finish breakfast."

I looked at and pointed to the couch. "Jaythen, there is your new bedroom."

Jaythen laughed and sat down. "It's cushiony. I like it."

We wandered into the smaller of the two actual bedrooms. The one I had spent so many ears in as an apprentice. The bed was there – otherwise it was empty save for an ugly painting that hung behind the bed. I'd created that sad thing when I was nine years old. I always hated it, but Kaai felt just the opposite and forced me to hang it up so I could see it every day. Probably a teaching tool of some sort. Some of his lessons had been quite odd. Somehow though I was touched that it still remained hanging there. A memory of our time together as teacher and student.

Jaythen saw it and commented. "Master, that's an ugly painting. Did you make it?"

"Yes and thank you. It is rather hideous, isn't it? I suppose it's too late in my life to take it down now." I felt a small force nudge from Kaai. He'd heard me and answered with that push. Essentially telling me that the painting stays, but that I may go if I wish. I grinned.

"Master, look at the huge balcony you have! And the plants and flowers!"

So Kaai had also kept my balcony decorated as well. He never failed to surprise me. "You can go out."

Jaythen stood outside, feeling the day's new warmth spreading quickly. I could feel peace surrounding him almost immediately. My hand settled on his shoulder. "It's yours anytime you wish it, when we're on Coruscant of course." Another nudge through the force and I knew breakfast was ready. Kaai and I never had the power to exchange words and conversations through the force as Jaythen and I do. Or as we had, before his abduction. But like most Jedi we both could sense feelings and moods and we could also send small pushes or prods to each other. Kaai often took advantage of that to keep me on track, or on occasion just to annoy me. It seemed he was engaging in his attempt to annoy this morning. I found myself more content than annoyed though as we made our way to the kitchen area.

Breakfast was immense. I didn't know any Jedi that kept more fresh food in a cooling unit than did my former teacher. None of that calculated dining hall food for him. Jaythen's appetite had been unhealthy since he'd returned to us. He ate, but mostly because he had to. It's why it was taking him so long to put his modest weight back on. This morning though, his eyes lit up, he licked his lips and he dug in with an enthusiasm I'd never seen. I looked over at Kaai, perplexed. He winked knowingly.

"You just have to know how a boy likes to eat and what he likes to eat."

"If you say so. Jaythen, slow down. You eat so much so fast your stomach might explode."

"Master, you should learn to cook like your master."

"Funny. Perhaps you should take over the cooking duties."

Kaai chimed in. "I'd be glad to teach you some of my tricks of the trade, Jaythen. T'narr never much cared how to make the food, as long as he got to eat it."

I shook my head at my former teacher. "You're funny too." I paused before saying the inevitable. "We should start our preparations to leave. I need to find out what transport will be ours. We'll need to decide what of our belongings stay here and what goes with us. And we'll need to say our goodbyes. We've got a long day ahead."

Jaythen paused at the goodbye part. I think it's what he found most difficult about his need to leave the temple. He'd secured two valuable friends in Eryck and Obi-Wan. Eryck was his best friend. Obi-Wan was older, but served in sort of a friend/mentor role. Jaythen would miss them both terribly. I too would be saying goodbye. Qui-Gon had become a close companion in the last two years. And with Jaythen's friendship with Eryck, I'd formed a friend in his master, Marcus Kaavi.

The day would be an emotional one.

"T'narr, go see about your transport. Jaythen and I will bring the rest of your things from the lower level and then I'll help him determine what to pack."

I got up from the table. "I'll return shortly."

~*~

I was gone longer than anticipated. I'd run into Qui-Gon on my way back to Kaai's quarters. They were preparing for an extended mission and he let me know they were departing within the hour. Jaythen would be distraught if he didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Obi-Wan, so I hurried to gather him so that we could see our friends off.

Qui-Gon and I exchanged a brief embrace. We each wished each other safe journey. I promised to invite them to Kembar Lune when they had some downtime. Jaythen's scene with Obi-Wan was a bit more emotional, as I'd expected. Standing back so that I didn't intrude on their time, I watched from a distance. Qui-Gon standing next to me.

"Obi-Wan has been a good friend to Jaythen, despite their age difference. Jaythen looks up to him and it's much different than my relationship with him."

Qui-Gon nodded. "No matter the age, they share the familiarity of being an apprentice. Obi-Wan has learned from their friendship as well. He knows Jaythen's pains and appreciates the effort to overcome them. I've no doubt that he'll become a great teacher and mentor once my days with him are finished. Take good care of your boy, T'narr. You know how easy it would be for him to slip backwards with all he's been through. Never has a child needed stability in his life so badly. You were destined to be master and apprentice for this very reason. Trust in each other, no matter the circumstances."

We grasped hands before he moved towards his transport. He stopped briefly to address his learner. "Obi-Wan, we must leave to keep our schedule." Looking down at Jaythen, Qui-Gon knelt in front of him and took his small hand in both of his. "You have a safe journey, Jaythen. When you get to Kembar Lune, lose yourself in the world for a time. Once you are ready to resume your part- time Jedi duties, you'll know, and only then should T'narr advise the council. Take care of yourself first. And look after your master as well."

Jaythen smiled sadly and gave Qui-Gon a hug. He mumbled something that I couldn't hear then the pairing of Jinn and Kenobi departed.

I came to stand next to Jaythen. Hand around his shoulders. His right arm raised to wipe his tears away. We watched until the ship lifted from the landing pad and shot off into space.

One set of goodbyes down. More to go.

~*~

Eryck came running towards us as we strode from the landing dock. He was out of breath.

"Jaythen! I was worried I missed you. I saw your quarters empty last night and I thought you had gone. I can't stay long. We're leaving in a hurry. We just found out ten minutes ago that we have to leave right now."

Facing his best friend, Eryck was taller than Jaythen, although they were the same age. Without even trying, I could feel how upset Jaythen was becoming. He was bleeding into the force unaware of what he was doing. Still fearful of it to an extent, he hadn't yet re-learned how to shield or block outgoing emotions.

"I – I thought we'd have time today to spend together, Eryck."

"Me too. I'm sorry. We are meeting up with two other Jedi teams on this mission. So we can't be late to the rendezvous point. I – I'll miss you, Jaythen. A lot." Reaching forwarded, the taller boy wrapped his arms tightly around his friend. Tears were shed by both. I saw Marcus in the distance and walked towards him. We said our goodbyes and wished each other well. Then we turned back to our padawans who were each trying to say many words in a short time before going their separate ways.

"As soon as you come back to the temple for that first week, you call me. Okay, Jaythen?"

"I promise. I have my data pad too. We can write and send holo's. I'm taking the wooden horse you made me. I'm taking that with me. I'll put it in my bedroom where I can see it every day."

The depth behind that simple gesture was enough to force Eryck to wipe another tear away. "Say hi to Saber for me. Maybe I'll get to meet her one day."

"Not maybe. You will. I know you'll be able to come visit. Master Marcus and Master T'narr said so."

"I can't wait."

Beside his apprentice, Marcus gave a gentle push. "Eryck."

"I have to go, Jaythen." One last hug. "I'll miss you."

Jaythen didn't want to let go, but he did. "I'll miss you too. Bye, Eryck. Be safe on your mission."

They waved to each other. Then Marcus and Eryck hurried back down the corridor where they'd come. Jaythen and I made our way back to Kaai's quarters. His enthusiasm for the trip to Kembar Lune subdued with the realization that his friends were gone and it would be months at least before he saw them again. Possibly longer. The hurried departures of each put a damper on our last day at the temple.

Jaythen sat slumped on the couch in Kaai's apartment. The tears were dry, but the pain was damp. He looked miserable. I sat next to him, putting an arm around him. He leaned into the comfort. "This is harder than I thought, Master. I miss them already."

"You will see them again, Jaythen. As often as we can manage. I promise you. I want you to maintain your friendships with them. Those friendships will be stronger because of the distance and effort that you three will have to put into them. I know from experience. I have friends on Kembar Lune that I see so rarely. You've not met them yet, because our brief visits there, I wish to be for you more than me. But I've been able to remain friends with them even though being a Jedi has kept me away."

He looked up at me. "Will I get to meet them now?"

"You will. And I'm sure you'll make a couple friends of your own there."

A shrug.

"I'm not pushing you, Jaythen. You have to do things at your own pace. Our first priority is to focus on your recovery. The minor lingering issues with your legs. But most of all, the fears and difficulties you are still having with the force. After that, the sky is the limit."

"Master, you aren't doing all of this just for me, are you? I mean, if you would rather stay here at the temple…"

"Jaythen, stop. You are most important to me. Your well being. I have been content with my life in the temple. But I have sorely missed my true home of Kembar Lune. I have little difficulty accepting that my home land is where I'll be spending a great deal of my time. Our visits here and the few missions we receive each year will be the exception. I know how comfortable you are there. You felt an attachment to it that first time we visited. I hold those same feelings. Am I doing this just for you? No. But you are the main reason. You need this. You need to be away from the bureaucracy; the quibbling; the pettiness. Most of all, the pain. You've endured far too much pain for a ten year old boy. Now you get to enjoy being a boy before childhood disappears completely."

I felt him sigh and take a deep breath against me. But he did not speak. Reaching up, I ruffled his hair then pressed my chin to touch the top of his head. Finally he whispered to me. "Thank you, Master."

~*~

Tbc…


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

~*~

I received final instruction from Healer Terran as to therapy to continue with Jaythen. Both physical and for his emotional troubles. We agreed that my methods in getting him to use the force again were working as well as anything. Although there had been a severe backwards plunge in the last couple days because of what Councilor Kloon had done. I was tasked with providing weekly updates on Jaythen's condition and mental health. And he said if I needed anything at all, no matter what, to call him first. He could do what he could without the involvement of Yoda or the Council. I thanked him for that and for all his assistance and support with Jaythen. Terran was a healer, but also a trusted friend. I would miss him.

~*~

Jaythen had packed his belongings. Mostly clothes. His new light saber that he hadn't yet used. His moon stone, the wooden horse carving, his datapad and a few other odds and ends were packed. I did the same. A few trinkets I left to the care of Kaai. I knew he'd take good care of them.

Which brought us to our leaving. Saying goodbye to Kaai would be most difficult for me. It wasn't unusual for us to go weeks at a time, sometimes longer, between seeing each other in the normal life of a Jedi. But in recent weeks, I'd spent a great deal of quality time with him. And I was so grateful. Grateful for the support and comfort that he offered to both me and my apprentice. Grateful for always looking after his former apprentice. Mostly just grateful for his company. He and I had always gotten along. Ours had been a solid and close teacher-student pairing. As much as I loved my own father, Ihaani, who resided on Kembar Lune, I loved Kaai just as much. To an extent, I'd been gifted with two fathers.

We stood together in his small kitchen. After thoughtfully packing a container of pala cream cakes into Jaythen's travel bag, his attention turned to me. His hands placed on either side of my face as he leaned his temple forward to touch mine.

"Padawan."

It hurt to say goodbye to one so close.

"Master."

He kept his hold on me.

"I am so happy for you and Jaythen to get this chance for yourselves. I know it is what's best for you both. It's not best for me, but that's only because I won't see you as often. I will miss you both. This is your boy - your son. He trusts you with everything. Without you, he would have simply faded away. Love him like a father. But teach him like a father. Take care of him and you can be certain he will take care of you. I will be to see you. I promise. I've been to Kembar Lune often enough. So this is only farewell for now. And I expect to hear from you. Tell me about your days. Tell me how his recovery continues. Tell me about your well being."

"I promise to do all those things, Master. You trained and taught me well. Jaythen has taught me more about myself than I never knew. I will not allow him to fail. He will have a happy life. Thank you for all you've done for us, Master. You are what I'll miss most about not living in the temple. This is a good thing for Jaythen, and for me. This is right. I only wish it wasn't so difficult to leave the ones we love."

Finally he lifted his temple from mine. Neither of us made effort to remove the tears. I closed my eyes as he drifted close to kiss my forehead. Another custom of his people, but also a genuine tap of affection from former teacher to former student.

Then he turned to Jaythen, a already upset having watched our farewell. A small groan as Kaai kneeled to his level. A gentle hand to either side of Jaythen's face and Kaai touched temples with my padawan.

"You're a strong boy, Jaythen. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You will find a home and a life on Kembar Lune that will surprise you and comfort you. The only thing I ask is that you look after T'narr for me. I trust him to your care. I know you love him as much as I do. Go at your own pace with your recovery. But trust in my padawan. He will not lead you astray. I do love you, Jaythen as if you were my own. If you ever need me, send me a note or a holo message. Even if you just need someone to listen. The padawan of my padawan will always be my family."

Jaythen tried to talk, but his body became so wracked with sobs that it became impossible. Eventually, Kaai wrapped him in his long arms and held him until he calmed. The emotions of this day would be trouble for Jaythen probably for the next week. That was just the way he was. He cared deeply for those that cared about him. And more often than not, it was difficult for him to toss those feelings aside. A more honest person with his emotions, one could not hope to find.

When we both stood at the door to take a last look at Kaai's quarters, my former teacher held his arms out and said merrily, "My boys are going home." We all smiled through our tears. "And if I don't hear from either of you within a few days of your landing there…we'll let's just say you don't want me to come out there. You don't want the wrath of Kaai at your doorstep." He'd made us laugh, but I also knew he was serious. He'd be upset if he didn't know we landed safely in our new home.

"We promise to let you know that we arrived, Kaai. Jaythen won't let me forget."

Kaai stood tall. Wet tracks drying on his face. "Good. Then, off with you, before my eyes start stinging again."

Grabbing our bags, we both realized how little we had to take with us. Five bags between us. This was our life. And now we would begin a new chapter of that life.

~*~

As we sat at the controls of the transport, I gave one last thought to all we were leaving behind. Then I turned my attention to what lay ahead. After all, I did still have a padawan to train.

"Jaythen, would you like to get our journey started and pilot us out?"

He paused to think about it. It wasn't an order or even a request. Emotionally he was still distraught and confused. Taking the controls might help him focus away from that. I fully expected him to decline my offer. But he surprised me, and I think he surprised himself as well when he said, "Yes, Master. I think I would like that. It's good practice. Just, don't go far, okay?"

"I'll be right here."

The departure was clean and smooth. Jaythen's piloting skills were improving with each and every practice. It didn't hurt that he soaked in information like a sponge. Always a quick learner.

Our almost three day journey was non-eventful aside from Jaythen continuing to feel the loss of leaving his friends on Coruscant. He only needed something to occupy his mind. I knew how difficult this was for him, but I also knew that we would see our friends again.

"Master, the ETA light is flashing. We're coming up on Kembar Lune."

I looked down at the blinking amber light, then at the computer screen, then out the window. That same feeling I always felt as I arrived home began to unravel. Excitement. Eagerness. Even a bit of nerves. This time, I truly was going home. "Almost home. Stay at the controls. I want you to land. We'll hit that same spot we always land. Although we may have to move the transport closer to where we ultimately end up living."

My apprentice gave me a puzzled look. "Aren't we staying with your parents?"

"For now, yes. I hope. I didn't tell them we were coming. They don't know about any of this. Though I'm sure they won't mind us staying. But we can't live in that tiny bedroom and we can't intrude on their lives for too long. We'll be building a place of our own. I've some ideas. You'll have your own bedroom. And if we have enough materials, I'd like to build a separate exercise area. It would be helpful if we had a place to practice our sparring and kata's and such in private. We'll see what happens. You've not been here during the winter, which comes in a few months, so the cold might be an issue. One of my ideas is to figure out how to insulate our house well enough. Noma's and all tribes on Kembar Lune have adapted to the cold over generations. We get cold of course, but it not as quickly as humans and others do."

"Will I get to help build?"

"You will be helping with just about everything. Welcome to the life of chores! Between training and therapy, you'll be busy with the chores of maintaining a home and the land and animals that come with it. It's hard work to keep a place running. But you'll have plenty of free time too. It's a different life we're entering into. And we'll have to find how to maintain our Jedi life at the same time."

Jaythen listened and spoke to me without taking his eyes off the task of landing. It was good to see him able to focus on two things at once. For a long time after I brought him home, that type of concentration alluded him. Now if we could only relax his fear of the force, I could let the rest of my anxiety go.

"It sounds like a life I can be good at, Master. I like to work hard. I don't know if I'll be good at building things, but you can teach me. And I'll study and learn how to do all those things you can do."

I put a hand on his shoulder. "I know you'll work hard, Padawan. I'm excited for us. This is so right. Any doubts I may have had before, are no longer." Taking a deep breath, I let out a short laugh. "Take us in, Jaythen. Home awaits."

~*~

The landing had a brief patch of roughness, one that Jaythen managed nicely after realizing his error. We grabbed our bags and secured the ship. I'd return tomorrow and send word to Kaai and Master Yoda that we arrived safely. I found myself hurrying down the ramp, almost leaving Jaythen behind. Sometimes I forget how small he is. Those legs just don't cover ground like mine do.

We trekked the fifteen minute hike to my parents' house. It was quiet this time of evening on the outskirts of the village. Most of the children would be finishing up late day chores before darkness settled in. A few riders trotted past, bellowing a greeting to me in our native language. I eyed the paddock as we approached, catching a glimpse of my horse, Flash. No sign though of Jaythen's horse, Saber. I wondered briefly. Jaythen wondered, then worried. It would have been nice to offer him comfort through the force, but I had to continue to resist until I knew he could accept it without distress. Instead, I leaned down and whispered to him. "I'm sure she's fine. They would have sent word to us otherwise. Don't worry. Let's go inside and surprise my anya."

We walked inside the house. The smell of homemade cooking overwhelmed my senses. Turning the corner to the kitchen, I saw her taste testing her latest culinary adventure. She peered at us from the corner of her eye and jumped. The wooden spoon splattered and rattled to the floor. "Damn it Tana! You should warn an old woman before you sneak into her kitchen!" Her mock anger didn't last and she hurried to me and hugged me close. She did the same to Jaythen, followed by a kiss on his cheek. She picked up the spoon then and put hands on her hips. "Now, what are you doing here? It's too early for another visit. Did you manage to wrangle time off from the Jedi?"

"We are here to stay, Anya. Kembar Lune is home for us now."

The spoon fell to the floor again and her mouth fell open. Then she managed, "You should know better than to tease me like that, Tana."

"No teasing. Honest."

"You left the Jedi?"

"No, not entirely. It's more of a part-time duty. We've had a very difficult few months. To put it simply, Jaythen has been through hell. I promise I will explain in full once Pai is here. I'd rather not go through the story twice. We are here to recover. To build. To live. We still have our Jedi duties. But…I am home, Anya. I really am."

Again, she launched herself into my arms, this time crying with joy. This was the greatest gift I could ever have offered her.

Once she released me, I explained our living situation. "If you don't mind, we'd like to stay in the extra space while we build. I plan to build us our own home."

"I will help too." Jaythen gave a proud look.

"That you will, Padawan. Anya, if you wouldn't mind us intruding for a time?"

She tossed the words away with her hands. "Intrusion? Nonsense! Stay as long as you wish. And as far as building a hours, I'm sure your pai can find a few able bodies to help in that area."

Briefly, she turned back to stir her supper. Jaythen took the opportunity to ask, "Neeyla, I didn't see Saber in the paddock with Flash. Is she okay?"

"She certainly is, Jaythen. She's in the new barn that Ihaani built. I have something to show you just as soon as my stew is finished. Go drop your bags in your room. Get washed up. Settle in. And for goodness sake, get out of those Jedi clothes. Put on something comfortable. All that heavy fabric and wrapped sleeves and layers."

"The fabric is quiet comfortable, Anya. We…"

She turned, grinning as she threatened us with her cooking spoon. "Go. Now. Do as your mother says. Both of you."

In an uncanny unison that made us all laugh, Jaythen and I bent our heads at the same time and said, "Yes, ma'am" as we left the kitchen.

~*~

My father was due back later in the evening. It wasn't out of the ordinary for the duties of a chief to take him away for days at a time. According to Neela, he'd been gone for the good part of a week. No doubt he would be happy to see his son had come home. As we packed our possessions away and changed into our more casual training clothes, Neela found us, sans spoon.

"You boys are taking your time, aren't you? I finished my stew thirty minutes ago. Come on now. We're going to the barn."

We didn't argue and followed her out the door, behind the house and a short hop away to a sturdily constructed piece of wood and clay. From the outside, it seemed large enough to house five or six horses, with room to spare. Neela pulled the door open and swung it wide.

I made an obvious observation. "Smells like a barn." Jaythen and anya just stared at me. "Well it does!"

Then the sound of a horse - a whinny that my apprentice would know anywhere. What followed it though made his eyes light up. A higher pitched squeal. A sound that could only be associated with one thing. Jaythen hurried to the middle stall. There he found his beloved horse, Saber, in all her plain brown beauty. Next to her stood the most adorable four-legged animal I'd ever seen.

"Saber! Master, Saber had a foal!" Despite his excitement, he approached his friend cautiously, wanting to make sure it was okay that he approach the baby. Saber pushed her head into his chest and nickered softly. Jaythen hugged her neck fiercely. "I missed you, girl. So much. I get to live here now, so we'll be together a lot. And now you have someone to keep you occupied when I'm not around. He's beautiful, Saber." She tossed her head to agree then pushed the little colt from behind, encouraging him to investigate her master. He did.

The tiny guy was indeed beautiful. Although he held not the markings of either Saber or Flash, who I found out from Anya was the foals sire. Instead, this baby was all his own. His entire body was a mishmash of white, black and bay. No color was dominate, even his mane and tail was splashed with multi-colors. He was 'painted' as any Noma would tell you. I did recognize that intelligent eye though. Saber had it. This guy had it. And as he placed his nose into Jaythen's palm, then snorted all over it, I knew immediately that these two would get along just fine.

Neela watched their meeting with joy. Almost as if she knew this exact moment was meant to be. She hadn't even known we were coming home, but some part of her expected something like this. She nodded forwarded. "He's only a five days old. No name yet. Ihaani doesn't know he was born, although he suspected Saber's time was coming. So, Jaythen how would you like to name the little man?"

"Hmm, I'd like that. I have to think about it though. He's so different from his mom and his dad. I think he'll be small, like Saber is. But strong too."

"He was born on twin full moons, Jaythen. You know how powerful a meaning that is for our people. It's a time of great spirits that arise and protect us. He should have a name that lives up to that."

Jaythen heeded Anya's words and pursed his lips together as he thought. The colt gratefully accepted a scratch behind his ears, tilting his head to one side for deeper contact. Then, Jaythen had it.

"That's it! His name is Spirit. It's perfect."

We all nodded in unison. Saber included. I smiled at how quickly horse and master had reformed their bond. To see Jaythen now, one would never have guessed the trauma he'd gone through. The trauma that he was still going through. He was at peace and as happy as I had seen him a very long time. I hated to end it, but it had been a long day to end our long journey. We both needed food and rest. He said goodnight to Saber and newly named Spirit. We stopped by to greet Flash in his paddock on the way back. He looked annoyed. But that was him. He'd grown since I'd seen him last. A full-fledged stallion. For safety reasons though, he was being kept from the baby for a time.

In the house, we had a late meal of meat stew. It was dark already; the first few hours here had already flown by. I was pleased to see that Jaythen had a good appetite. He still was a bit thin, even for him, so it was encouraging. The stew was interrupted by a baritone voice. My father. My Pai. Chief of the Noma people. Ihaani Kresson. He was decked out in his tribal gear, obviously coming from a meeting with the other chiefs of various tribes. Fatigue showed on his aging deep reddish-brown face. Nevertheless a broad smile lit that face when he saw who sat with his wife at the table.

Neither of us said a word as I got up and went to him. We held each other tightly for a long moment. Then, he held me away. "My son. You look well." Eyes fell on Jaythen, grinning shyly, mouth filled with food. He waved a fork-filled hand at my father. Pai laughed. "No waves, boy. Get over here." Jaythen did and was quickly tangled in large strong arms that lifted him several feet off the ground before letting him go. I noted silently that there was no flinching from the touch. A positive sign for Jaythen's continued recovery.

Once my learner was deposited back on the floor, Ihaani sat and moved a heaping bowl of stew to his attention. He ate with vigor. Second and third helpings were downed with as much enthusiasm. Jaythen watched in awe, but looked away when Ihaani smirked at him. Finally the big man sat back, patted his stomach and said, "Now that that is done, back to you two."

I didn't hesitate. "We're here to stay. To live. Still Jedi, but this is our new home. I promise I'll explain everything once Jaythen is settled in bed."

And so that was the plan as Jaythen and I returned to our room. "I'll be up for a while, talking with my parents. No need for you to stay up. I know you're tired."

He looked worried. I was certain he was concerned over the details that I would tell to Neela and Ihaani about events of the recent past. I tried to calm those feelings. "They need to know the basics, Jaythen. I promise I won't get into the deeply emotional details with them. And you know that the information won't go any further than them. It's important that they know where not to step so we can avoid any backwards movement in your recovery. It'll be okay." Pulling his shirt over his head, he moved slowly. I checked the scars on his back, with most of my attention going to the erratic circular one around his neck. Terran had told me to keep an eye on it for any change. The open wounds there had long since healed, but neither of us knew if there were any lasting effects of the collar. The physical scar, still red in color, would be with Jaythen for the rest of his life. It was the emotional and mental scars that were always the bigger concern. "Scars look all right. Try and get some sleep. I'll be right outside in the living area if you need me."

I left him, seeing the snatch of a shadow walking away from our door. Neela had walked by and seen the scars, I knew. Questions and concerns would follow.

The couch was empty, but the chairs were not. My parents took residence there, watching me. Each had a warm brew of tea in their right hands. A cup for me had been placed on the table directly in front of where they knew I would sit. Where I always sat.

"Those scars must be painful for him, Tana," my anya said bluntly.

"He doesn't complain of any pain, so I have to take him on his word since I can't intrude into his mind. Let me explain."

"Me'da can help, perhaps even make the scars less noticeable. The man can do magical things with herbal rubs. We should have him stop by."

I held up a hand to halt her thoughts. Although it wasn't a bad idea. Perhaps there was some lingering pain in those scars. Jaythen was not a boy to complain about anything, so it was possible that he was holding out on letting me know that there was some discomfort. I would address that later. For now, I began the story from the beginning. From when Jaythen was lost, to my time searching for him and worrying for him. Then, onto finding him and the recovery. As promised, I left out the more emotional details, but did make them aware of his fragility around the force. My mother was partially force sensitive. She rarely tried to utilize it, but on occasion she did experiment. I asked her to refrain from that for a while, to which she whole-heartedly agreed to. My father was more angry than anything. Angry that the people who did this had not yet been caught and that they had sick enough minds to do this to a child. Nevertheless, they both understood now what Jaythen had been put through and would avoid anything that might curtail the progress he'd made. I also explained our new living situation. Still Jedi, and Jaythen had to continue his training, but we were allowed to live our own lives. Assigned some missions, but based off Kembar Lune. And our visits to Coruscant would be mandatory, but no more than six times per year.

"Jaythen misses his friends, Eryck and Obi-Wan. As well as my former master, Kaai, who you both know very well. But there he's exposed to more negative than positive. The council would never let him go and just leave the Jedi. It would be dangerous to him and to them. So this compromise allows them to keep tabs on him and at the same time, lets him free himself of the constant angst and difficulty of the temple. He was worried about me telling you all of this. He's always sensitive to what others know about his inner issues. And when others know, they tend to treat him differently. Not his real friends of course, but too many others to keep count."

Pai drained his cup and nodded gently. "We understand, son. We wouldn't dare betray his trust and what happened to him makes him no less a person than if this hadn't happened. I'm just worry it did. I wish you had informed us of this sooner."

"I thought about it," I sighed. "But decided it was best not to. Neither of you needed the worry wondering what might or might not happen. And once I did find him, well it's been a long hard recovery for us both."

"As we can see. You look tired and drawn. There's no health in your face. Living here will restore that."

"That it will, Pai. And that brings me to…" I stopped. I felt a push into my mind. It was very mild, but very troubled. Jaythen. My cup tumbled from my hand, spilling on the floor as I sprinted from the couch through the house and into our room. It was dark. So dark. But I found my way to his side, grabbing his flailing hand. Close behind me, Neela carried a set of candles to illuminate the room. She set the candles down and retreated.

"Master…" His young voice was small and terrified. I sat down and put an arm around him. His words continued, quickly tumbling out. "So dark, Master. I got scared. I'm sorry. I dreamed of that place. It was so dark where they kept me. No light except when they came to hurt me. I didn't know it was so dark here. I got used to the lights at home. I don't ever want to think of that place again. So dark."

I lay my chin on top of his head. "I should have thought about that, Padawan. I'm sorry. You're okay to be scared. That's normal. We'll make sure we have plenty of candles from now on. Relax your breathing. Focus on the breathing exercises that Terran taught you. Remember, when you wake from a nightmare, remember what he showed you?"

He did remember. And he quickly found the rhythm needed to settle. The trembling stopped and his body lessened some of its tension. "That's perfect, Jaythen. Just like he taught you." I held him close for a few more minutes until he sat up and moved his legs off the side of the bed.

"I need to get up for a bit, Master. Can I sit with you on the couch?"

"Sure you can." I followed him out offering a careful look to my parents to let them know everything was okay. They'd both seen him in distress, wishing to help, but knowing it was best if they not interfere. Again I took my usual spot on the couch while Jaythen lay horizontally to me, his head cushioned by a small pillow against my left hip. Neela placed his sleeping quilt over him and the small body curled into it. More for my own sake, I kept an arm around him, my hand settling on his side. I sipped on my newly brought cup of coffee and apologized by my anya for spilling the last. She waved her hand. It wasn't a big deal.

My pai decided the silence was too much, and he started a lighter conversation. "Neela tells me that you've got plans to build your own house?"

"We do. I've many ideas. Not sure how many of them will become reality. The most difficult part will be finding the right place to build. I'd like it to be someplace where we can land our transport ship safely without intruding on anyone. But where we can keep it close enough for easy access."

"Not a problem, T'narr. I've got several places that might work. And seeing as I am the chief, I can probably allow you to build most anywhere."

"True, Pai, but I don't want to cause a stir. No favoritism, huh?"

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Sometimes you are no fun at all. I promise no favoritism. We'll scout it tomorrow. It's a rest day for me after all the travel."

"I'd like there to be enough land for a house, a small barn, paddock, shed and a separate training structure that we'll use for training purposes. We'll keep our horses at our place for the most part. But when we have to leave the planet, we'll drop them off here. If that's okay?"

"Don't see why not. After all, that's my colt that Saber spit out while I was gone. I stopped in the barn to put up my horse. A small but sturdy little man. He'll be a good one."

I suspected my father would have an attachment to the foal. But I also hoped that Jaythen would get a hand in raising him. "Jaythen named the foal, Pai. Spirit. Both he and Saber seem to like it. I'm sure Jaythen would love to help rear him. Good lessons. There's a lot of work in raising a young horse."

Neela chimed in. "A lot of work in raising a young boy too. He's sound asleep."

I looked down. Indeed my learner was sleeping deeply, knowing he was safe and secure. "I should have thought about the dark affecting him. On Coruscant it's never completely dark. There are always lights somewhere. So it wasn't a problem. He alerted me through the force this time though. Faintly, but there. That's a step. We'll take what we can get." My finger traced the side of his face then settled again on his arm. It was at that instant that I felt the weight of these last months slamming me down. Sleep was a necessity. "I need to turn in. I don't think I've had a solid night of rest in many a month. Anya, can we have plenty of candles?"

"As many as you need. I've taken to making my own recently. One of the women from the Chakora tribe traded her talent for quilt making. We had quite a day exchanging ideas. I'll bring several more in, enough to last the night."

My body ached slightly as I stood. I lifted my padawan carefully, not wishing to wake him. He didn't stir a notch as I deposited him on his bed. We set candles in each of the four corners of the room. Out of the way but providing plenty of light. Too much light for my own tastes, but this wasn't about me. Not long after I swapped my training clothes for bed clothes, I was following Jaythen into deep slumber.

~*~

Tbc…


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

~*~

The dull pounding noise was determined and monotonous. Why anyone would be whacking away at something this early in the morning was beyond me. I woke groggily to find the sound and stop it. Jaythen wasn't in his bed. I felt the need to worry, but didn't. He was in good hands here. I hoped it wasn't him making that racket. My bare feet scuffled through the house as I realized how well I must have slept. My brain has only ever felt like mush on mornings when I've had a truly deep and uninterrupted sleep, which happened so rarely anymore. That damn noise was driving me mad though.

Outside the sun blasted me in the face and I cursed it. I thought I saw something in the distance. A something that was causing all that noisy ruckus. It was…Jaythen? And Pai?

It certainly was. And it wasn't early morning. Judging by the position of the sun, it was just past noon. I'd slept away half a day and no one woke me. I was ever grateful. Still, they needed to stop that pounding. My eyes finally adjusted to the sun and I came up on them, stilling my father's arm in mid motion. He dropped the axe in exaggerated fashion, always having to put on a show for my padawan.

"That was a bit much, Pai. What are you two doing? And why are you making so much noise?"

My surprisingly bright-eyed padawan said, "We're building a portable fence for the paddock. That way Saber can spend time with Flash, but still be near her baby. It'll separate Spirit from them, but he won't be nervous because he'll still be able to see and smell his mom. Smart idea, isn't it, Master?"

"Very. I didn't know you still had it in you, Pai, to think of things like this," I chided my father.

He grunted and picked up the axe again. "Don't look at me. It was your boy's idea. Sharp mind he has there."

Jaythen looked proud. There was no sign of the terrified boy from the night before. I was relieved that the fear didn't linger into the next day. He was able to recover much quicker now from difficult nights.

"Master, you don't have shoes on. You shouldn't be around an axe without shoes. It's dangerous."

I gave him a look. Pai gave me a look that said my student was correct. I wasn't going to win any battles with these two teamed up against me. So they took pity on me and called an end to the building session. Ihaani put a hand on my back and pointed me back inside the house. "Get dressed for what's left of the day and we'll go scout some potential building spots. I'll saddle the horses."

When I came back out, I found Flash and Saber ready to go. My father's old mount, Sky, was also ready. Tied to Saber's saddle was a lead rope, which in turn attached to the halter of her foal. Spirit was getting out to see the world for the first time in his six day life. I snorted at seeing the lead rope. "He won't need that rope, Pai. You know he'll follow his mother. And Saber won't dare leave Jaythen's side."

"Probably right, but humor me. Jaythen, you okay to ride?"

"Yes, Chief. I just need help getting into the saddle."

"I got you." Ihaani cupped his hands together to give the boy a leg up. Jaythen was unstable for a moment, but when Saber visibly relaxed her back, he was able to sit better. A smile came to my lips as I recalled Jaythen's address to my father. When he'd first met him, he didn't know what to call the older man. Knowing Ihaani, he'd have been okay with Jaythen calling him Pai, as I did. But that never felt right to my learner. He tried calling him Ihaani. That wasn't comfortable either. Finally one day, on our second visit to Kembar Lune, he'd referred to him as simply 'Chief'. It stuck. Jaythen was probably the only one in the galaxy however that could get away with calling him that. It was their thing. It warmed me to see that they had such a solid and growing relationship. It was that important to me that my parents have a chance to love my padawan and he have a chance to love them.

I checked the girth on Saber and put my hand on Jaythen's leg. "Slowly, young man. Understand? You don't yet have the leg strength to do anything stressful."

"Yes, Master."

My hands drifted to Saber, I looked her in the eyes. "That goes for you too, lady. No playing around today. Got it?"

It always unnerved me when Saber tossed her head up and down as if responding to a yes or no question. Oddly enough though, her nod was reassuring.

We hit several places. All promising, but I felt something missing from each of them. The final place we visited was almost too perfect though. It was up the hill from my parents' house. A ten-minute horse- jog away. It was on the lake shore. A nature-made rock pile just off to the west. Ideal for a landing sight and providing our ship with a little protection too. The land was fertile and mostly flat. Lots of grassy areas for the horses. The only downside was that being so close to the shore, we'd get wicked winds during storm season. We would have to account for that in our construction and insulation.

"It's ideal, Pai."

"It is. You took note of the closeness to the lake though. You know what that means."

"I do. But I think we can make up for that. If we corner the house just so, that'll take the brunt of the winds. And we'll just add additional support to that part of the house. I need the house to be well insulated anyway, so this gives me an extra excuse. What do you think, Jaythen?"

"I think it's beautiful, Master. And it's not too far from the main part of the village. I can see many of the houses from here."

"And does your horse like it?"

Another head toss. Jaythen laughed out loud when Spirit echoed his mothers' sentiments and tossed his head up and town too. Horses!

"I guess that's a double yes. It's a keeper, Pai."

"Then it's yours, son. I'll bring some men up to help you with the heavy work. I'll send some out to fall the trees we'll need. And we'll replace them with saplings. As for insulation, there's a green clay that we've found in the last year that works wonders when mixed into a paste. You tell me exactly what you want, and I'll be sure it's what you get."

"Thank you, Pai. That means a lot. I'd like to get started as soon as possible. Now one thing, Jaythen has never tasted our winters, and he's more susceptible to the cold. Might it be too much to have a fireplace put in what will be his bedroom?"

Pai thought it over for a minute, figuring any problems in his head. "We can manage that. In fact, we'll put one in the bedrooms and in the living area. And we'll put his bedroom as far away from the lake as we can, and insulate it well. I'll take care of you, Jaythen. Don't worry."

Jaythen smiled. It hadn't taken him long to start feeling at home here. And he'd have plenty to do in the upcoming weeks. Somehow though we would have to work therapy, both physical and emotional, and Jedi training into the busy schedule ahead.

Pai rode off ahead to start his men on getting materials ready. He'd have no trouble finding an enthusiastic crew, after all, he himself helped most of them in the building of their own homes. Jaythen and I dismounted and sat on the shore. The horses a short step away munching on grass.

The sand was warm in the sun, welcoming us.

"Master, I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to interrupt your time with your parents."

"There's no sorry, Jaythen. You are still recovering from a horrible event. Things will happen. But you know what you did? You called to me through the force. It was quiet, but I felt it. That was great, Padawan. You did it on your own, with no coaxing. That took a lot of courage."

He shrugged. "I was scared. No, I was terrified. I thought I was there again, Master. I really did. I thought that I had only dreamed you and Master Kaai and Ercyk and Obi-Wan. I thought that collar was still on me. I was afraid to call on the force. I knew that collar would shock me and hurt me again. I don't know how I called to you. Maybe I stopped thinking about it for a second is all." A wipe to the eyes. "I was so scared, Master."

I kept telling myself that all of this was normal. It's what Terran would tell me. It's what the trauma healers would tell me. It still hurt to hear it again though. Especially after he'd come so far in the months since coming back to us. Part of me wanted to be done with this. For everything to just go back to the way it was. At times, it was exhausting of my mind and my heart. Yet as tiring as it was for me, all I need do was look at the boy beside me. A small, thin, ten-year-old boy. Innocent as they come. Abducted and abused, for reasons we still do not know. Possibly for the simple reason that he was a Jedi. The other boy that had died in that basement, I often thought about him and what could have been had we not found Jaythen when we did. No matter how difficult this had been and continued to be, I had my padawan safe at my side. Alive. Recovering. Safe.

Reaching over I pulled him to me. Seems I did a lot of that in these last months. The physical touch seemed to help the both of us. Jaythen sucked in several deep breaths but didn't try to move from my hold. "Thank you, Master," was all he said.

Our ride home was quiet and slow. He was tired. Using muscles that hadn't been used since we were last here, in legs that were still sore. But Jaythen never complained. And that reminded me of something. As we unsaddled the horses and rubbed them down, I asked him about his back.

"Jaythen, the scars on your back, is there any pain there? Looking at them last night, everything looks okay, but there was a lot of bruising there at one time. Is there any pain or discomfort?"

He looked at me, looked away and looked at me again.

"Be honest with me about this, Padawan. If you are having pain, we need to have Me'da look. I think he can help you." No response. So I gave him a gentle but stern, "Jaythen."

"Yes, Master. I do have pain there. I'm sorry for not telling you. But you have so much to worry about. With me and all my problems, and then getting ready to come here. I didn't want to bother you with this. I've been managing it. It's not as bad as it was a couple weeks ago."

"First of all, you are not a problem. And second of all, you can't keep this from me, Jaythen. Especially since we can't communicate through the force right now. I can't feel your pain. And if I can't feel it, I can't help you."

His head hung and I knew that he was getting emotional.

"It hurts now, doesn't it?"

He nodded without lifting his head. I walked two steps to him and wrapped my arms around the thin body. "Jaythen, please don't hide these things from me. There's no reason for you to suffer pain simply because you don't want to burden me."

He muffled a sob into my chest. The pain was worse than I thought then. How he'd hidden it this well, I had no idea. "Tell me where it hurts the most, Padawan."

"My neck…and between my shoulder…blades," came his stuttering, garbled reply.

"Probably where the collar did most of its damage then. I'll have Me'da come tomorrow. I'm sure he can help." I held him a moment longer, rubbing my hands in circles on his back. Careful to go lightly. "It's all right, Padawan. Everything will be okay."

Eventually we retreated from the barn to the house. I helped him change into a clean pair of soft clothes and ordered him to bed, no matter that it was early evening and still daylight outside. Exhaustion had taken him, emotionally and physically. His recovery perhaps was not as far along as I had thought.

~*~

Pai had sent word for Me'da to come that morning. It was good to see him again though I was surprised to see streaks of gray had begun weaving through his dark hair. He was my father's age and had served as the Noma's medicine man – or shaman - since I was a child. There were few I trusted more to be gentle and understanding of Jaythen's condition. I'd given him a quick summary of the injuries suffered and he immediately went to task.

"Jaythen, lay on your stomach." Shirt already off, my padawan did as instructed. Large soft hands fluttered across the boy's bare back. I saw Me'da's face clinch several times. "Knots. Everywhere. You can see them without even touching. His discomfort has been severe at times, I am sure. T'narr, take his right hand but watch my hands. I have a rub that is especially designed for muscle tension resulting from injury. It's based in tree sugar, kelp weed and rye flower. It's chilly to the touch, but warms quickly. However it must be applied in a particular pattern to work to the full affect. You will massage this into his back at least once a day, twice if the pain is severe on that day."

He began his ministrations. Healing rub dripped onto Jaythen's back. Healer's hands pressed flat, first fingers touching so that the hands were held in a triangle-like angle. Fingers bent up and pressed down. Firmly but carefully. Jaythen whimpered with each motion, but he kept remarkably still. My grasp on his hand tightened, though I kept my eyes on Me'da's powerful hands. This would soon be my task and I had to be certain I did it correctly.

The medicine man continued to work his way in straight lines up and down. "You move from shoulder to waist then back up the same path. Move your hands over slightly and do the same there. Work around his spine, focus on the muscles." Once he'd completed one turn of Jaythen's entire back, he moved to the neck area. "The scarred area here on his neck is where most of this discomfort generates. It's where the pain started and where it was focused. You'll work his entire neck." Carefully, red hands massaged the skin under the chin, over the shoulder blades and to the base of his neck. More of the rub was used there than anywhere. "The rub is oily because of the kelp weed, but not overly so. Work it in well and it won't be much bother."

The pain was more intense when Me'da bothered Jaythen's neck, and I had to work to keep him calm and unmoving. His head turned to the right, laying flat on the pillow, water blurred his vision and his struggle was immense. I leaned forward and pressed my temple to his but it was the Me'da who spoke as he finished his work. "You are very brave for a young one, Jaythen. Great courage you show, not only in dealing with the now, but in your handling of this pain for so long. It's important though that you not hide this any longer. It could cause permanent damage to your muscles if not treated. So, you work with your master to make sure the rub and massage is done correctly, all right?"

Green eyes found mine as I pulled a few inches away. My apprentice, his face twisted in pain managed a response to the red healer. "I promise. I…won't hide anymore. Hurts. Master."

Again I set my temple to his and squeezed his hand.

"The pain will dwell for several moments. As the rub warms, it will lessen. To heal, unfortunately there must be some distress. Me'da cleaned his hands and stood. "I'll provide you with a fresh batch of rub once a week. If there are any complications or other issues, send for me immediately. I leave him in your capable hands, T'narr."

I allowed my parents to thank Me'da for me as I couldn't bring myself to budge from Jaythen's side until the pain was better. And it did get better. Just as Me'da had said. The warming progressed and within five minutes, I could feel my padawan's fingers relaxing in my grip. He pushed himself onto his side. "I'm okay now, Master. Thank you."

"I hate to put you through that every day, but if it helps..."

"I don't know why I hid my pain, Master. I guess I thought I could do it on my own. And a lot of times, it didn't feel that bad. If I focused on other things, I could forget it was even there. I hate my scars," he finished off with disgust. A rare emotion for him. It surprised me and my eyes widened. I didn't often hear him grumble about things.

I pushed him a little. It wouldn't hurt for him to be mad once in a while. "Do you hate them for that they look like or for what they represent?"

"Both. It hurts to look at them. I don't like what they did to me, Master. I wish I understood why they did it."

"No, you probably don't want to know that. They are sick people, Jaythen. Not worthy of your thoughts."

"Maybe they've already caught and hurt another boy like me. I think about that boy that was in the basement with me. I didn't know him but I felt a bond to him even though he was already dead. I knew his suffering and how horribly he must have died. So alone. No one came to rescue him. What was his name, Master? I should remember, but I can't. I know you told me."

"Darrus."

"Darrus. I'll remember that. I can't ever forget him. He deserves to be remembered."

"That he does, Padawan. It's nice of you to honor his memory."

He said nothing more as he got up and dressed. Neela had made breakfast, but Jaythen didn't stop to eat. Instead, he went out to the barn. I let him go. I figured he needed time to himself. Truth be told, I needed the same. As much as I loved my padawan, as much a son as he was to me, the constant caring and worrying for him had begun to get under my skin. I found myself forcing down my own frustrations I'd begun feeling when he had another emotional period. Wondering why he wasn't better by now. Why he couldn't just pick himself up, dust himself off and return to what he once was.

I needed to throw myself into the force. These were not healthy feelings and they weren't intentional. But they where there. A big part of the problem was being so cut off from the force. I stayed so far away from it when I was around Jaythen that I found it difficult to reconnect when I was alone. I needed time. I needed a day. A day to myself.

Bringing myself to leave his side for that long was the difficult part.

But I was determined to do it - for both our sakes. And I knew it had to be now.

I stood in the kitchen. "Anya, can you keep an eye on him today? I need to get away and I think he needs to be away from me for a short time."

"Certainly I can. Where will you go?"

"I'll take Flash and just ride. I need to clear my head and my heart of negative feelings. I need to find myself and the force again. I can't do that right now near Jaythen."

She understood me. She always did. But like a mother, she worried for us both. "You'll be okay, I know. And you do need time. I can feel it in you. Jaythen too needs time. It's not a bad idea for you to be away from him. It's healthy for him. Though you should be certain he knows that this is not his fault. He takes a lot of weight on his shoulders. The last thing he needs is to think that he's hurt you in some way, so much so that you had to run away from him. Just let him know before you leave."

"I will. I will leave shortly. I'll be back late this evening though. Can you…"

"I will make sure the candles in the bedroom are lit."

I smiled. She knew me so well. I went to the barn. Jaythen sat on the straw covered floor, inside Saber's stall. He stroke Spirit's face as the little foal lay flat on his side, eyelids bobbing up and down. Approaching quietly, I knelt outside the open stall door. "Padawan," I said softly.

"Yes, Master." Jaythen didn't look up at me.

"I need to go away for the day. Just to get some air. Neela will be around if you need anything."

"Okay, Master."

"Don't stress yourself too much today."

"I won't." He finally turned his green eyes to me and said bluntly, "Are you mad at me, Master?"

"No. I'm mad at myself for many things right now. Feelings. Concerns. Things I could have done or should have seen. I need a little time for me, Jaythen. And I need time for the force. I've missed it. I've missed our bond through it. It's nothing you've done. I just need time away."

He chewed his bottom lip and wiped his nose. Then, a long deep breath. "Be careful, Master. Please." Then he turned his attention back to the dozing colt.

I saddled Flash and pushed him hard away from the paddock. It felt like he needed this too, as his stride hit a length I'd never felt before. He ran hard, dipping and diving around trees and rocks. The wind blew hard through his long mane. A long needed joy filtered through me at the freedom that a ride like this brought. Jaythen would one day know and cherish this feeling.

An hour later, we slowed to a walk. I dropped the reins and let Flash follow his own path. I reached out with all my senses, mingling them with my desperate intake of the force. How I'd missed this connection. Everything seemed so clean and bright. The headache I'd had for the last week vanished completely. Perhaps this is what I needed for Jaythen. To bring him out here - away from everything to focus on his force recovery. I would suggest it to him. It could be the secret to the two of us finding that link to each other again.

Morning melted into afternoon and Flash and I kept on. I hadn't felt so relaxed in a very long time. We stopped for a bite to eat at a freshwater stream. I speared a fish with an arrow and roasted it over a small fire. Not far away, Flash found tasty weeds and berries to nibble.

I stumbled on several old caves that I used to frequent when I was younger. I'd drag Master Kaai out here until he would finally give in and climb through the caves with me. Inside they were icy cold and the walls were marked with ancient spiritual carvings that I always found fascinating. I think Kaai humored me more than anything. I so enjoyed my time here, he tried to not be so cranky about things like saddles sores after our rides. I hadn't yet shared these caves with Jaythen. I would. That would be part of our journey. Once our house was built, we'd pack up and take a trip through the parts of Kembar Lune that I loved as a child. It would be good for us and it was something we needed. We needed to become one with the planet, to take in all its beauty.

We explored several more sites. An enormous hallowed out tree that was home to a family of Kooba's, a small canine with large ears, bushy tails and fire-red fur. They yipped their displeasure with our presence. Flash snorted towards them and took us away from the tree. Jaythen would enjoy the Kooba's.

Afternoon faded dimly into evening. The sun began its slide into slumber. My thoughts turned more and more back to my padawan. I'd come out here to forget about things. To not worry about him. To think of my own need to clear my head. Instead the more childhood jaunts I discovered, the more I wanted to share with him. The more I missed him. Part of me began to feel guilty for leaving him today even though I knew it had been the right thing to do. Perhaps I needed to rediscover the parts of Kembar Lune that I'd forgotten about in order to realize what I had replaced them with. I'd replaced them with a boy that I loved as if he was my blood-born son. Now I would share these things with him.

It was dark when we started back. I trusted Flash to know the path. These sturdy animals knew their land better than those who rode with them. He'd get me home safely. And sure enough, several hours later we plodded into the barn. After rubbing him down and filing his feed tub, I moved quietly into the house. A candle illuminated each room and I silently thanked Neela for being so aware of Jaythen's needs.

As I slipped into the kitchen to quench my thirst, there was a whisper behind me. "How was your ride, Tana?"

I sat across from my anya at the table as the room glowed softly in candlelight. "It was wonderful, Anya. Simply wonderful. I found so many of my favorite childhood places. I needed this day. Thank you for letting me get away. How is Jaythen?"

"He had a quiet day. He spent most of his time in the barn or in the paddock. He's teaching Spirit on the lead line. Had him going in circles and stopping on command. That boy is a natural with horses. And he adores that little beast. Gives Saber a break too. I forced him to eat something for lunch. He was much more receptive to dinner after the horses were put away, but became very melancholy this evening. He missed you. We talked for a while. He told me all the things you had helped him with these last months. How patient you had been with him. How much you had sacrificed for his sake. He so adores you, Tana. After the hell that was his early childhood, he finally found someone who accepted him for him and would stay with him through anything. It was a very heartfelt conversation. I almost felt like it was something he needed to say. Just to talk it out to another person. He's a lot more complex than I thought. A lot of that complexity is kept inside though. I'm so glad you got him away from that temple and that blasted city planet."

I offered her the most genuine smile I could manage just before I got up and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you, Anya. I'll check on him before I turn in."

~*~

The four corner candles flickered peacefully as I tried to change into my sleep clothes without waking my apprentice. I was almost completely successful. My foot slammed into the foot of the bed and I gasped in pain. "Damn it!"

"Master?" There's no more pitiful sound than a child woken from a sound sleep before he was ready. I cursed myself for disturbing him, but was grateful too. I sat on the side of his bed, rubbing my toe.

"Hi. Sorry I woke you."

"S'okay. I taught Spirit on the long line today."

"So I heard. You can tell me all about it tomorrow."

"'kay. G'night, Master."

"Good night, Padawan."

~*~

My first attempt at the massage rub was novice at best. Jaythen lay as still as possible, but I knew I was hurting him. I tried to distract him. "Tell me about the colt, Padawan. You taught him on the long line yesterday?"

"Uh huh."

"Did he pick it up quickly or was it a lot of work?"

"He…umph…I walked him in circles for an hour, then…mmmm…just let the line go longer. He's really smart, Master." The whimpers between breaths made me flinch, but I continued. This was one instance when pain would actually be a beneficiary.

"I've visited some of my favorites places yesterday. Places that I used to drag Master Kaai to when I was an apprentice. Caves and creeks and wonderful old trees. We'll go there. You and I, once you are physically ready for a ride like that. We'll take a few days, just the two of us and explore. I didn't realize how much I missed those places. I can't wait to show you."

"I'd like that, Master. What about Spirit?" Another louder whimper that time.

"Well, he'll probably be strong enough by the time we make our trip. So, I don't see a reason why he won't be able to tag along. I can't imagine Saber allowing him away from her just yet. It's something to look forward to though." My hands finished his back and moved to the more sensitive area of the neck. I tried to be gentle.

"Master, did Master Kaai like to ride?"

I laughed at the memories that immediately came to mind. My tall, thin, bony, not-so-graceful master grumbling his way onto the back of a horse and through the forest. Mumbling that his horse was too small and that his feet were almost dragging the ground. Then, the image of him whapping his head on the roof of the caves while I scuttled out in front of him, maneuvering a much smaller version of myself with little trouble at all...

I came back from the memories realizing that I'd not answered the question I'd been asked.

"Jaythen, Master Kaai on horseback is one of the most entertaining things you'll ever want to see. He's not much for living on the land. His people are city born and bred. But he tried. I do give him credit. And as much as didn't enjoy his follies here, he made sure I was able to visit often enough. I will always appreciate him for that. He knew how important it was to me to maintain ties to my family and my home."

"And now you bring me here."

"I do. I think you'll fit in with the land much better than Kaai did. Perhaps we can get him here for a visit though. Maybe with a little prodding from you."

Jaythen giggled under his breath, while whining in pain at the same time. "I can make him feel sorry for me, you mean?"

"Well, there's an idea."

The rub finished, I instructed him to stay on his stomach until the ointment warmed and the momentary pain flared and burned itself out. I held his hand and he did his deep breathing. Before long he was sitting up and putting his shirt on. "What will we do today, Master?"

"I think you should work with Spirit again. I want to sketch out some basic plans for our house. I need to get to the ship and contact the temple. Let Yoda and Kaai know we're safe and sound. Neela has suggested some chores for you, things she could use help with on a daily basis. We have to figure out a time for physical therapy. And force therapy too." I saw him cringe at the thought. "We'll work into it slowly. I promise. But it's a point we need to hit. I think once you can relax your fear of the force, other things will come into focus for you. Trust me to help you, Jaythen. It won't be anything like what Kloon did do you. You remember the lessons we did before that, right? Where you reached into my mind?" He nodded. "That's the idea. Slowly and gently. I was able to reconnect with the force yesterday. I'd forgotten how powerfully it could affect me and how peacefully at the same time. I want you to have that so badly. Mostly though I miss our bond. We've shared such a rare gift with each other, being able to communicate completely through the force. So few Jedi are endowed with that power. We'll find it again. I know we will."

"I think so, Master. I will work hard to get there."

"I know you will."

"But, Master, that's a lot of things to do today. We'll be dead tired by nightfall."

"That's the idea. A tired body means less chance for bad dreams. Plus, that's just the way things are here. You work hard and the land appreciates it and rewards you. Come on now, we need a good breakfast before we start. And I need to find my old sketch pad that I stored here last time."

In recent years, I'd taking up the old art of drawing. I'd found some sketching tools that used lead as their outlet. My sketches were nothing awe-inspiring, but they satisfied my newly formed artistic need. I thought it a perfect way to figure exactly how we wanted this house of ours to be designed.

~*~

Tbc…


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

~*~

The day was indeed a busy one. Jaythen took to working with Spirit right after breakfast. I watched him for a short while. Was his a natural knack with animals or was Spirit just a special creature to learn so quickly? I didn't know the answer of course, but Jaythen seemed to move him easily from one thing to the next. If the colt had been older, I'd no doubt he'd already have a saddle on him and trained to respond to the reins. I shook my head and got started with my own work.

Midway through the day we engaged in a list of leg exercises that Terran had prescribed before we left Coruscant. The idea was to work every muscle evenly until full range and strength were appreciated. We had lunch. I did some sketching. Neela angled some of her daily tasks to Jaythen. Everything from whacking the dust from hearth-rugs, to learning the beginnings of candle making, to working the fruit crops in the land behind the cottage. As expected, Jaythen willingly worked hard and learned rapidly. Lunch was small but satisfying. My pai returned from the main village to grab needed items and then galloped out again. Autumn was a busy time on Kembar Lune, especially for the Chief. He did stop long enough to tell me that logs were already being hauled to the building site and that once my design was finished, a house would begin to ascend.

Late afternoon, I checked on Jaythen taking a rest under a shade tree. Saber and Spirit stood quietly next to him. No halters or lead ropes attached.

"Good idea, Padawan," I said as I sat down next to him. "This is an old tree. It's been here since Pai was your age. It's an Orm tree. Probably the best shade tree you'll ever find. You look a little tired."

He didn't disagree. "There's been a lot to do today. I didn't know Neela did so much. She's amazing. I'm glad to help her though."

"She's glad for the help, I'm sure. Did the horses just follow you out here?"

"Yes. Spirit got around the gate before I could close it. For a second I thought he would run off, but he just stepped next to me and followed. He's little, but he's smart."

"And he certainly likes you. You do well with the animals, Jaythen. A natural gift I think."

"Animals don't know my problems. They don't care. They just like me for me. I guess maybe that helps me understand them better. They don't judge me either."

It became more and more evident the Jaythen was wary of how people viewed him. The older he got, the more aware he became of the eyes on him when he got upset. The snickers from other padawans when he cried and things of that nature. He was right - the horses didn't care about any of that. They knew him for the care he gave them. And they responded to that. In a way, they offered him an escape, which is why he so easily flocked to their company.

Yes, being away from the temple was going to be a very good thing for him. The one issue I needed to be certain of however was that he didn't spend all his time with the horses. I hoped he would eventually find friendship with some of the Noma children his age. Perhaps they could teach each other about their ways of life. Jedi and Noma. It would happen eventually I knew. Just had to give it time.

For now, there were other matters. "You know we have to work a little with the force today."

His response was to chew on his lip. I saw the anxiety immediately. Shoulders tensed and his mood became more sullen. But he knew we had to go there. "Can we try it outside, Master? Maybe that would be better for me. Maybe less scary. Maybe Saber and Spirit can help me not worry so much."

It was an idea. "Perhaps. Would you like to try now?"

"I – I guess so."

"All right. You sit where you will. And I'll adjust accordingly. Find your most comfortable position."

Tapping his hand to his knee and clicking his tongue once at Spirit, my jaw dropped as I watched the tiny foal drop to his knees and then onto his side. Jaythen place a hand on the foal's neck. I had to admit to being stunned.

"Did you teach him that?"

"Yes, Master. He learned on the fifth try."

"Jaythen, that is… I don't really know what to say."

"He's a good horse, Master. Do you think your pai will be happy with him?"

"I think he'll want you cloned."

A soft giggle escaped and the lip biting stopped. He turned his back to me. We both sat legs crossed. My hands lay on his shoulders. His right hand lay on Spirit's neck.

Especially after Kloon's actions in the council chambers, I thought it best that Jaythen be the lead in this. I wouldn't try to enter his mind. I would let him come to me. And he did, after initial hesitation. A wary tendril reached me and stilled, almost as if asking permission to enter. My shields, my walls, were completely relaxed. Every negative thing in my head was vanished as Jaythen crept toward me. I could feel the effort behind it. I could feel the fear. I could also feel something that had been missing for a long time. Relief. The relief that he could come into my mind and feel so welcomed. We held the connection for several minutes, when he pushed a little harder. A word - no two words he directed to me.

_***Hi, Master.***_

I bit back a spot of laughter at the plainness of the words after such a difficult effort. I knew Jaythen had smiled as I could feel a brief lessening of tension in his shoulders. My urge to respond to him through the force was great, but I knew better. This huge step forward was just what he needed. It was up to me to not mess it up.

He withdrew – not hurrying away as he'd done in the past – but gently floating back to himself. When he was whole again, an enormous deep breath was released and the shoulders fell with it. I couldn't help it - I reached around him and pulled him back to me in a hug. I couldn't believe how much I'd missed that voice in my head. How much I longed for that connection. Jaythen lay back towards me for a second, laughing.

"I did it, Master! I did it!"

"You did, Padawan. I'm very proud of you." I reached forward and patted Spirit's face before he got up. "And you too, little guy. I think he helped relax you more, Jaythen, like you thought. I have no idea why, but I won't question it." Finally I let him go. "I wasn't expecting you to say anything to me, just a touch I was ready for."

"I was scared, but then I saw you beyond that fear and I concentrated on you. I knew you wouldn't let anything hurt me. And you didn't. It felt good, Master. I missed you."

His words almost brought tears to my eyes, they were so honest. I'd never been more proud of him than I was today.

"Maybe tomorrow you can try, Master."

"That's up to you, Jaythen. When you are ready for me to try and reach your mind, you let me know. We'll go at your pace. If you want to just do this same exercise for a while, that's fine. You have to be comfortable."

"I know. Maybe I'll try."

"Let's worry about that tomorrow. The sun is getting low. How about you put Saber and Spirit away for the night and we'll see what's cooking in Anya's kitchen. And I'll show you the sketch I did."

We ate and talked about my idea for the size and layout of the soon-to-be-built house. Anya watched us with joy. She knew we'd made a small breakthrough today.

As we discussed the house, Jaythen pointed out a problem. "There are only two bedrooms, Master."

"Well, there are only two of us, Padawan."

"What if we have a guest? What if Master Kaai comes to visit?"

I didn't want to set the odds of my old mentor voluntarily coming to Kembar Lune to bruise his rear end on a horse, even if Jaythen was able to con him into it. But he did have a point. We did hope to invite our friends here at some point. They would need a place to stay.

"So you're saying I need to add another room?"

"Yes," he said confidently." A guest room. It doesn't have to be large, but it should be comfortable."

"Very well." I scratched and drew and soon had a three bedroom home in front of me. My own room and Jaythen's room were next to each other, separated by the indoor bathroom that indented outward to allow for the toilet area of course. It was attached to the house, so the creepy critters that hounded the shack at my parents house, didn't invite themselves to ours. My room faced the lake. Not only allowing the watered breeze to sooth me to sleep, but to keep Jaythen's room more insulated. He'd be away from the water and would be on the west side for warming afternoon sun. It would benefit him come winter. The living area and kitchen would wall out from there. The third bedroom would stick in between Jaythen's and the kitchen. To the west side of the house would be the barn, paddock and exercise gym of sorts. And just to the west of that, between those structures and the rock pile, we'd keep our transport ship within our sights.

"You'll like having the ship so close do you can watch holo-vids on your data pad. The proximity to the ship will keep it powered up plenty for that."

"Master, I never thought of that!"

Neela gave me a humorous look. "But you did, right Tana? You get quite addicted to some of those holo-vids as well, as you've almost admitted as much to me in the past."

I felt a slight blush flustering me and I changed subjects. "This area here, just in front of your room, will be the guest room. But it's up to you to try and wrangle Kaai to come."

Again, my anya snickered a look. "That old man still going?"

"Anya!"

"What? He's got to be as old as these mountains around here. The crankiest horse rider I've ever seen. Did nothing but complain about his sore backside. A good man though, Tana. Don't get me wrong. I love him for allowing you to come home so often. For a city raised man, he did all right."

Jaythen I think knew we were having fun, but he felt the need to come to Kaai's aide anyway. "He's been a great support to us at the temple."

I put a hand on the boy's head to let him know things were fine – that no harm was intended by our light words. He accepted with a slight lowering of his head. A Jedi Padawan gesture of submitting to an authority when knowing he was in error. It surprised me coming from him at that moment, and surely wasn't needed. I chalked it up to the stress of recent months. "It's all in fun, Jaythen. Neela and Kaai get along quite well."

I had the feeling that he was suddenly embarrassed by his coming to the defense of my old mentor as he excused himself from the table in an awkward moment. "Master, I should get cleaned up for bed." Then he disappeared into the back of the house, leaving my mother and I puzzled. I shrugged.

"I have no idea what that was all about. It's unlike him. Perhaps it's just fatigue. It was a full day."

Anya turned back to me after watching Jaythen disappear. "Maybe. More so I think he's protecting those who have protected him. He's said a few things about you that make me seem that's the case. When we were talking today, I said a couple of things in jest, to keep things light. He would follow with telling me how well you took care of him. Like he had to defend your honor against something that was said. Probably he knows the comments aren't intended to offend, but his state of mind sees it both ways."

"I'll talk to him."

"Let it come up casually if you can. You don't want to make him think that he's doing something wrong."

I stood and kissed her forehead. "Your advice, Anya – as always – settles my mind. Thank you."

Jaythen was sitting on his bed, his legs hanging over the side. His right hand held a small object. It was something I'd not seen before. I sat next to him. "What's that?"

"Master Kaai gave it to me. He says it's a symbol of his people and is said to help bring peace to your mind. He said I had to rub it like this with my thumb and it would soothe me."

Glancing at the object it appeared to be some type of hardened wood shined so smooth that it resembled a piece of colored glass. It was beautiful. Jaythen's thumbed made continuous circular motions over the shiny surface and concentrated on his breathing exercises.

"Padawan, what's upset you?"

"I don't know, Master."

"You had a good day today, didn't you? You seemed to enjoy it although I know you're tired."

"I did. It was a wonderful day. I just got upset. But I don't know why I did. That doesn't make any sense though, does it?"

"Not really. Does it have anything to do with Neela and I joking about Master Kaai?"

He was quiet so I knew I'd found the nerve.

"What I said about it being all in fun – it was. Kaai would have been laughing with us. You know that."

"Yes. But it felt wrong to make fun of him like that when he's helped us so much."

I felt lost for words. There was a logic to Jaythen's thoughts. I just didn't know what to say to them.

"Master, things are more confusing now for me sometimes. I think…before…I would have laughed with you. But now…"

Using my mother's thoughts, I finally found my voice. "You feel like you want to protect him like he's protected you. Even if it's only from some silly words that he would probably have enjoyed as much as Neela and I did. Right?"

A nod. "Yes. But I don't know why I feel that way."

"Those people you trust, that you hold close, they're more important to you now than ever. I suspect it's just a normal reaction. We can ask Terran about it if you wish. I still need to call Coruscant and let them know we got here. I need to call Kaai too. Would you like to call him?"

He looked up at me, hopeful. "Can I?"

"Sure you can. You know you can call him anytime. He's always at the temple. I'm sure he'll relay the message to Obi-Wan and Eryck too that you arrived safely. Let's call now. It's too early for bed anyway."

The shiny object was placed on the shelf with his moon stone and the wooden horse carving. I still wondered at it. "Did Kaai tell you what that thing was called?"

"Didn't he give one to you when you were a padawan, Master?"

"Not anything like that."

"Well, he didn't give it a name. He just called it a smooth shiny thing."

I had to laugh at that. It was so Kaai. "Yes, that sounds like something he'd say. Come on. Let's take a walk to the transport."

It was a hike by foot, but the waning daylight was just enough to support us there. The walk back would be in complete darkness, but I knew the path quite well. Jaythen punched in the code to the temple communications, who in turn patched him through to Kaai. I sat back to allow my padawan to conduct the call.

"Kaai Dajani here."

"Master Kaai! It's Jaythen. We're on Kembar Lune."

The older voice on the other end was surprised and delighted. "Jaythen, my boy! Oh, it's good to hear from you and that you got there safe. How is everything so far?"

"As beautiful as ever. I've been working with the horses today."

"Ah, those blasted beasts? They hate me, you know that. Did I ever tell you about how much they hate me?"

Jaythen looked at me and giggled. "No, you never told me that."

"Well, those are stories for another time. How's my padawan doing? Did he put you into hard labor yet?"

Another laugh. Yes, this was a good idea. Jaythen needed this. "Well, his mom did. But I don't mind. I like to work hard."

"I've no doubt about that, my boy. None at all. Things are well here. Your friend Eryck got home today. Their mission was shorter than expected, but Marcus says they may have to go back. Eryck was going to send you a message on your data-pad. Don't forget to check. If I see him tomorrow, I'll let him know that all is well."

"Thank you, Master Kaai." There was a pause as Jaythen gathered himself. He tried to push his threatening emotions down for a moment. He was only half successful as his voice broke slightly with his next words. "I miss you, Master Kaai."

"I miss you to, boy. More than a little." I had no trouble picturing Kaai's face at the moment, what it would look like. An aged face conveying both sadness and joy.

Jaythen wiped his eyes. "I should go now. We have to call Master Yoda and Master Terran to check in, and it's getting late here."

"You be sure to call me again, boy. I mean it. Tell T'narr that I asked about him, will you? Goodnight to you, Jaythen."

"Goodnight, Master Kaai."

The connection was ended. Jaythen's heart had lightened.

"Feel better, Padawan?"

"Yes, Master. I guess just talking to the person you miss most at the moment can help."

"I think you're right. Scoot over. I'll deal with Yoda and Terran." Those two calls were easy. I left messages with Cressha, Yoda's aide, and spoke with Terran briefly. And that was that. We headed back to the house. The two moons were crescent shaped tonight so they didn't provide much light. Jaythen stayed close to me, to the extent that he kept a hand clutched to my tunic sleeve. Not in panic, though I knew the dark might worry him, but more to a comfort himself. When we got home, all the candles were lit in the bedroom. Anya.

We washed up and Jaythen settled into bed. I retreated to the living area for tea and conversation with my parents. Pai had just returned from another busy day, and rambled on until my eyes began floating back in my head.

~*~

The next two weeks moved along smoothly. Jaythen had more good than bad, but he still struggled. The massage rub was working. There was a lessening in the pain and discomfort, but it still flared at times. Me'da assured us that another month and my learner would be pain free in that area. We'd worked on force therapy every day. Progress there crept forward. But forward was the right direction. Jaythen would often put on the brave face and say that the next time he wanted to me to try and reach his mind. When the time came to try however, he decided against it. The memories and terror of what was pushed into his mind by force - using the force - still scarred him. The force had been used as a weapon against him. He'd been taught to fear it because it only brought pain and torture.

His forays into my mind however were moving ahead nicely. Hesitation was brief and once he was there, I could feel him settle and relax into an almost dozed state. He talked to me through our bond. Though the more he did, the more I missed being able to return the same. But I would not push his mind before he was ready. I would not betray the trust we shared by violating his fragile use of the force. I would wait patiently. Eventually we would get there.

The building of our home was also moving along smoothly. I was amazed at the speed, effort and care that the Pai's men put into this. A few of them I knew. Most of them I didn't. Didn't matter. They had been called to help a fellow tribe member. They went at it full force. Such was the way of our people.

I'd never back down from manual labor. Actually I'd missed it. Jedi didn't have much physical work to engage them. So I truly enjoyed getting dirty and tired with the lifting of logs, and mixing of insulating paste and the sort. Glass windows were brought in from the Chakora tribe. They were renowned on the planet for their glass making and melding abilities. We must have traded them something for these marvelous clear pieces that would not only allow penetrating sunlight, but would also help insulate against the cold. Pai had gone all out for us.

At the end of the two weeks, the house was completed. The barn, the paddock and the exercise structure too. It was spectacular. I thanked each and every one of the men and offered myself to assist if they ever needed a strong hand. I saw Ihaani take Jaythen's hand and lead him inside. I hurried to follow. It was mostly bare of course. I would have to either make or trade for furniture and other necessities. The living area was moderate but comfortable in size. The kitchen, traditionally the smallest room in a Noma home was small, but with enough room for an eating table. The guest bedroom was also small, but perfect for its purpose. Jaythen fell in love with his room immediately. The sun coming in from the large western-facing windows allowed for a light soaked section of the room. Depending on how he situated his bed, he could have a wonderfully relaxing mediation area there on the floor. My room was the largest of the three bedrooms and held a breathtaking view of the fresh-water lake and the mountains beyond. I'd be dressed with plenty of morning sun.

Jaythen approved of the bathroom as well. It had a separate wash area with two small basins and then a larger tub-like basin. A heater next to the tub would allow us to warm bath water within minutes. Then the toilet of course was on the other side of the wall. A door separated it from the wash area. I enjoyed my learner's reaction to seeing it and his quick observation that there were no harvestman spiders anywhere to be seen.

When finally we stood back outside, I stood smiling. "Pai, I don't know how to thank you for all of this. It's…"

"No need. You are Noma. But more, you are my blood. And although Jaythen is not Noma blood, nor my blood, he is family. I could do nothing less for you. I'm so happy to have you home, you just don't know, son. Now, Neela wants you to take the beds from your bedroom in our house. We'll replace them in time. And take the chests too. I've a couple other random pieces of furniture in my work shed that will work. That will get you started. Once you decide what else you need, we'll trade something for something. The Euchee tribe are the best of the woodworkers. We barter with them often. Whatever you require, we will find."

I couldn't believe this was ours. And I felt a need to move in today. "I'd like to move the beds then. We can harness Saber and Flash to the carts and haul them up easily enough."

From over near the paddock where he'd wandered, Jaythen shouted. "Master! Saber will love this. She's got a big pile of dirt to roll in." He pointed to the pile that had been left for our use. It had been pushed to one corner of the paddock. Saber did enjoy a good roll in the dirt. She especially loved a good roll in the mud. I'd have to remember to move that pile before the next rain storm came. Either that, or Jaythen would be combing mud out of her mane and tail for a week.

It was nice to think of such trivial things. Too often on Coruscant, I thought of nothing but negotiations and the chances of violence on the next mission. And those thoughts were during my down time. Now, my down time consisted of wondering if my padawan's horse would roll in the mud. Life was good right now.

"Come on, Jaythen. Let's get back so we can work on getting moved in."

He jogged over to us. He jogged? He hadn't moved faster than a semi-brisk walk since I'd gotten him back. This was a terrific sign. "How are your legs? You're moving fast."

"Feels good, Master. I haven't had any pain in them in two days. Maybe they're completely better now!"

"Maybe so."

~*~

It didn't take but a couple of hours to move the beds and the extra furniture. Flash and Saber were more than willing to help with the manual labor. Saber especially seemed joyous over it and it was almost a game for her to see if she could pull her cart faster than Flash. Spirit followed along. No halter. No lead line. Ihaani was amazed by this. I guess he'd been so busy in the last two weeks, he hadn't seen the progress Jaythen had made with the colt. The little guy was growing too. When spring rolled around, he'd be strong enough to support a rider. Then the real training would begin. My pai intended to leave the colt in Jaythen's care as long as needed. For now, his own mount, Sky, was able to still perform his duties as the Chief's horse. We set all four horses in the paddock while we positioned the beds into the rooms. I watched the horses for a moment and sure enough Saber found the dirt pile. I just shook my head. At least it wasn't mud.

The beds were set. We put a table in the kitchen. There were two ancient looking chairs that my father had lent us. They wobbled. I wondered if they would hold my weight. Our clothes chests were set in the rooms. I would have to design a lock box of sorts for our light sabers. Other additions we would add in the coming days, a few shelves and hooks on the walls for personal possessions. I knew that Jaythen and I would both need work tables. He for his studies and me for those times when we had to prepare for a mission. I sketched a list of what we would definitely need, and then a list or things we'd like to have. Pai said no problem and folded the paper into his pouch. I'd hope to end up with a padded couch and two comfortable chairs in the living area. It was a traditional set up. At this point I was so pleased with this place I had no trouble with just sitting on the floor.

We rode back to my parents' house. Anya had acquired several hearth rugs from a neighbor down the plain. They often traded quilts for rugs. She also gave us a large collection of candles. To Jaythen she gave candle making equipment. She'd taught him how to make his own and he'd become quite adept at the task. The ones he made added dashes of color and shape that conventional Noma candles didn't have. In the last few days, they'd become very popular with the children in the village. He and Neela were making quite a team. I hoped he'd go with her one day into the village to see how she bartered them. Sometimes when a craftsperson had many of an item, they would set up a trade stand for the day. No doubt, she would welcome his company. And the experience would be good for him. I suspected he wasn't quite ready for the exposure yet, still wary around people he didn't know. The candle making team did bode well for the future though, as they both seemed pleased with their creations.

When we rode back to the new house, Ihaani stayed home so that we could settle in. We'd taken Saber, Flash and Spirit and one of the carts. I wanted to get there before nightfall so we could situate the horses in the new barn. I also wanted to move the transport closer. I went to that task, while Jaythen showed the horses the barn. He said they seemed happy. There were five stalls. Two large ones and three smaller. Each stall had an open window so they could keep a view on things on days when the weather didn't permit paddock time. They were content.

The ship fit perfectly next to the rock pile. It was a few minute walk from there to the house. It was a sturdy enough craft, but extremely uncomfortable. When we were eventually called for missions, I surely hoped we didn't have to spend more than a few days in the thing.

The last of the late afternoon sun shone through the window in Jaythen's bedroom. I smiled at seeing him sitting on the floor in that exact spot. "I knew you'd like that area there. Good thing that you put your bed on the other wall. You'll have to figure out where to put your work table when you get one." I sat on the floor next to him. He reached for my mind. For our bond. He found it easily and spoke to me.

_***I can't believe this all belongs to us, Master. I've never had anything that was my own before, other than a few tiny possessions. I know that now I have to help take care of it. But I'm ready. It's so beautiful here with the lake and sun and mountains. Sometimes I think it's a dream that I'm really here. It feels so different from Coruscant. It'll be so odd to return there. I'm happy, Master. I really am.***_

I opened my eyes when his voice stopped. I put an arm around him.

"That you are happy, Padawan, makes me happy. You've had a lot of pain in your life. I hope that this can offer you a chance to life in peace for a while. I don't know what our visits to the temple will bring. I don't know what our missions will be like. But this is our home now. What we'll always return to." I heard a grumbling sound when I paused and realized it was my stomach. "Well, we don't have any food in the house yet, do we?"

"No. I guess we didn't think about that. I'm hungry too."

"Hmm. It's not too late to bother my parents for a bite to eat, and to raid their gardens, is it?"

Jaythen snickered. "Probably, but do we have another option?"

"Nope. Saddle the horses, my apprentice! We ride for food!"

"Yes, sir!"

He bounded up and out. We arrived in Neela's kitchen just in time for their supper. She smiled knowingly. Plates for us had already been laid out. She knew we'd be back. And when we left, we left with sacks of vegetables and dried meats. Eggs were promised in the morning. As long as we helped work the crops and gardens, we were welcomed to anything grown there. It sounded an ideal plan until we got our own gardens up and running.

Back home, Jaythen and I bid each other goodnight. I made sure his room candles were lit room before I left him. A slight tinge of worry he pushed through our bond. I wished more than anything I could offer him comfort through that link right now. But it was still a one day path. Instead I walked back into the room and sat on the edge of his bed. "I'm just in the next room, Padawan. If you need me."

He gave an unsure nod and I patted him on the shoulder. I was almost certain that he'd turn up in my room at some point during the night. And I wasn't surprised when he did. It was around midnight. He made no sound. He made no effort to reach me in the force. He just sat silently on the floor next to my bed. Reaching over, I put a hand on the top of his head. I hadn't yet moved from my stomach sleeping position. "You okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not used to being alone here. It feels weird."

I sighed and inched my way over to the side of the bed so that I could see him. I took a chance and called on the force to light several candles. The use of the power didn't seem to bother Jaythen. Worry etched his face, though he was more unsure than scared.

"Can I sleep here on the floor, Master? I won't wake you anymore, I promise."

"You can sure. But you should really try your own bed. Even if you wake several times, it's okay. You need to feel safe there. And you can't do that if you're lying here on the floor. And besides, the floor isn't good for your back." I pushed myself upright and out of bed. "Come on. I'll sit with you until you fall asleep."

I sat on his bed and had him sit next to me. His favorite quilt was pulled to his chest. I talked to him. "Tell me what makes you most nervous about the room."

"It's so quiet. I'm used to hearing your snoring."

"Thank you," I snorted. "I think."

Jaythen smiled. "It doesn't bother me. It lets me know that you are there. Just in case."

"Just in case of what?"

"Just…in case."

"Jaythen, no hiding. If there is something that frightens you, please let me know."

"Just in case they come back for me."

"Who?"

"The people who hurt me. They were never captured, so that means they can still find me and hurt me again."

I put my head back against the wall. This had probably been festering in him since he'd come home. And it was one of the reasons that sleeping in complete darkness rattled him so much. That lingering fear that his captors would return for him. Being on Coruscant, or at least with me in the same room, he felt safer. There was something or someone to protect him. Now, here, in our new home, he had a room to himself which was everything he wanted, but it also brought the fear back that his nightmare could return and take him again.

"Jaythen, you are safe here. I promise you are. The Jedi have a team on that investigation."

"But they haven't found them yet."

"No, but the likelihood of them finding you here, or even looking for you is not very good. They left you for dead. They probably didn't come back to inspect their handiwork."

"I know. I'm sorry, Master. It's silly to still be afraid of them. I'm sorry."

I moved my left arm so that it settled on his left arm, and I pulled him close. "It's not silly, Jaythen. Nothing that happened to you is silly. And being fearful of them still is not silly. I wish I knew how to assure you that they won't hurt you again. Why didn't you tell me any of this before?"

"I've had so many reasons to be scared, I lost track of them all. When one goes away, another one comes to the front. Sometimes I still see them when I sleep."

"We need to figure out something for you to do when you start seeing them again. When you wake, something that will focus your mind elsewhere. A force exercise. Or even a study on your data-pad. No matter what time of the night. We'll think on that and see if something works. What if you had a noise in your room. Music, perhaps?"

"That might help, Master."

"Good. We can program your data-pad to receive audio transmission from Coruscant. I'll set it up with Cressha tomorrow. I'll call Terran and find out what the best type of music would be soothing for nightmares. Then you can just set your data-pad to the transmission in the evening and have music while you sleep."

He sighed and nodded against me. "I'd like that, Master. I knew you would have a good idea. You always have good ideas." I felt him snuggle into my side as if setting up camp for the night. I knew I wasn't sleeping in my own bed tonight. It wouldn't be comfortable sleeping sitting up with a padawan strapped to my side, but for him, I would do this. Morning would bring aches though, I was certain.

~*~

Tbc…


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10

~*~

And it did. I woke to the sound of the morning gulls making their first-light fish dives. Surprisingly I hadn't moved much in the night. Now though my rear end was numb, my left arm was numb and my neck ached. Looking down to my left, I saw the reason for the discomfort and I put the aches aside. Jaythen was sound asleep. As deep as I'd seen him in some time. It was a relief. But I hoped with all my heart that the music idea would work, because this current situation surely would not.

I felt the need to get up. I really felt the need. I had to go. And that urge eventually won over the risk of waking the slumbering boy. Thankfully he slept on after I maneuvered off the bed. I did my thing then walked outside to see the awakenings of the first morning from the covered porch of my new home. I ran right into a large basket of something. Eggs and freshly squeezed juice. Neela had come and gone this morning. Under the basket was a large iron skillet. Of course now that we had food, we needed something to cook it in. Thank goodness for the women of Kembar Lune. They think of everything. Us men would never survive without them. Although now I would have to polish up on my cooking skills. Jaythen often joked about them, but he was right. A cook I was not. Maybe he'd picked up a few of Neela's talents in the kitchen. I hoped.

I left the basket sitting there and went to check on the horses. They seemed content enough, not bothered by the change in scenery. I turned them out to the lush pasture. We built a large one with a small separate enclosure, just in case we did need to continue to separate the foal from Flash. The need was no longer there. The equine members of the trio were getting along perfectly fine. Inside the barn was a tack room that housed the saddles, bridles and such along with feed. Noma horses were hardy and thrived on grasses and berries mostly. But they did enjoy munching on hay from time to time. I spread a bale out along the pasture fence line. Then I made the short walk to the lake to fill two buckets of fresh water and hooked them around the fence posts. This would be one of Jaythen's daily tasks, but after a rough night, it was better for him to sleep as late as needed.

Late as it turned out wasn't too late at all. The smell of me attempting to cook breakfast roused him from his slumber and he shuffled his way into the kitchen. The fire-stove heated quickly. Too quickly for eggs.

"Master, I didn't know it was possible to burn eggs," said my padawan as he plopped into a chair.

"Well, honestly Jaythen, I didn't know that either. This may be an area where we'll be having some difficulty. You know I didn't inherit my anya's or Kaai's culinary skills."

He stared at me with a gleam of humor in his green eyes. I was happy to see it, even though he was teasing me about my cooking. Then to my surprise, he got up and took the tools from my hand.

"Master, please sit down. I will make us breakfast. But since we don't yet have any spices or…well, we only have eggs. So it won't be an exciting breakfast. I promise that it'll be edible." I pursed my lips, he laughed.

However, a few minutes later we had perfectly cooked eggs. The boy had talent. "Okay, yes, you are in charge of cooking. Good idea you came up with, Jaythen. Very good."

"Master, I didn't say anything. But I don't mind. We do have to get some variety though."

I had an idea. "We could go into the main village. Many a Noma woman will have set up stands for food and spices." Within the village, many Noma prospered in vegetables and fruits. And they would bargain their goods for very little. Jaythen's candles would probably do the trick. He hadn't made any of his own just yet, but if he took to that task this morning, they'd be set by evening and ready to barter away. He sensed it was another good idea. Although he wasn't sure about going into the village with me.

"What if people stare at me, Master?"

"They will stare. Because you're different. But you have similar coloring to us. Dark hair, darker than average skin. You're a lot thinner than Noma's and have those green eyes. But you'll probably fit in well enough. And if they stare, who cares! They'll get used to seeing you and before long will be shouting greetings to you like they do me. It's a friendly place, Jaythen."

Finally he agreed. We'd go tomorrow morning. I'd ask Neela along as well, to give him a little more to grasp onto if needed. Although I suspected he'd be more comfortable there than he thought. Today though, I told him to concentrate on the candles, so we had trade. He'd never been part of a place where money didn't change hands - where money had no meaning. The credits we had were packed away. We'd use them during our time on Coruscant and during missions. Here, we just needed a talent or a crop or an artistic skill. I'd have to polish up on something, as right now, I had little to bring to the table.

Jaythen started on candles. I started on a list of what we needed from the village. Food. Spices. Another pot or a pan. Cooking utensils. I'd start us out with dried meat, but eventually I'd have to do a little hunting on my own. Jaythen would stay well clear of that, I knew. He'd eat the meat, but he wanted no part of the killing or preparing of it. I refused to challenge him on his feelings and left the hunting chores to me. If wrapped properly, the meat would last a week before spoiling, so if all I had to do was hunt once a week, we'd manage fine.

My list done, I went to the transport to see about getting an audio music signal dialed into Jaythen's data-pad. Yoda's aide, Cressha, was a gem at just about anything. And within a few minutes, she had programmed him for three settings. Two provided different variations of music designed to sooth a mind, the other was recordings of various nature occurrences, such as rain storms, ocean waves and animal sounds. He could choose any of the three programs on any given evening just by pressing the assigned key on his data-pad. Jaythen was very excited by the music and set his data-pad up that evening on a makeshift nightstand I'd built that day. He chose the nature sounds. And it worked. There was no waking during the night. We both slept peacefully and soundly. He even woke before me and had eggs ready at the table before I made it to the kitchen.

"The horses have been fed, Master. I've hitched Saber to the cart and packed my candles there. I can't get the saddle on her though, I can't figure out how to adjust it around the cart harness."

The fact that he'd been able to harness the mare alone, with one good hand amazed me more than anything. I hadn't expected him to be so prepared this morning. "I can help you. It's a bit tricky. How did you manage the harness by yourself though? It's heavy and awkward." I looked at his partially limp left hand.

"It's still useful. I can't really grip anything, but those strength exercises that Terran taught me allow me to hold my arm up longer, so I can use my left hand as a brace. Oh and Spirit helped me too."

I shook my head at the last part of his sentence. "Spirit…what?"

"He helped me. I held one part of the buckle and he picked up the other end with his teeth and handed it to me."

I thought he was joking. I knew he was joking. He was joking, right? "Ah, okay. Jaythen, are you being serious?"

"Yes, Master."

His face was stone. No sign of a fib anywhere. "And how did Spirit learn how to do this?"

"I don't know. I was working with the harness, and then just for fun I told Saber to tell Spirit to bring the other end to me. She whinnied. Then he maneuvered it into his teeth and hooked it around my left hand so I could lift it up."

I still didn't believe it. "Jaythen, you wouldn't lie to me about something like this, would you? This seems very odd. This story. Animals don't do things like that."

"Sure they do. Remember our second mission together, Master. It was to Razaar. The governor's son, he was paralyzed from the waist down and had to spend all his life in that floating chair. But he had trained that kooba to assist him in daily activities. To pick things up for him. To press door locks. Even to help him get dressed."

"You remember that?"

"I never forgot it. It was man and animal working together like I had never seen."

"Kooba. I forgot that's what the animal was. Kooba's are one of Kembar Lune's native species, though they've been exported to other planets. Perhaps this is why. Amazing. So, Spirit seems to have those same abilities."

"Should we tell the Chief about all of this? Spirit will be his horse. He should probably know."

"He should." I finished off my eggs and the last of the chara juice that Neela had sent yesterday. "Although I still don't completely believe that a horse – a foal at that - can have this type of gift." Then another less than pleasing thought hit me. He would be a very valuable animal if ever he fell into the wrong hands. "We should tell Ihaani, yes. Neela too. But no others. If word gets out about this, he could become a target for thieves. When we go into the village today, be sure he's tied on a lead rope attached to the cart. He should seem a normal foal to anyone who sees or asks about him."

"I will, Master."

"Okay then. Let's clean up and be off."

~*~

The village never changed. Children ran here and there. Old women tottered along near their vegetable stands. Men moved bartered objects from one area to another. We'd picked up Neela on our way. She sat astride her horse, Cloud, a dirty white mare as sturdy as they come. Quilts and candles were loaded into our cart. Her quilts were always in demand, not only for the warmth they offered, but for the colorful beauty as well. Some used them as wall decoration rather than a wrap. Recently, she'd begun making smaller ones just for that decorating purpose. They were quicker and easier to make and Noma women seemed to adore them.

We retrieved spices and dried meat from the first stand. A load of fruit and vegetables from another. Fresh chara juice and barley ale also found our cart. Jaythen's candles were quite popular. The eight he'd made were disappearing quickly. He had one left as we rounded the bend to the last few kiosks. A boy stood alone at the final stand. Random healing herbs, ointments and wrappings were available. We traded Jaythen's last candle for a handful of basic aides to have on board for minor injuries and wounds.

The boy stared at Jaythen. He was of similar age. Perhaps a year older at most. More thickly built and several inches taller, of course, being a Noma. His hair was long and hung freely. It was decorated with white feathers only. It marked him as a healer - a medicine man. Me'da's apprentice?

He spoke softly. The voice of a healer. "You are Master T'narr and Apprentice Jaythen of the Jedi. Yes?"

We both nodded. He had to be associated with Me'da, otherwise he'd not know our Jedi titles. "We are."

"Me'da has told me much about you. My name is Eesyhn Nyjaan. I am Me'da's apprentice. In training to be a tribe shaman. I am years away from knowing all I need however. It's good to meet you both. He speaks very highly of you."

Jaythen for his part seemed enthralled with the whole 'apprentice' thing. And that immediately drew him to Eeshyn, as it had drawn him to Obi-Wan previously. They quickly developed an easy conversation. "How long have you been his apprentice, Eeshyn?"

"Only a year. I had to be of age before I could begin training with him. I was ten standard years when I began. I'm eleven now. I think we are similar age, Jaythen."

"We are. I'm ten. Master T'narr took me as an apprentice when I was eight. Where is Me'da now?"

"Oh, he's off healing people I suppose. I don't work with him all the time. Tribe law does not permit that. I must live with my parents until I am the correct age to leave. And I must maintain my home life as well as my training life. I work four consecutive days with Me'da, then no training for two days."

"So you don't live with your teacher?"

"No. I have a work room in his cottage. But it's very small and plain. Mostly I use it to study in. He tests me quite often on herb mixes and healing minor wounds. You must start very basic in this work and learn so much before moving on."

Neela and I wandered off to the stand across the way to see if there was anything there we needed. She had another quilt to trade and I knew we could find something we needed before we left the village. I smiled at the easy way in which Jaythen had taken to Me'da's apprentice, Eeshyn. I think it was relief I felt. A boy his age, also an apprentice – they already had things in common. Although Jedi customs with apprentices were different, the basics were the same. Learn the trade from the ground up. Listen to your teacher. Learn everything you can from him until you are ready to go it alone. The common ground drew them together. So much so that I hated to part them, but we did have things to do. Neela touched my arm as I stepped in their direction.

"Give them a few more minutes, Tana. This is healthy for Jaythen. And I'm sure for the healer boy as well. He's probably somewhat separated from others because of what he does. People don't generally like to see a medicine man unless they absolutely have to - for obvious reasons. He may be isolated to an extent, though he seems a well rounded boy." I nodded and agreed. I'd make a point to speak to Me'da bout Eeshyn when the man stopped by with a new batch of rubbing ointment for Jaythen's back. I wanted to be certain that their friendship was permitted. I didn't know much about that type of apprenticeship. Every tribe had their own way. I figured it was fine, but knew better to intrude without complete knowledge. Me'da was due to see us tomorrow, so it wouldn't be a long wait. I did eventually break them up though. Eeshyn offered me a gentle bow and held his palm up to Jaythen.

"You touch your palm to mine. That is how friends our age bid hello and farewell in the Noma tribe."

Jaythen placed his right palm to his new friends' and smiled broadly. "I hope we get to talk again, Eeshyn."

"I hope we can become good friends, Jaythen. Most other children stay away from those who work with medicine. They only want to see us when they really need us. You and I share something unusual, both being apprentices. Maybe you can tell me all about being a Jedi apprentice when we see each other again."

"I can tell you all about it. I hope we can be friends too, Eeshyn. Thank you for the medicines."

"Unali. Noma for friend. Goodbye, Jaythen."

"Unali. I'll remember that. Goodbye, Eeshyn."

We hauled our loot back home. Neela separated from us to go her own way. Saber had no problem hauling the heavy cart even with Jaythen in the saddle. Manual labor was her specialty. Spirit trudged along on his lead rope. Flash was a bit unhappy at the slow pace, but he tolerated it.

"Master, will it be okay for Eeshyn and I to be friends?"

"I don't see why not, but I would like to mention it to Me'da. I want to make sure we're not stepping on any toes in the course of his training. This is not an area where I'm especially knowledgeable. He's a nice kid though. I have to say that I'm pleased to see you so happy to meet someone you don't know. You need friends your own age to relate to. Even here. I know Eryck is your close friend and Obi-Wan, but you won't see them as often as you used to. So it's important that you not be afraid to make a new friend or two here."

Then he said something I didn't expect. "Do you have friends here, Master?"

"I do have a couple who I still see. Although not in several years. You've not met them. I would like you to though. I tried to see them as much as I could during my visits here as a child. Kaai made certain that I had time with them. Unfortunately our adult lives have been much more hectic and I don't see them as often as I would like. Perhaps we can visit them soon."

"I'd like that, Master."

My mind wandered to those friends. I had two who I was especially close to. A girl. Her name was Aleejha. She often flirted with me when we were Jaythen's age. I think I blushed once too often for her tastes. My other close friend was a boy named Esalii. They married once they were of age. I had been fortunate enough to have been on Kembar Lune at the time to celebrate their wedding. Again I had Kaai to thank for that. The last time I'd visited them was the last journey here before taking Jaythen as my padawan. I guess that would be about three years now. I owed them a visit, surely.

"Soon, Jaythen, soon. Now when we get home, we've some serious preparing to do. I'll show you how to store the different foods so that they last the longest. I can't cook them, but I do know how to keep them fresh," I grinned. He returned the look as we made the final strides to the house.

~*~

"We met your apprentice yesterday, Me'da," I said as the big medicine man removed the container of rubbing ointment from his satchel. "Nice boy. He and Jaythen had quite a talk."

"Yes, I heard this morning. Eeshyn is working on some mixtures for me this morning at my cottage. It was the first thing he spoke of. He was very animated about meeting Jaythen."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about him, to make sure their friendship was welcome. We don't want to disrupt Eeshyn's training."

"I'm glad for a friendship for him. He needs it. You may have guessed that being a tribal healer is not the most coveted job. It's special for those of us who have the magic for it though. He is isolated to an extent though he has a loving relationship with his parents and an older sister that he adores. They discovered he had a knack for healing when he was young, often creating his own mixes to treat his scrapes and scratches. They presented him to me when he was eight. I agreed to train him once he reached the age. And so after so many years of working alone, I had a student under my care."

"Amazing how quickly our lives change, isn't it?"

"Indeed. It's been something to get used to, but he's a fast learning child and well mannered. His parents have raised him correctly. He will be a great asset to the Noma tribe in a few years. But yes, he needs a friend. Jaythen and he are welcome to pursue their friendship."

I nodded my thank you. We spoke for a while longer and he told me about the slight modifications he'd made to the back rub ointment. With the pain being less, he'd changed the ingredients slightly to reflect that, but encouraged me to continue with the therapy once a day until Jaythen was pain free.

Once he'd gone I relayed the good news to Jaythen, he proceeded to launch at me with a hug. I'd never expected him to be so happy so quickly about this. Honestly, I'd expected more of a challenge, having to encourage him to come with me into the village time after time. Now, he was sure to be my willing shadow.

"Okay, Okay." I pried him off me. "You do have chores, do you not?"

"Yes, Master." He hurried off towards the barn. "Thank you!"

~*~

The weeks passed. Fall took a strong hold on Kembar Lune. Winter would soon follow. It promised to be a brutal one according to the ancient ones well known for their weather predicting abilities. Jaythen and I prepared accordingly. I made sure he had warm clothes. Gloves made from paca fur and boots to match. I allowed him to let his hair grow out of the padawan cut, but let him know he'd have to trim it shorter again for missions and our visits to Coruscant.

Jaythen and Eeshyn became good friends. Their time was sometimes sparse between the duties and chores that they both were expected to maintain, but they did manage to find time to spend together. I'd forgotten how entertaining it could be to watch two children play and explore. True they weren't small children, but they were still young. And they had energy. A lot of energy. Eeshyn introduced his horse, a stocky black gelding named Sable to our group. He was a natural fit. Whenever possible, they'd go out and ride the area. I cautioned them both about straying too far. I wanted them within eyesight of our home at all times. Me'da and Eeshyn's parents were trusting me to keep the boy safe while he was here. And so I would. Not to mention Spirit was horribly noisy when his mother got out of his vision.

Jaythen hadn't told Eeshyn of his traumas. I suspected a time would come when he'd feel comfortable in sharing that, but it wasn't now. I was glad for that as I wanted him to just enjoy the friendship and the happy time he was able to share with his friend. Without worry. Without thinking about his past. Without thinking about the bad.

Force therapy continued. Jaythen had almost completely regained his ability to touch my mind and visit there for as long as he wished. We'd made wonderful progress. The opposite wasn't so positive. Several times he deemed himself ready for me to touch his mind. And several times he rebelled as soon as I attempted. Frustration at the situation hit him hard. He couldn't understand why he couldn't allow me entrance to his thoughts. I began to fear that what Kloon did to him might have caused permanent damage. From my side of things, I felt a loneliness there. Our connection used to be so smooth and so pure. Now I could not reach him at all, or he would not permit me to reach him. For a stretch of days, he tried repeatedly to open his mind and allow a tendril in. We tried various physical locations. Sitting on the shore. Or in the company of Spirit. After a restful day. After a stressful day. After a good visit with Eeshyn. Nothing mattered. His mind was shut to mine. I could not reach him.

It reached a point where it so exhausted him that mentally he broke down and fled to the barn to spend hours with Saber and Spirit. I allowed him the time and went about my duties. I modified the training regime for him. We would be due at the temple in another month. Back there for the first time since leaving and I had to be able to show that Jaythen's training was on par with other padawans his age. He'd been studying hard and we'd worked on saber training and kata's. But some of the lessons had been avoided because they so relied on the force. If we could not demonstrate that he'd made improvement in those areas, the council could decide to take all of this from us. Jaythen guessed that as well, which is why he was being so harsh on himself for not being able to completely remove his fear of the force.

When darkness came and he'd not come in from the stables yet, I worried and went to find him. The candle I carried showed him sitting quietly in the corner of Saber's stall, Spirit lying next to him, head on his lap. Jaythen's head bobbed up and down as he dozed for several seconds before he woke himself. As I approached, Saber leaned her head down and nudged her colt. Spirit rose, nudged Jaythen in the face, and then moved to the other corner of the stall. I knelt down next to my learner. The tear tracks were dry, but evident. The flickering candle showed that the redness in his eyes hadn't receded. He looked miserable.

"Jaythen, come on. It's chilly out here. You need to get to bed."

His mouth turned a sad frown and he offered no protest. I left him alone to wash up and dress for bed. His shaking right hand accepted the cup of tea that I gave him.

"It will come, Padawan. It will. We just have to keep trying. There's something there that we can't get past. I don't know what it is, but it's there. Once we find that…"

Sad, tired eyes peered up at me. He was on the verge of tears again. "What if we don't, Master? What if I can never use the force normally again? What if I'm always scared of allowing myself to open to it completely? The council will make me come back. They'll force me to train until it breaks. I can't go back, Master. I don't want to lose what I have now."

The tea had cooled enough to sip and I encouraged him to take some. He sat sorrowfully on the couch. I moved to sit next to him. "You won't be losing anything, Jaythen. You know I will fight to keep this. And part of this is the council's fault anyway for Kloon doing what he did. You'd made progress before his actions. Yoda understands that. He'll be on our side. I think maybe you're worrying too much, perhaps that's why you cannot completely meld with the force." I paused before saying, "I miss being able to talk to you. I miss that part of our bond."

"I miss hearing you, Master. I mean, you are here of course, but when I used to hear you talk to me through our bond, it would immediately comfort me and settle my fears. I don't know what else to do. It shouldn't be this hard."

I took his tea as he leaned into me. I lowered it to the table with the aid of the force. My own tea set beside his. I held him as he cried soft sobs. I held him as we both fell asleep and didn't wake until morning.

~*~

Breakfast was ready an hour after dawn. It consisted of a spicy egg poach, two slices of elkon bacon and a mangus fruit. Jaythen placed a full plate in front of me. The presentation was so beautiful, I hated to eat it. He sat across from me.

"Thank you for helping me last night, Master. You always help me without making me feel bad about myself. I'm sorry you had to sleep sitting up in the couch though. I saw you trying to stretch out your back. It wasn't comfortable, was it?"

"No, but I'll live. How do you feel this morning?"

"Better. But still frustrated. Can we take a ride today? Go see some of those places you told me about?"

Now there was an idea. The weather was still nice. Chilly, but the beginnings of winter were still a month off. I wondered if taking that trip now might be just what he needed.

"Well, it's not a day trip. I thought three days would be better. That way we're not rushing home. If you'd like, we can go. You've gotten most of your strength back, so you should be okay with the ride. I'm sure Pai will ride up here to check on the place while we're gone. And he can let Me'da know we've gone, should Eeshyn be looking for you. Yes. Let's do this."

His eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. We'll pack after breakfast. I've some saddle bags to take extra supplies. And Spirit is big enough now to carry something for us. I have many places to show you, Padawan."

The smile that filled his face was so opposite the emotions there last evening, it was hard to believe this was the same boy.

We ate our breakfast and made preparations around the house. I made certain the transport was locked up. We decided to take our light sabers - just in case. One never knew what to expect in the forest. The saddle bags were secured on the horses. Spirit grunted once when the weight was placed across his back, but he accepted his task willingly. All at once, we were ready to depart. A quick stop at my parents' house to let them know our destination and an estimate of when we'd return. Ihaani would ride up the next day for a quick house check. Neela wished us well. I suspected she was aware of one of the main reasons for this journey. I'd confided my worries to her about Jaythen's continued fear of the force. So she was pleased to see us both so excited about the trip.

The first day took us to the caves. My vertically challenged apprentice had no trouble wandering through them in an upright walk. As for myself, I began to sympathize with my old master Kaai the longer I spent inside these stone walls. An aching back from hunching over though could not sway the delight I felt at Jaythen's exploration. Several times, he found his way into my mind to shout out something he'd found. One of those times, I funneled my way to him in order to see what he was carrying on about.

"Master, these paintings on this wall. They're so different than any of the others. It's like they're carved _into _ the rock. They remind me of something."

"They remind you of me," I replied plainly. "I made those markings. Well, Kaai and I did together, with the force. We merged color and depth to see if we could move rock with the force. And we did. That's why the designs don't make much sense. We had a meaning and purpose behind them, but it never did materialize in the final result."

"Yes it did. You just didn't see it then. I see it. These two here look resemble feathers. This first one - the small blue and the larger gray - that's you and Master Kaai. This one here, the blue feather is larger of the two now, and it melds with the tiny green one. The blue is you again, but as a master. The green is me. It matches the exact color of the painted feather on my right arm. See?"

He held is arm up, there was enough light in the cave to see that the colors did match almost identically. The color also matched those green eyes of his. The same exact emerald green. This was too strange. "Jaythen I was very young when Kaai and I did this. It was countless years ago. How could I have known…"

His finger traced the blue-green meld on the stone. "The force knew."

Indeed it must have. The force had known all along that this boy would one day enter my life and become a part of me. Perhaps that's why Kaai hadn't stopped our experiment with the cave markings after the first blue and white feather-like images had been created. He was being shown the future, almost as if the ancient Noma story-tellers would read the life from the palm of one's hand. The future was there, plain to see, if only you had the ability to see it. This was powerful discovery. My future had been set long before I had ever finished my training as an apprentice. I started to wonder how much Kaai knew of this. Had he understood the carvings we created? Had he understood what my future would bring? I doubted it, but he was a very skilled and resourceful force user. I smiled at the thought of him being part of bringing Jaythen and I together.

"Master?"

I became aware of Jaythen's voice after a time. I'd drifted into my own world.

"Sorry, Padawan. Just thinking about what all this means. It's quite overwhelming."

"Did you make any other paint-carvings?"

"No. This was the only wall we disturbed."

He pondered that for a moment then said, "These caves are built into the hillside. What's over the hill?"

"How about we ride and find out?" Relief for my back as we exited the cave and I stood straight. "I do know one thing, those caves were designed for the young and small, not the old and the tall." I stretched my back before gathering Flash and mounting up.

The hill was a stiff climb but these horses we meant for this ground and they appreciated the challenge. Up and over, we came to the dense forest beyond. "Some of these trees, it is said, have been here for ages. Years before any of the tribes on the planet. You'll see the largest of them toward the center of the forest. The diameter of the oldest rival the size of our horse barn!"

Wide eyes stared at me in disbelief.

"It's true. At least the size part is. The age of them, I really can't say. Some of the stories that the ancient ones tell can be a little exaggerated at times. You'll see for yourself how big the trees are though. Many an animal has made a home in the base of these trees. You'll see the dens of a variety of beasts. Including the kooba's that you were speaking of before. I saw a family of them here when I rode out last time. Now that we know what they are capable of, with the ability to be trained to aid and assist, it gives me a new respect for them. They're more than just pesky little red-furred yappers."

As we rode slowly, Jaythen's eyes followed the height and size of the trees. His head bobbed up and then down again as he followed the path of each barked monster to its sun-reaching vertical limit. I felt he was completely at ease. This trip would be the perfect opportunity to see if he would allow my mind into his. I would suggest it, but would wait for his cue for any attempt. For now though I got wind of a storm encroaching. The darkening sky was mostly attributed to dusk, but a smell in the air and a change of wind meant rain.

I had Jaythen stop and sense the area around him. Explaining to him the changes I felt and what it meant. Storms could sneak up quickly in this region of the planet because of the strong pull of the lakes and mountains. It was important to learn how to identify an oncoming storm quickly to prevent from getting caught in its wrath.

"Where should we shelter, Master?"

I pointed to one of the larger trees nearby. It was partially hollowed out with enough room for us to get ourselves and our packs inside and still have room. I'd show him how to construct a fire inside a ring of stones, just inside the base of the tree. It would allow us light and warmth without burning the tree to the ground. "This tree will work fine. It doesn't appear to be a den, although it was in the past. We'll unburden the horses and store our gear inside. The forest canopy is thick enough that they won't be wading in hoof deep water, but they will get wet." Jaythen frowned at the thought of the loyal animals being left in the weather. "Don't worry. They'll manage just fine. This planet breeds some of the hardiest stock around. They've seen much worse. Even with shelter, we'll be more uncomfortable then they will."

Now he frowned for himself and I laughed. "I suspect you'll survive too, Padawan."

The horses were unpacked and secured. We gathered several larger rocks and then a handful of small black stones. I piled them in circle a foot wide. They created a five inch tall chimney of sorts around the soon to be fire pit. "This design and the heat that comes from the black stones creates a fire that doesn't easily ignite things around it should a spark get loose. Pai explained the whole thing to me one time, but I was young and not concerned with knowing every detail of everything at the time, especially with Master Kaai impatiently wondering when we would be returning to the cottage. His mind always worried about how many more hours he'd have to spend on the back of one of those blasted horses." We both grinned. "So I'll spare you the entire story, mostly because I don't know it. But if you really want to know, I'm sure my pai would be…"

He held up a hand. "No, that's okay, Master. I'll trust your judgment on this that we won't burn the tree or the forest down with our little fire."

The first rain drops forged their way through the overhead leaves and we scooted into our tree shelter. We were both hungry, having only snacked along the journey, so I roasted two pieces of spiced meat over the fire. Even I could cook prepared meat this way despite Jaythen's expression thinking otherwise. That and a stew of vegetables quenched our appetite. We stuck to water to drink as it was easier than worrying about tea. Then we both sat back to listen to the rain soaking down around us and to watch the dancing flames of the fire in front of us.

It was dark now, aside from the fire. I felt no worry from Jaythen. Perhaps it was a good time to…

"Master, can we try the force therapy again?"

He'd beaten me to it. "If you would like."

"Yes. I think maybe I should face you directly this time though, rather than my back facing you. Maybe if I can see you as you try to reach my mind, I won't be so scared."

I turned, legs crossed in front of me. He did the same. Our knees touched and I felt the beginnings of tension.

"Don't think about anything negative. Think about all you've done and seen today. Think about all that you may see tomorrow. Keep your shoulders relaxed and your mind open. Know that the only thing touching your mind will be me. Now, find the most peaceful state you can."

I felt him there in the force. As gently as I could I inched a tendril his way. The mind that was open for a brief moment slammed shut at the first sensation of an intrusion. He relaxed again. Another tendril. Another impenetrable wall. After thirty minutes we retreated from the effort. Jaythen turned to lean back against the inside of the tree wall, miserable. Such a good day we'd had, I was certain we'd take a forward step with this. Instead we stalled in the same place.

"I'm sorry, Master," he said mournfully.

"It's not your fault, Jaythen. We tried. That's all we can do. We've another busy day of exploring tomorrow. Let's get what sleep we can."

I pushed back to find the most comfortable position I could, leaning into the tree for support. I let the fire continue its slow burn out. It would last a few more hours, giving us light until then. Jaythen to my surprise lay down on his side, his head pillowed against my hip but cushioned by a saddle bag. The small quilt he'd brought with him covered him snuggly. I placed a hand across his shoulder and stilled it there. We slept as the storm raged the night.

~*~

Tbc…


	11. Chapter 11

Part 11 – Final Part

~*~

I led us deeper into the forest where I'd seen the kooba family before. It was early, so I expected they would be soon be up and about. Flash was aware of them before I was and he stomped his right hoof to let me know that he was not pleased to be near them. Saber didn't seem to mind the encroachment. Spirit was as curious as a young colt could be. The adults emerged from the tree-den first. The male was the larger of the two sexes and held a rich red coat. The female came next. She was more petite in size with a thick orange coat and a while underbelly. Black tips marked their tails, paws and ears. Finally the babies poked their noses out of the den. Four of them. It was too soon to tell male or female just from color. All kooba began life orange. After a few minutes a fifth pup appeared. It was tiny. A runt perhaps. But it was gray in color. And the tips were white rather than black. There was a mythical meaning about a gray kooba, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I recalled a story about a gray one. They were rare and held a sacred place in Noma folklure. But why, I couldn't recall.

Jaythen crouched low, having set Saber back several feet away from him so he could get a closer look at the animals. His eyes closed for a minute and sent a thought my way.

_***Master, why is that little one gray?***_

I shrugged my response. He accepted that I had no idea and smirked at me. I moved closer to him and we sat there. Far enough away for the animals to be wary, but not overly concerned. Kooba's had no real fear of people, but they didn't go out of their way to wander or live near them. We were content to watch from a distance that seemed fair for man and beast.

The gray one was smaller than his siblings. One of large ears had a slight flop to it at the tip. It gave him a silly look when he turned towards us, sensing us for the first time. Opening his mouth to pant and scent the air, he gave off a smiling impression. It was funny enough to pry a giggle from Jaythen both out loud and through our bond.

The family began the daily trek that would take it hunting for berries and orm nuts. The little ones followed closely, but in a staggered line. The tiny gray didn't follow. He stepped a few feet from the den, sat and starred at us. Behind, Flash stomped another hoof. I hushed him, or tried to. Glancing back I saw Saber nip at him. Problem solved.

"Don't move," I whispered to my apprentice. "This is his territory. Just let him explore as he will." Even as I said that, the little one stood and trotted over to us. A quick sniff to my knee, then to Jaythen's and he sat and starred again.

"He's a funny little guy, Master. Is it a boy?"

"I think so. I remember something about the gray kooba story. The gray ones were always males. He's as curious as Spirit. I wonder why he doesn't go with his family pack to hunt."

"Maybe he's too small?"

The gray made another move. This time to sniff Jaythen's dysfunctional left hand. He licked the fingers. Again he sat and starred. This time though he whined at the hand as if he knew something was wrong there.

Jaythen made no movement, but said, "Master, this is so weird. How does he know something is wrong with that arm? How can he sense that?"

"Smell maybe? Kooba's are known for that sense. It's thousands of times stronger than ours."

Then the gray poked his nose into the dirt, burrowed a moment with his paws and turned up a large worm that he chewed and swallowed. His nose covered in dirt, he lay his head down on Jaythen's leg, let out a deep sigh and starred again.

"Master, what do I do?"

"Be glad he's not a large predator who wants to eat your for breakfast?"

"That's not funny, Master."

"Yes it is. I don't know what to do. I've never seen any wild animal act like this. Try to get up, see what he does."

He stood carefully and walked the steps back towards Saber. Gray followed. Jaythen walked around in a big circle. Gray followed. Jaythen walked in figure eights through the horses as Flash pawed the ground again. Gray followed.

It reminded me of his quick bond with Spirit when they first met. "Do all animals just take to you and follow you? It's some sort of weird gift you have, but you don't know you have it."

"But that weird bird we got the other day for laying eggs didn't follow me. She pecked at my feet and screamed at me."

"Oh, the ostri bird."

"And that wooly baaing thing that we saw in the village. The puffy white one? I tried to pet it on the head and it tried to bite my fingers off."

"True. Okay so ostri birds and ewee's don't like you. But for some reason this little guy does."

"How do I leave without him following?"

"Not much we can do about it really. Just ignore him I suppose. He's too small to follow for long. Obviously his parents aren't concerned with leaving him behind. Maybe he's meant to go off on his own."

We mounted up, careful not to step on little gray who was left sitting alone and pondering our departure. His head titled to the side in curiosity as we plodded away. I thought I saw him following us at one point, but left it alone. It would be whatever it would be. Jaythen was becoming a magnet for baby animals. Qui-Gon had once told me that Obi-Wan often accused him of picking up pathetic life forms from time to time. Maybe this was the same type of thing, only in reverse.

Ahead in the distance I saw our next stop. A path that led to a river that ultimately connected to the lake we lived on. The river was known for its swift currents and raging waters and was in many places a quarter mile wide. At the peak of its roughness, the sound of rushing water was so loud it drowned out all other sound nearby. I cautioned Jaythen to stay several feet away from the edge and to follow close. The white wall of intense noise barreled into us and the next hours of our ride were completed in awe of the mighty river. When we reached just past the peak, on the other side of the roughest of the water, the noise quieted. The wildlife roused again. Nature was back to normal even as the rapids raged nearby. There was a clearing ahead, perfect to set up camp for the day. We could explore from here, let the horses rest while we did our thing on foot.

A small pool of water flowing down towards the rapids provided a perfect place to wash up and to fish for a meal. A small metal hook with an insect attached was ample enough to start the fish nibbling at our lines. Six fish later, we had plenty for two meals, but my success with cooking fish was not stellar. I'd let Jaythen cook this catch.

I'd stretched out in the sun for a brief time while Jaythen took Spirit and ventured out. He promised he'd stay away from the river and out of trouble. It felt good and I felt refreshed when I woke from my nap. It was evening. I'd slept far too long. Jaythen was not near, nor was Spirit. I called out to him, probably he was just out of my sight. He didn't respond. Sometime later, I'd done a sweep of the immediate area. No sign of he or the colt. I worried. It wasn't like him to wander off, at least without saying something. I walked over to Saber. "Saber, can you find Jaythen and Spirit? They're lost. Can you track them down for me?" A mother horse could smell for her foal over a distance. She could call out, which she did. There was no response there either. I set her down the path and followed. We entered cloud of noise and the world around me closed. My eyes were alert to all movement, but my ears were useless.

Then I felt something. A push against my mind. It was weak, but there. I reached for it and pushed back, scared about what that push might do, but knowing no other way. My link with Jaythen opened and his panicked voice screamed to me.

_***Master! Please help me. Spirit slipped into the river. I grabbed him before he could fall away, and he's safe, but I'm here in the water. I hurt my head. I'm bleeding and my arm hurts from hanging on. Help, Master, please!"***_

I concentrated on the force. I focused all my strength into sending a message to him through our bond. I made it as gentle as possible given the circumstances, but I had to make it an order at the same time. I had to demand he answer me as his life might be at stake. Either his mind would be closed to it, would repel it, or would accept it.

_***Jaythen, I hear you. But I need to know where you are. Please keep your mind open. Tell me where you are. That's an order, Padawan Talari. Tell me where you are. Jaythen, do you hear me? You must do as I say. Don't disobey your master. Jaythen, tell me where you are.***_

There was no response. My heart sank. I continued to try. Every few minutes I'd find our link and press the order into it. There was no response of any kind. Finally after many failed attempts and an hour of searching I became desperate. I pleaded to him. Not as a Jedi. Not as his teacher. But as a father.

_***Jaythen, please. Please tell me where you are. I can't find you. How far down river are you? Can you see anything around you to mark where you are? A landmark of any kind? Please, Jaythen. I need you to hear me. I need you to find our bond again and talk to me. Please talk to me, Jaythen. Tell me you're okay. Tell me I haven't lost you. Jaythen…***_

Silence reigned over the raging river here at one of its widest points. I stood there helplessly thinking he was gone. Hurting from the inside out. A pain I never thought imaginable. Hanging my head, I felt the force around me working to comfort me. I wanted no part of it. It became insistent. I pushed it away. Then something broke through.

_***Master. I hear you. Are you still looking for me? I don't know how far down the river I am. My head really hurts. I don't see any landmarks. Everything looks white. The water is in my face. I haven't let go, Master. But you need to hurry. Something is barking, Master. Can you hear that? That sound? Master…***_

Barking, there was a persistent barking sound. Kooba's made sounds like that. The little gray. It had to be him. He'd followed us. He was near Jaythen. I pushed down the river. I'd lost track of Saber, but it didn't matter. She'd find her way. I kept walking until I heard a yipping noise cascading over the river noise. It sounded like a bark. The yip was high pitched and wailed loudly. The river boiled on as I followed the sound. Soon I realized that I wasn't hearing the barking sound over the noise of the river. I was hearing it through the force. It wasn't until I got closer that I actually heard the vocals of the animal. He sat on the shoreline, front paws on a rock howling mercifully into the sky. I looked over from where he stood. Jaythen clung to a rock, water splashing into him. His left arm had somehow wedged in between two of the rocks probably saving his life.

I bent down and flopped onto my backside to scoot towards him. Thankfully, he wasn't in the middle of the river. I could reach him easily enough. Wiggling his arm free was difficult and he had no awareness that I was there. Waterlogged and limp, I pulled him across the rocks and a safe distance away where I sat clinging to him and scanning for injuries. He'd cut his face above his left eye. There were some minor scratches, but nothing more that I could find just yet. Bruises would probably surface in a few hours. I had to get him back to camp before nightfall. He'd been chilled to the bones in the wet clothes and I didn't need a sick padawan on top of a terrified and injured one. My attempts at waking him though were useless. Instead I lifted him into my arms and began trudging back to camp. Light was limited by the time we reached the clearing. Saber had found her way, having tracked down Spirit. There was no sign of the little gray kooba.

Jaythen shivered awake. I held him in my arms as I lowered him to the ground. His tired green eyes gazed up at me. "Master?"

"I'm here, Jaythen. I found you. It's okay now."

"I – I heard you."

I knew what he meant, and I could think of no verbal response, as I tilted my head down and pressed my brow to his. I've not cried so hard in a very long time. The relief of finding him alive and of knowing that our bond had survived - it overwhelmed me. His cold fingers found mine and squeezed. I came around finally, feeling that cold touch. I had to get him warm.

"Jaythen, I need to lie you down for a minute to find dry clothes. You can't stay in these wet ones, you'll get sick when the temperatures fall." Hurriedly I dug through a saddle bag, finding his extra pair of clothes. They were some of his warmer clothes – thankfully he'd packed as I told him. I pulled out his quilt and mine. I'd use mine to dry him and his to warm him. I reached his side and tossed a few kindling sticks together. I had a fire going in seconds. Then I stripped the boy bare, toweled him with my sleeping quilt and refitted him in the dry set of clothes. I fed the fire and put on a warming pot for tea. His quilt I wrapped tightly around him. When the tea was finished I poured two cups and set them aside briefly. I pulled Jaythen's shivering body back towards me. My back was pressed to a tree for support. With my right hand I lifted the cup of tea to his lips and encouraged him to sip carefully. My left hand rubbed his arm and chest to generate warmth.

Despite his chattering teeth, Jaythen sipped at the tea. He tried to talk, but the chills were too violent. Instead, his exhausted mind reached for mine.

_***…was scared, Master. Thought you wouldn't find me. Sorry for wandering off. I didn't mean to. Thank you for finding me and for taking care of me.***_

Without delay, I reached back. His mind remained open.

_***You'll be okay. Just have to warm you up. I was scared too, Jaythen. I thought I'd lost you.***_

_***I missed you, Master.***_

He didn't have to explain. Our bond was whole again.

_***You have no idea how much I missed you, Jaythen. Take another sip of tea. It'll warm you.***_

_***So cold. Can't stop shaking.***_

_***I'll stay with you until you warm.***_

_***Did the little gray come back with you?***_

_***I haven't seen him, but I think maybe he saved your life. Without his barking and wailing, I would have never found you.***_

_***I felt him, Master. In the force. I don't know how. I heard his barking. I hoped you would hear it too.***_

_***I did. But I can't explain it. Perhaps we'll find out in time. I'm very grateful to him.***_

_***So tired, Master. My head hurts.***_

_***I know. One more sip. There. Now you can sleep, Padawan. I'll be right here.***_

I set his cup down and hugged his trembling body to mine. The chills stopped sometime towards first light. Jaythen slept well beyond that.

~*~

The bruises had collected overnight but were concentrated on his left arm and upper chest. His upper chest having been slammed into the rock. I was more concerned about the bruise on his

face next to his left eye. It was as ugly a bruise as I'd seen from a blow to the head. And it easily explained his complaints that his head hurt. When he finally woke and vomited upon sitting upright, I was sure he was suffering from a concussion. How serious was the only question. The fact that he was awake and able to move was a good sign. His movements however were cautious and difficult. I needed to make a decision. Ideally I wanted to make for home. Realistically, there was no way he could manage on horseback over such terrain. If he was able to stand, I'd be happy. I knew this area though and knew that a short distance away was an area we could rest until he was well enough to travel. I just had to get him there.

I knelt to him and touched his shoulder. "Jaythen. How's your head?"

"Hurts. I'm dizzy and feel sick."

"I think you have a concussion. We need to move from this area into one that's safer. But we have to ride. It's not far."

"Can't ride. I just want to sit here. My head is spinning."

I felt for him, but there was too much dampness here in the middle of the trees and with the river splashing in all directions.

"I know you don't feel well, but we have to move. I've already packed the horses, except for the bag you were using as a pillow. I'll strap that to Saber. You'll ride with me on Flash, in front of me, so I can keep you steady."

"I'll throw up again."

"You will, but that's okay. Once we get to this other place you can rest all you want. I promise."

"…'kay, Master."

It didn't take long to pack the rest of the things and secure them onto Saber's back. I knew she'd follow and bring Spirit with her, so there was no need for a lead line. With the assistance of the force, I lifted Jaythen into Flash's saddle then boosted myself up behind him, securing him to me with my left hand and maintaining the reins in the other. He groaned a laugh.

"If I didn't feel so bad, that would have been fun floating up like that."

"You can try it when you feel better." I clicked to Flash and directed him up and past the river, leaning towards the west. Ultimately we'd go home the long way. It would take a half-day more, but the travel was smoother.

Jaythen rocked back and forth in my arms, pulling himself to the right twice to vomit whatever was left in his stomach from the day before. Finally he went limp against me. It made the remainder of the ride easier as he drifted into a semi-conscious state.

The area I aimed for was still quiet and open. It overlooked a small sun-bathed pond that I remember used to be a popular place for strange tiny lizards to lounge belly up, dive for snacks and then flip over to sun-roast their backsides. I hoped that Jaythen would find the same entertainment value in them that I did as his age. There were fewer trees here, but I found a double-trunked tree to set our gear. It would give us the right balance of sun and shade. The late autumn air was chilled, but sitting in the sun too long was probably not a good idea for a boy in his condition.

He offered no resistance as I moved him from saddle to ground. The grass was lush. The horses would be pleased. More importantly it would be softer bedding for all of us. I propped him against the tree. Spirit wandered off into the sun to lie down and stretch out. I'm sure his young legs were exhausted after the events of yesterday. Physically I didn't spot any injuries or wounds. Jaythen would be glad that the colt was unhurt.

I built a fire and managed to cook a not-to-horrible meal. Not once did I think about offering anything to my padawan. It would be water and broth for him today.

Mid-day came brought a bit of consciousness. That one side of face looked horrible, but he seemed more aware. He sipped water and asked about the horses and if I'd seen the gray kooba since yesterday. I hadn't. Another nap and he woke hungry. Naturally he wasn't happy with broth, but I didn't want anything in his stomach until the next day. I focused him on the tiny lizards that were playing in the pond. Now more steady on his feet, he moved towards the water. The small various colored beasts were everywhere. The insect supply under and on the surface of the water was enough to feed every last one of them many times over. Jaythen watched them until afternoon gave way to evening and the lizards vanished.

He slept through the night. I can't say that I did. Until I had an apprentice in my life, I never knew it was possible to worry so much over just about anything. What little sleep I managed was distracted and I felt it in the morning. I gave him permission to cook us breakfast, but told him to go easy on the spices. Bland was better. At this point he didn't care about spices, he just wanted food. The bruises were still ugly, but the redness around the facial bruise had lightened some. The concussion had been a minor one.

Fatigue continued, along with waves of dizziness. He was not yet ready to ride and I don't think we would make much progress with two of us in one saddle. So I planned for another night. The wind picked up as the sun went down. Sure sign that the temperature would drop lower tonight than the previous two. I wish we had more shelter than just the overhang of the tree. Jaythen was already shivering. His body still recovering, it worked hard to maintain a reasonable level of warmth. At some point during the night I must have taken pity on him and drawn him close to me because when I awoke sometime after dawn, he was curled into my chest, tangled in our quilts. His eyes slowly fought for life and he peaked out from the covering to look around. A thin layer of frost tipped the grasses. A cough escaped him as he pushed off my chest to sit upright.

"Cold this morning, Master."

"It'll get a lot worse this winter."

"That's a nice thought."

"I thought you'd enjoy that. You feeling up to riding for home today?"

"I think so. My head is only pounding a little. There's no dizziness yet. That's good. My back hurts though."

I hadn't thought of that. In all our explorations and then troubles I'd completely forgotten about continuing the ointment rubbing massage for the knots in his back and neck. The cold and awkward sleeping position surely had made it worse. "I'm sorry, Jaythen. I didn't even think about that. Me'da will have my hide, I'm sure. If you sit away from me, over there in the sun, I can try and rub the knots out. Depends on how bad it is, if you'd rather wait until we got home."

Sitting up he pulled his back straight and then bent over from side to side to stretch the muscles out. Easy to see how uncomfortable it was, I made the decision for him. "Come on. Move over there in the sun. I'll find the rub. Pull your shirt off."

There was no fresh bruising from the recent brush with death in the river, so I was able to do the normal massage, making sure the ointment was well worked into his skin. He bore the five minutes of warming pain after the fact. It was more intense than it had been in a while, due to my neglect. I wouldn't let it happen again.

"All done. Walk around and get your legs under you. Maybe take Saber and Spirit for a stroll. But don't lose sight of camp, understand me?"

"Yes, Master."

The horses were pleased to move. Saber walked on his right side. Spirit took to his left, almost as if they were waiting to support him if needed. It was a good feeling for me to see that they seemed aware of his current weakened state. The walk did him good and he came back feeling more awake.

"I think I'm ready to go home now, Master."

I smiled at his honesty. "We'll pack up after we eat something. We'll take a different path home. It's longer, but easier. You won't get bounced around as much. Depending on how much time we spend out of the saddle, we should get home in a day and a half. You can't ride all day and I really don't care to ride all day."

"I wish that whole river thing hadn't happened. I'm sorry for wandering off, Master. I was having such a great time on our journey until then. Despite that, I'm glad we came out here."

"Maybe the river incident wasn't such a bad thing. We found our bond again. That was the key. We needed something to trigger your walls so hard that you had to force yourself to hear me, no matter what. Could be we were destined to come to that river for that exact reason."

"I don't feel as empty now. When you couldn't speak through our bond, it was a lonely feeling. Even though you were right there with me, something was missing. I don't ever want to feel that again. It was almost as bad as the collar they made me wear. There I was shut off from everything. This time I could find you, but you couldn't find me. It's better now. Like it was meant to be."

With nothing else needing to be said, I put him to work at the fire to pan-fry a meal of eggs and elkon bacon that we'd preserved and wrapped. No sign of any nausea, Jaythen ate a strong breakfast. We were ready for the journey home.

~*~

It was a slow ride. The horses plodded along, Saber ever wary of her passenger. Flash decided it would humor him to act against the slow pace, tossing his head and grunting his displeasure. So when we got into a large clear area, I set him down to a fierce gallop for several minutes, making a large circle around the others. It did him good and humored my padawan as Spirit tried to give chase with his spindly legs. The little foal had some speed and was stronger every day, but couldn't yet match the strides of the long-legged Flash.

We camped overnight. It was uneventful, and we thought almost to the point of being boring. Didn't matter, I for one could use a little boredom after this adventure.

We did a quick pass of my parents' house to let them know we were safe. I'd save the details of the journey for tomorrow. Dusk was settling on Kembar Lune. The twin moons were out of synch. One was completely full, the other as a half moon. Usually that meant rain. And in the distance I could see a line of clouds moving in. An illuminated sky flashed yellow and white over the mountains. A storm was moving in.

The horses were secured, safe from the oncoming weather. Jaythen and slogged into the house, almost asleep standing up, though determined to heat enough water for a bath. The rain and water barrel we'd built outside the house allowed us to pump water directly into the water heating stove and then into the tub. A little advanced plumbing come to Kembar Lune. As longs as we had a good fire going to heat the stove, the water warmed nicely.

A weary padawan wandered out of the bathroom. His sleep shirt crooked and the wool slippers falling off his feet because he didn't pick them up to walk. I ordered him to bed and followed him in to make sure he didn't take any detours. With a wave of my hand I brought the candles to life. Jaythen climbed into bed with a deeply relieved sigh.

"Feels good to sleep on something soft again. I might sleep all day tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is a rest day for us, Padawan. Other than a few minor things, we will both take it easy for the day. So, if you feel the need, you have my permission to sleep the day away."

Reaching over to his nightstand, he touched a key on his data-pad and dialed into one of his music channels. A feeling of calm passed through the force between us. I reached for our bond. It was there, clear and clean. As if it had never gone away.

_***Goodnight, Padawan.***_

_***Goodnight, Master. I love you.***_

_***And I you, Jaythen. Sleep well.***_

~*~

We were all glad to rest that next day. It was a day of relaxation and visits. Anya came to see us. Mothers always worry, but she having just the tiniest fledglings of the force within her had known something was wrong while we were gone. Needless to say she was grateful to see us in one piece. I offered the tales of our journey to her. She was especially intrigued about the gray kooba that had latched itself to my apprentice for a time.

"That would explain why I saw a small gray furry thing roaming around our barn and digging holes in the garden. I almost set Cloud after it, you know how well kooba and horses get along." I thought about Flash's despise for the little beasts and imagined how an older mare like Cloud would have reacted. Though Saber and Spirit seemed unbothered.

"So, he's followed us. We wondered as we haven't seen or heard him since the trouble at the river. I guess he has no qualms about wandering away from his family, not that they paid much mind to him."

"And you both felt him in the force?"

"Felt and heard. It was an odd sensation, but very well could have saved Jaythen's life. No matter, his presence at that moment was most welcome."

We talked a bit longer before she made an excuse to leave. She never wanted to feel as if she was intruding. Her visit though was followed by Me'da and Eeshyn. I still hadn't gotten used to seeing our tall and stout shaman with a student trailing behind. But they seemed to fit well together. Resh spotted Jaythen at the paddock and hurried over. They exchanged a brief embrace and then went about whatever boys that age talk about. It was good to see they had become such good friends in such a short time. Me'da had come to see me and ask about things and to bring me some somber news. One of the two friends I'd told Jaythen about, Aleejha was terminally sick. She had been for a number of years, but the progression of the disease had increased in the last few months. They'd readied for this time. Their oldest daughter was twenty years and had been taking over her mother's duties recently. There were two boys of eighteen and sixteen. The youngest of the four children was a girl of five. The family would gather around their father, Esalii when Aleejha's death was imminent. They would mourn her greatly and for a period of three days be secluded only to themselves. I knew the smallest of the family would be well loved in these hardest of times. Me'da said Aleejha's time was limited. Her time was measured in months, not years. Perhaps three or four if her spirit stayed strong. I needed to see her.

We were due on Coruscant next week and with a three day flight, we'd be leaving at the end of this week. Once we returned, I would make time to see her and her family. I hadn't been here when my brother finally passed after a long battle. I still regret not seeing him in his last months. I vowed that I wouldn't let something similar happen to another person that I cared about.

I thanked Me'da for the news, as distressing as it was. He checked on the bruise Jaythen had suffered on his head and deemed it to be healing well. Then, he and his apprentice rode off to begin afternoon rounds. My eyes followed them, but my mind was elsewhere. Jaythen sensed that and distracted me.

"Master, are you okay?"

The concern in those green eyes was filled with sincerity. "Yes, I'm…no. No, I'm not. Remember Aleejha, I spoke of her and her family?" He nodded. "She's very ill. Her passing will come soon, within months." I explained further as we walked inside and sat in the living area. The windowed sun warmed the room. My thoughts fell away from me again and to my friend and her family. The tepid cup touching my hand startled me.

"Here, Master. Drink some of my elser tea. The spices are just right to help you relax. I modified the recipe some to work better. I haven't had any luck with it for my own worries. But it'll work for you. It won't make you sleepy, just will help calm you some. I think I got the mixture just right this time."

Looking up at him, the slight touch of playful uncertainty in his face made me grin. Suddenly I felt like a test subject. "Are you sure about this? I don't want to be throwing my guts up later tonight."

"Master!"

"Well, I had to know." I took the cup. It smelled tempting. I touched my mind briefly to his and felt the honest devotion there. "You look after me when I'm preoccupied. Thank you, Padawan."

So the tea was a bit spicy at first taste. It did do exactly what he said it would though. The edge came off me and I was able to think without a tense worry. My first concern had to be our upcoming trip to Coruscant. We had a list of things mandatory when we arrived, and then I wanted Jaythen to have time with Eryck if his friend wasn't off on a mission. I hoped to see Qui-Gon. I knew I'd see Kaai. I looked forward to the trip even though I dreaded what the council would have to say about anything. Most of my dealings would be with Yoda, but if the council felt that Jaythen's training wasn't progressing, or that his recovery wasn't where it should be, who knows what they would ask. I knew one thing for certain. I wanted Council member Kloon nowhere near my apprentice at any time. We would meet with the rest of them if that was necessary, but I would not submit my student to that terrorizing intrusion ever again.

More focused now, I plotted my next steps in my head. We would work on saber training in the next couple of days to sharpen us both. Force exercises to strengthen the progress Jaythen had made in the recent days. And then new force exercises in order to teach him things about the force hadn't yet learned. It would be a busy time added to the chores to keep us moving around the house.

Jaythen's saber technique was rusty. I'd failed in that I hadn't pushed him to maintain his skills since we'd settled on Kembar Lune, but I felt that other things had compromised that. Nevertheless we had to work to get him back on track. He wouldn't be quite to the level he was before his capture, but for a one handed, discomforted, emotionally unstable ten year old boy, he worked hard and did well. I was proud and pleased watching him throw himself into the effort and not allowing for any excuses. I'd never seen a Jedi battle with a light saber with only one good hand, although I knew there had been others. Perhaps never so young though. We realized that continued strength training in the right arm would be essential as it fatigued quite quickly. We needed to be better about physical therapy.

His mind was again completely open to mine. Whatever his captors and then Kloon had done to him to make him fear the force so completely had been calmed. I would always be wary that the issue might flare again, but for now my learner was content in the force. And much happier for it.

I taught him how to find that zone in which he could block out everything except a certain sound or a particular sight. And I taught him how to take a troubling emotion such as anger and release it slowly – deflating it. Ultimately it was a more stabilizing way to deal with negative emotions when you had to rid of them relatively quick, but without just tossing them aside. He was able to focus and lift certain sized things off the ground. The largest being a free-standing boulder. Bury that boulder partially in the earth though and it presented a far more difficult task. One for which he was not yet strong enough to complete.

We worked on everything we had time for and I knew he was as ready as he could be. He was as far along as he could be given the handicap of his left arm and the setbacks because of his capture. If the council wasn't satisfied, there was little we could do about it. My padawan had worked hard to recover what he'd lost with little help from them. I was proud of him if no one else.

~*~

My parents came to bid us goodbye. If all went according to plan, we'd be gone for almost two weeks, which included travel time. When we arrived home, winter would have begun. I made a mental note to have Jaythen pick up some extra clothes on Coruscant that would be helpful for the colder months. He had the fur lined clothes here, but knowing how compact and lightweight he was, even with the fur around him, he'd be cold. Neela would be caring for our horses, deciding to take them with her so she could manage them from her own home. Spirit seemed the most unsettled, but calmed when Jaythen went to him and cradled his head to his chest for a few moments. What he said – what he did, I didn't know. It had worked though and the growing colt went willingly with the others.

Jaythen had said goodbye to his friend Eeshyn the day before. He promised to bring him back some pala sweet cakes from Coruscant.

So we were set. Each of us packed a single bag. Then we sat on the ramp of the transport watching the world we were leaving behind. So much change had happened in these past months. Jaythen's kidnapping and torture had been that catalyst for change. But honestly, I'd felt change coming before then. He'd never been completely happy with his life as a Jedi. He never complained about it though. It was almost as if he'd awaited the one trigger that would allow that change to happen. Unfortunately that trigger came as a painful and terrifying period of time from which he struggled to recover. That event changed him just as the previous traumas in his life had changed him. I began to believe though that all of the bad things that had plagued him thus far plagued him for a reason. They had led him to me for one. I'd never considered or wanted the burden of an apprentice. Then Jaythen happened. He changed me in ways that I never thought possible. He changed me for the better. Before this boy, I thought I had been content. I had my routine and change was something I didn't much think about or care for really. Jaythen altered all of that. Events that followed altered that even further.

This more recent trauma had brought us together even more. He was no longer just my apprentice, he was my son. And I had been able to bring him home to a place where he could be free of some of the bad which beleaguered him at the temple. At least now he'd have a chance to enjoy the last parts of his childhood and eventually continue with a life of is own here as an adult, Jedi or not. But that was years away. Years that I hoped wouldn't hurry by.

"You ready?" I said to him finally.

He took a deep breath and one last look at Kembar Lune. At our home. "Yes, Master. I'm ready."

I ruffled his longer hair, reminding myself we would have to fix that once we arrived. I found myself looking forward to the trip. Mostly I looked forward to seeing friends. "Okay then. Let's start for Coruscant."

The ramp closed behind us. We both fought back the feelings of homesickness already starting. A laugh was shared when we both announced in unison that we were homesick before we'd even left the ground.

"We'll be back soon enough. And autumn will have changed to winter by then."

More change.

I found that the idea of change didn't bother me any longer. I only had to look back at the last few years to see what change had brought me.

_He _sat to my left and began procedures to lift away from Kembar Lune.

~*~

END

Much thanks to all those who stuck with me on this one. I so appreciate the time you gave me to read and offer comments on my story. Thank you!


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